Is love like in the movies? (your experiences)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Have you ever had a romantic movie moment? I ask this question because I was watching a movie the other night and it had one of those moments where the two principle characters suddenly kiss as if by a sudden inspiration. The guy was interested in the girl, but she didn’t want to get involved. She came to see him because he was hurt, and almost out of the blue they start kissing.

This sort of thing seems common in the movies along with the corresponding theme of all-conquering true love that hits you like a sack of bricks.

In my experience this sort of thing doesn’t happen often (if at all) in real life. Oh sure, love exists, but I’m not so sure it works like in the movies. I’d love to hear real stories of people being smitten by somebody and the two of you falling in love and making it work. I’d also like to hear of times it didn’t work. And how about movie moments? Have you ever just suddenly realized you had to kiss someone, given in to the urge, and then had a successful relationship after that? (Or a similar scenario?)

Actually, I’d love to hear non-romantic movie-moments as well. I’m interested in this on two levels, I’d like to hear cool stories, but I’m also interested on the accuracy of movies in portraying human interaction. I tend not to be very passionate (in the sense of not often being subject to powerful emotions or urges), in a situation like the one described above I would probably chicken out or ask before I kissed someone who I wasn’t sure was interested.

2

Movies reflect life? Just remember, the movie Titanic took longer than the original ship did to sink.

My favorite example happened many years ago. Shortly after my divorce I was having dinner with an old friend, also recently divorced. We took turns feeling sorry for ourselves and concluded that we each would have been better off had we hooked up with “someone just like you.”

Then we finished dessert and went our separate ways because in real life, unlike the movies, “someone just like you” doesn’t mean you.

3

You know, reading my original post, I realize I may sound kind of naive. Not that this is a bad thing and not that I’m not naive… but I thought I should try to be a little more clear.

Like most people, I think, I have internalized a healthy skepticism for what happens in movies while at the same time accepting and enjoying the stories (provided they aren’t too ridiculous). I am just questioning the my beliefs in two ways. I’m asking if maybe things happen like in the movies more often than I think. I am also asking why we accept implausibilities in movies.

I’ve experienced plenty of cool things that I think would make a good scene in a movie, the only thing is that the experiences don’t organize themselves as well as in the movies. Also, none of the experiences would work very well in an action or romance scene. I figure if I’ve had movie moments in other genres, maybe others have had them in the action or romance genre.

An example of a moment that has parallels to the romantic moment I described earlier happened in high school. We were in a school play and the drama teacher rushed in late to rehearsal and said “Hey guys, I’m sorry, I’ve got to go talk to the principal, I’ll be right back. Now don’t disappear on me!” After she left one of us said “We should actually disappear before she gets back.” We all looked at each other and then ran for hiding places. Behind the curtains, under the stage etc. It took less than a minute for us all to hide and not one of the 10 or so cast members questioned the idea that we should hide or was slow in doing it.

I realize this isn’t a perfect movie scene by any means, but it was an instance where we acted almost without speaking. Except for the original suggestion, I don’t think anyone said anything. It just happened.

4

What is this “love” thing, of which you speak? :confused:

5

My love life is very much like Titanic. It’s really pleasant and exciting for a short time, and then something bad happens, and then I die.

But more seriously, most movies are about getting to a happy ending, or at least an ending of some sort. IRL, things just don’t happen that cleanly, people just aren’t that glib, and sincere emotion doesn’t usually win the day. Movies of a romantic nature are most often made to portray life as we wish it was, not how it really is.

6

I had this crush on a girl I worked with, when I was working at a resturaunt. She was several years younger than me, and to me at the time, did not make a difference.
The crush was one of those young teenage crushes. The kind that puts the recipient on a pedestal, perfect and flawless.

One night, after work, we sat and talked, all night long, about nothing in particular, just what popped into our heads at the time. For hours this continued, unbroken by any disturbances, our eyes meeting for long streches of time. In fact, I imagined I saw a glimmer of awarness in those lovely green eyes, realization that I was the ONE for her. We went out and stargazed that night after we talked in the parking lot, when the lights finally dimmed and the store managers went home. The sense of togetherness was complete in that moment, I remember, just us two existed together as a whole in a world that was asleep. Ahh, that night was perfect.
After stargazing, in the wee hours of the morning, we stood in rapt attention as the sun poked its tired head above the horizon, illuminating us with its glory, searing our love in its unimaginable firey rays. I remember her gasping at its beauty and felt her hand enter mine, as if in fear of the spectacle that was before her. I wrapped my hands around her waist and she held on to my arms. Later, she dropped me off at my place, and told me it was the best night she had ever experienced. I was in love.

