My life is now complete, or More insanity from Jack Chick

Yes ladies and gentlemen, there’s a brand new Chick tract out, featuring Bob and the priest from the other tracts. This one is especially stupid and offensive. Chick even screws up “Allahu Ackbar”. This is probably the dumbest tract since Big Daddy.

You can see the new turd of a comic here.

I also love the “crazy, man!”

On the downside, the evil profesor doesn’t die horribly and go to hell, or cry “I never knew!” and accept Jesus. And where’s John-Bob Waters?

Oops, I looked at the wrong one!

“I never knew!”

OK, that was a good one, and John-Bob was there.

Important question: was Fang ever found?

At least he’s showing continuity.

This is truly hilarious.
Thanks I needed a smile, and I always get the best ones from the idiocy of people like that-

Eh, I can’t really be bothered to get up a good fit of indignation at Chick’s tracts. They’re mindlessly bigoted swill aimed squarely at his core audience of semi-literate grade school dropouts who are immune to reason or logic. Anyone who believes that Russia and Germany will ally themselves with Muslim nations, let alone that Muslim nations will put up a united front by themselves obviously knows nothing about the current geopolitical climax.

And all the other garbage about the Roman Catholic CHurch being the Great Whore, every religion on earth acknowledging Papal supremacy and so on is just fundie porn so low-rent trailer trash can feel puffed up and superior to all them dayum furriners.

No, dear, you’re thinking of Joan Collins.

God apparently keeps his wrath bottled up in a test tube. Who knew?

Russia and Germany? Where is he getting this stuff? Well its nice that Ethopia returned Israel’s Ark and its cool to see the Pope is a Texas fan.

I seriously want to know. Why Russia and Germany? Can anyone figure out why those nations would be mentioned?

Does anyone know what the deal is with that crazy ass dog that shows up in the first few panels of every strip?

Haj

It’s Fang! You know, Phyllis Diller’s husband.

It’s got Bob: 5 pts.

It’s got Damien the priest: 2 pts.

It’s got anti-Islamic fantasy of the destruction of the Dome of the Rock: 10 pts

It’s got an elaborate sicko fantasy about the Pope becoming the antichrist: 15 pts

It calls the Catholic Church the “Whore of Babylon”: 5 pts.

It’s got Bob making a sanctimonious assumption that he will be “raptured.” 10 pts.

It shamelessly puts the words “left behind” in boldface as an obvious attempt to attract fans of those books: -15 pts.

It’s got sinners being cast into Hell: 20 pts.

No villification of gay people: -20 pts.

It’s got decapitated heads on spikes: 50 pts.

No “Haw haw”: -2 pts.

Total: 80 pts.

I give the tract a solid B+.

An I the only one who thought that it was weird that Damien is shacked up with Bob and his “wife”?

Helen’s got scary eyes too! BOB’S HYPNOTIZED HIM!

The Beast loves Ozzy!

God’s test-tube wrath!

Where’s the haw haw, BTW? I didn’t catch it.

Sorry, wait, no haw haw. Eve’s post misled me. Darn.

I think it comes from Ezekiel… Somewhere in the prophetical books is reference to the tribes of Gog and Magog (Russia to Chick), and Gomer (Germany) attacking Israel.

He somehow claims to draw it from Ezekiel 38, which is all about the kingdoms of Gog and Magog attacking Israel from the north. For some reason Chick seems to have decided that Gog and Magog are Russia and Germany. Who knows why? It’s probably just voices in his head or something.

…and was part of their ‘Rapture’?