My kid made me hurt my, um, self.

About 13 years ago, when the Rykid was small, I used to chase him around making pinching motions while saying “Getcher butt!” in a threatening voice. He’d squeal and run until I caught him and then giggle while I playfully would almost give him a pinch.

Anyway, he decided to try it on me while I was on the phone at my parents’ house. He came up behind me, said “Get a butt,” and pinched me.

Now, I didn’t expect it. Not at all. And the normal reaction to an unfamiliar feeling on the posterior is to jerk your hips forward.

So I slam-humped my parents’ built-in buffet.

I went: Shock anger discomfort embarassment bemusement laughter.

It took a while before I could explain to my friend on the phone what had just happened, but first I had to let my son know that I was OK but that it would be best to let me know when he was going to do something like that.

This came up when a group of us were discussing scenes that should appear on America’s Funniest Home Videos. I think this qualifies. Too bad it wasn’t filmed.

Earlier today, Hardship(T.M.) and I were having tea at the table. She was complaining about a pimple on her back she couldnt reach. I offered to take a look, providing I wouldnt touch it. Closer inspection revealed a beauty of a spot… Which I was forbidden to touch as it was too sore. So I asked her some random question about her day, and she began to tell me “Oh, the usual, balh blah blah…” at which point I pounced, squeezing that bad boy. It popped, she squeeled, I laughed. She called me a “Meanie”, and I did a little cackle dance, lauging at my cunning. I danced into an ajar door, face first. I went down like a cold beer, and did not rise for some time. I actually feel a bit concussed writing this, perhaps a trip to the ER might not have been a bad idea.

Ha. Cute stories, both of you.

Karma does what?

Um, maybe so, but hope you’re OK.

Now what I’m thinking isn’t karma or anything like that…what I’m wondering if you have, unknowingly, got yourself a “Conjure Wife.”

I’d be careful, that’s all. :confused: Just supposing. Don’t take offense. Please let the wifey know that I meant no offense, pretty please?

Maybe sometime I’ll relate the story about how the Rykid, while we were wrestling around, managed to swing a backhanded karate chop that connected dead smack on my adam’s apple, thereby leaving a huge bruise that showed up very well when I had my ID-badge picture taken at a new job.

Uh, I guess I just did.