If only I had died that day, I would have spent my last moments in pure exctasy, a perfect movie moment, untouched by the troubles of the world. I found out weeks later, when I asked her out, that she did not share those feelings with me, that she had only clasped my hand as a friend sharing a wonderful sight. It broke my heart, and to this day, I have never loved the same. Life, I have learned, Is nothing like the movies. Especially if you are not the dashing, tall and strong hero.

7

“Love” is a fiction perpetuated by the matriarchy for the sole purpose of oppressing men.

8

I had a relationship once that played out with quite a few “movie moments.” Part of the reason it did was because it was a long distance relationship and there is a lot of pent up anticipation and emotion when you manage to see each other. It was a lot of fun, but in the end it didn’t work out. In a way I’m glad it didn’t because then we would have been spending a lot of time doing the ordinary mundane things everyone has to do and that magic sheen would have worn off pretty quick.

9

Well, sure. But not in the stereotypical ways.
When I think of realistic love, I think of movies that have realistic moments.
Off the top of my head, Cameron Crowe has written directed several movies which have had some very genuine moments/dialogue in them that I’ve been able to relate to.

I think a lot of great movies play around with realistic moments, then switch it up with a happy ending. That way we get to relate to the characters and then enjoy the fantasy of everything working out wonderfully in the end.

Slightly off topic… While I won’t bother to grab a link, The Onion had a great article some time ago about a man who was arrested after behaving like a romantic comedy character.
Essentially he was a stalker, who wouldn’t say no. And instead of her finally breaking down and seeing his heart of gold, she had him arrested. Very, very funny.

10

I think that movie love actually hurts real love in many instances. People expect things to happen like they do in the movies, and then they miss love when it comes thier way becasue they are waiting for the ambiant music to kick in and tell them that this is “the real thing.” Furthermore, movies/TV specialize in conflict-filled relationships because those make the most interesting stories. I think this sets up the expectation that real love has to hurt, has to involve fighting and despair and angst. People don’t repsect the kind of love that comes from two straightforward people who have straightforward feeling for each other, even though that sort of love is every bit as deep and abiding.

11

You know, I have a theory on movie love stories. It isn’t so much that what is in the movies is innacurate but that we don’t see the whole story. Movies can’t fit everything that happens in the short amount of time available to them. All sorts of stuff happens in between the stuff we see.

That said, many movies still have many moments of inaccuracy. It seems like initiating relationships involves a lot of negotiation and that the negotiation doesn’t have to be the urgent matter it is in most movies.

12

If real love was like movie love, you’d know it because music would start to play when you saw the person who is your destiny.

I’m a hopeless dork. I want, desperately, to believe movie love exists. I know it doesn’t, but that does not stop me from believing that you can look someone in the eyes and know they are the one for you. I even know people who claim that as soon as the met/kissed their spouse, they “just knew”. I don’t think that happens for most people. I think most people live in real time, not speeded-up movie time and relationships take time to develop. Movies can afford to have movies love because people either die in the end (like Romeo and Juliet, less than a week from start to finish) or finish their lives off-screen (like Year of the Comet, six days start to end). I think the movies who portray love as happening in something like real-time are rare (The Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally are the only examples I can think of right now.

13

My wife & I are incredibly lucky to have met, happier than together than we ever expected to be, than people we know, and it just keeps getting better. (Doesn’t it make you want to puke?)

BUT movie moments? I don’t know. Not love at first sight, although sometimes one of us throws a longing glance at the other. Sometimes even simultaneously. Anyway, I’m too busy living it to think about how the story plays.

Movies are mostly oversimplifications and generally happier than real life, I’m sorry to say.

14

my husband and i lived the days of wine and roses…only crappier and more hellish.

15

SETTING: A bed.
PLAYERS: Swiddles, NewSwiddleFellow
SITUATION: After a lot of pent of sexual tension has released itself, and both are falling asleep, NSF laughs.

