and it would be awesome except my life is not served in darkened rooms in two hour heavily-edited segments. I finally feel what movie characters feel when we’re not watching them, those droning hours in between worthy scenes. However, not sleeping much due to jet lag and over-analyzing my own life, the lines between fiction and reality are starting to blur. In the past few weeks I have learned the following:
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Conflict is rarely fully resolved before it’s get really boring.
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Love triangles are actually akin to a game where three people keep their hand on a hot stove trying to be very quiet and the first person to flip out and scream gets to leave burned and alone.
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Rice cookers cook a lot more than rice. In fact they cook anything for a very liberal definition of “cook”.
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Co-workers from other countries with limited English profeciency sometimes do keep repeating amazing one-liners. However, consistently saying “interrelation” (as in "Dear Groman-san, Thank you for your prompt interrelation. ") instead of “integration” is only funny in my head because I’m tired and stupid. It’s especially poignant when you retell this story three times in one day, all to the same person who has better things to do.
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When you least expect it, you will be stalked and verbally assaulted by a flock of wild geese. If I didn’t jump in my car in time I might have already been in the papers by now - “Area man killed by geese”. You see, I don’t even deserve a headline pun.
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If you get a grave-sounding voice mail message from your manager to see him in his office as soon as possible it doesn’t help that he just wants to confirm you’re going on the company ski trip. Apprehension is replaced by confusion and paranoia. Maybe I need a better soundtrack.
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You know how you always think that you can manage to handle an awkward situation much better than Ben Stiller’s character? That’s not true. When your mother walks into your apartment without knocking and you know there’s a naked girl in your bedroom not aware of this fact, it is very hard to carry on a natural conversation. My mother now thinks I do drugs because I TALK. VERY. VERY. LOUDLY. AND. KEEP. GLANCING. DOWN. THE. HALLWAAAY. :smack: The other parts aren’t good either, and there’s no happy ending.
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Your tripod will fall apart into more pieces than you could possibly imagine a tripod having right when you need it quickly. You will miraculously manage to reassemble it in a minute only to have it fall apart again, this time with the camera on it, the moment you set time delay and walk into the scene. An angry little dog might make an appearance at this point.
Ok, this is about as pointless as I can handle myself, I just felt like typing because lord knows I don’t do enough of that :rolleyes: so
Good night.