My 'Kindergarten Cop' moment

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I started teaching English in a local kindergarten last week. It’s just two classes, one with mostly 4-year-olds and one with mostly 5-year-olds. The first class went just swimmingly, and I got the second one started in the same way: ‘Good morning, my name is shantih, and I come from America.’

But this time, a little girl piped up, just as bright as a new penny: ‘My daddy lives in America! He doesn’t see us anymore, and he has a girlfriend, and her name is Amy, and my mommy says she destroyed our family.’
:eek:
Um, good morning to you, sweetie! Now let’s all learn the names of some colors in English!

2

Ouch! Good luck with the kiddies. I’m guessing you will have many Kindergarten Cop moments: “I have a pee pee”, “I have two mommies”, etc.

That’s what will make it so much fun! :wink:

3

When I was a teacher, a kindergartner came up to me on September 12, 2001 and said very solemnly:

“Mr. Tuck, did you know some people hit some buildings with airplanes yesterday? They fell down and some people died.”

The only thing you can do is answer simply and factually because they are learning how to deal with it. I said, “Yes, I know. It was very, very sad.”

4

“It’s not a toomah!”

I love that movie. :slight_smile:

Good luck, and enjoy yourself! Kids that age are fun.

5

I teach high school, but the list of weird things kids have said is too long to remember. I have managed to write down a few.

“The Marinara Trench.”

“Mr. Cardinal!”
“What?”
“Oh, nevermind. I was talking to my imaginary Mr. Cardinal.”

“I’m hyper today because I’m emo at home.”

“I’m not complaining, I’m just saying NOOOOOOO!!”

“Has your butt ever hurt?”

“Why does your nose come out of your face?”

“Do fire ants eat fire?” This was from the girl who continually embarrassed herself with dim, ignorant, and gullible statements.

“Oh, I thought 11:11 was both hands on the 11.”

“I don’t understand these questions.”
“Let’s see… Wait, are you looking at chapter 14 questions when the notes in your own hand are for chapter 5?”

6

My 4-year-old daughter asks the “why” questions; if I think I can communicate an answer, I do. If I can’t, I just ask “why not?” This usually doesn’t seem as clever to her as it does to me.

7

I teach sixth graders, but one day the kinder teacher had to leave for an emergency, and they needed someone to cover for 20 minutes. It just happened to be my prep time, so I was available.

Longest.

Twenty.

Minutes.

Of.

My.

Life.

8

shantih, where are you teaching?

I teach preschool in the mornings (4-year-olds) and in the afternoons I work at an afterschool program with kindergarten-age kids (mostly 5-year-olds).
I love this age.

9

Haha, oh man. I had the same type of experience when I was temping at a playground at age 18. I was introducing myself to the first graders and one girl asked me what my parents did for a living. I told her that my dad does this-and-this and my mom does that-and-that, and then asked her “So what about you then?”

“My mommy works in the supermarket and my daddy is a shithead.” :eek: Oooookay then who wants to go play TAG YAAAY?!

10

Right! That would make the story a bit more understandable, I do suppose. I live in Germany. My kids are 9 and 12 now, and I’d forgotten what a cute age this is!

11

My five year old’s current favourite question is…

“why can’t I see my eyes?”

12

reads post
looks at username
giggles non-stop for ten minutes

13

At my preschool I used to work at, I was showing the kids a book called What Grows In Your Garden. I then asked them to name things that grew in their gardens at home.

“Flowers!”

“Trees!”

“Mexicans!” :eek:

How the hell do you respond to that? I stammered a little and said, “Oh no, Mexicans grow in Mexico.” :smack:

14

I think my absolute favorite student line was from an 8th grader in Writing class.

“Oh, Ms. Phouka, can I write about The Booger?”

blink blink

“The who?” I ask.

“The Booger!”

She was so excited about her idea, I knew I had to be missing something. I didn’t want to shut her down, so I did the only thing I could think of, ask more questions.

“Tell me about The Booger,” I said.

“You know, The Booger. It’s a monster, and it hides in your closet and scares little kids?”

blink /computing/ /computing/

“The Boogie Man?”

“Yeah! Whatever! The Booger!”

“Knock yourself out, kiddo.”