SWIDDLES: What?
NSF: Whaaa?
SWIDDLES: You were laughing.
NSF: I was asleep.
SWIDDLES: * (stroking NSF’s forehead) There’s a line in Much Ado About Nothing about a character who’s so happy, she wakes herself by laughing in her sleep.
NSF:( turns to stare purposefully into her eyes) * I’m happy right now.

CUE music and more kissy-face stuff.

That’s about as close as I’ve ever gotten. Turns out the guy was a manipulating ass-face. Goes to show you: the ones that are akward are at least being spontaniously akward. The ones that are smooth have likely pre-planned the whole damned thing. Feh.

16

Let me tell you a secret, buddy. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter if you are. :frowning:

17

You know that movie Some Kind Of Wonderful? The one where the girl realizes she and her friend are right for each other, but he loves someone else, but eventually the girl and the friend end up together?

I’ve had that happen, except for the last part.

18

Had the “best friend stabbed me in the back and went out with my object of interest” thing happen. Except in this case, I’d known the guy since we were little kids and we’d been really close. This one hurt a lot, and there was no eventual “things set right” type ending. They spent four long years being physically and verbally abusive to each other, and lucky me had a front-row seat to it all.

Then there’s my “it took us ten years to admit we were interested in each other” episode, but that one’s not much cheerier.

Luckily, I’ve had one or two romances that I can actually look back upon with fondness.

19

When you are truly in love, you feel it in your pants.

Well, that’s what I learned today from the movie ‘The Ladies Man’. Seems pretty accurate to me.

20

I’ve had one movie romance in my life and I’m now going to inflict it on all of you.

I’d just started sharing a house with a close female friend who I’d known for years (nope it’s not going where you think). Her family all lived out of town so I’d only managed to meet her parents briefly a couple of times, and the rest of her family never. Shortly after I moved in with her her sister came to visit for the weekend on her way through town. After dinner and watching some TV my flatmate went to bed and at about this time the movie soundtrack kicked in. We started talking about everything and nothing, and within minutes I felt like I’d known this girl my whole life. It was so intense and so rapid that when I remember it I sometimes swear there was music. We talked into the wee hours of the morning, nothing was said or done romance-wise and we retired. Nothing actually happened then but it was rather intense. We had no contact at all for about 4 months after that, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her, I was totally smitten.

We met up again at her sisters wedding, where she was a bridesmaid. I first saw her after all this time as she was walking down the aisle, and the reaction I got just from seeing this girl I’d only met once before in my life was beyond anything I can described. She literally took my breath away. She really was as beautiful as I remembered her. (How’s that for a movie moment?) We started talking at the reception and it was the same as the first time: instant rapport and harps in the background. God this girl was amazing, she was like someone had materialised all my fantasies about my ideal woman, and the whole world just seemed to fade away as we talked. We moved to the hotel bar and then found our way to a club where we talked and danced and flirted for hours complete with the 4am slow dance. I took her home just on dawn. As I dropped her off I asked her for a goodbye hug. We hugged, just like friends at first, then we moved closer and closer, looked into each others eyes and then it happened :The Movie First Kiss[sup]TM[/sup]. Two young people, the man in a sportscoat the girl in a formal gown with her done up, their lips meeting for the first time just as the sky is turning pink and the dawn chorus is starting. And it really was as amazing as the movies make it out to be. The feeling was incredibly intense and it was an effort to let each other go. We must have had a final kiss about half a dozen times before we finally parted.

We ended up going out together and I found out that she’d felt exactly the same way about everything, including the obsession after our first meeting.

Unfortunately this is another story without a happy ending. We went out for about 8 months, with her living in another town. The relationship became deeper and deeper and I ended up moving town, at least in part to be with her. Unfortunately her sister, my good ‘friend’ of 5+ years, decided that I wasn’t suitable for her sister and various nastiness ensued. We parted on good terms but the sudden change of pace from being together constantly and the friction caused by her sister took it’s toll. Niether of us could handle it. Ironically I’m still on good terms with her and her parents but my ‘friend’ and I haven’t spoken since.

Like romansperson said it’s probably easier to have movie moments with LDRs. All the great moments are compressed and the tension built up just like they are in the movies.
Real life ruins that.

I think I’ll pour myslef a bourbon and go listen to my Tori Amos CD’s now.