My long distance g/f, no bees or honey involved.

So after urgings by a friend…I go post on one of those “Meet overseas women” sites. He travels alot for work (jewelry shopper) and apparently uses such sites to meet ladies to hang out with while he is abroad.

So I sign up figuring I would see what it looks like. I basically copy and paste my OK Cupid Profile info and post a couple pics.

Couple heavy work days follow, didnt look at personal email.

Finally check…WOW ok I already see why some guys like this. The response is overwhelming. Like 35 replies

So I start looking through the replys about half scream scammer, obvious cookie cutter replies, various please send money so I can get visa, computer/internet time, check my profile at (porn site), etc.

But the rest of them…other than occasional atypical bits of english grammar you would expect from a non primary english speaker. Nice, polite, personalized replies that referenced items in my profile and looked like well constructed personal responses.

Ok so I read through them all. I eliminate most for one reason or another. I reply to 4 of them. After exchanging a dozen or so emails 2 more have been eliminated. I have 2 left…Both heartstopping gorgeous, both I have chatted with live on webcam, and both smart, practical, claim to have pretty good jobs. The one started asking alot of pointed financial questions and started asking for money for travel expenses to come see me. Granted I can afford it, but it put me on guard and eventually ruled her out. So one left

2 months pass, we talk almost every day, sometimes for hours mostly yahoo chat sometimes video sometimes not. I mention the idea of coming here. She thinks its a great idea. She says she will look into travel expenses. I ask if she requires assistance with travel expenses and she says she may need help with some of it, but thinks she can handle most of it. about a week later I get a scanned copy of her passport dates all indicate its new, and a picture of her holding it. Ok feels legit. Her visa interview was yesterday and she said it went well. She went through some kind of “travel agency” that apparently helps coach you through the interview and helps assemble all the proper documentation as well as goes along for the interview. She will know within 2 weeks if she will get the visa and if so she is coming to visit and stay with me for a month. The travel agency claims 90%+ success rates and as long as she was honest with travel place and answered as they instructed her it should be fine. The only thing she asked financially is return airfare. She is basically saying she can here if I can pay her return flight back (around $600).

So she is willing to drop about $1K to fly here and meet me between passport, visa, and flight. Most of the time I hear about all kinds of horror stories about people sending money then never hearing back. This one looks totally on the up and up. Granted she may just be playing a long game but I am not going to pay out for any last minute “emergencies”, and last minute cancellations or cold feet really have no benefit to her…so I think 90% of the scams are off the table.

(checks condom supply) 97.8% of the scams :smiley:

So it looks like my online lady is getting into reality. Hopefully this all goes better than Bubba and his honey.

Bonus, I get a crash course in vietnamese cooking. :smiley: Luckily she thinks balut is disgusting.

How much age difference is there between you two (assuming you would ask such a gauche question of a lady)?

Are you sure she doesn’t live in the US? Although if she is trying to scam you out of $600, she is putting way too much effort into it.

Also, if she is legit, does she have a sister?

32 So cradle robbing not really an issue I’m 43

Well I was planning to just pay directly for the return flight with my CC. Its a US based carrier for most of the trip each way.

Actually yes…but she is 25 and too skinny/tiny for my tastes.

Good luck, hope things go smoothly! :slight_smile:

Good luck. I should look into that if it actually works after you remove the scammers.

I have heard of cases where women (the ones I have heard about have been from the Philippines) come here and marry affluent men to get legal status in the country. Once they are established here, they divorce the guy and remain in the country, grabbing as many of his assets as possible in the divorce. I’m not saying that’s what is going on in your case, but I’d keep the guard up at least to some degree.

Yeah, I will have a small prenup if I ever marry again…my business is off limits. Its also incorporated which helps. since business revenues are not my income.


It may be wise to get her a room at an extended stay hotel for the duration, so she doesn’t feel that she owes you sex in exchange for a place to stay.

Did you check her name, emails, and address in google?

Best of luck

and GIS the pictures.

I was thinking this too… somewhere in her forties would be nice.

Boy aren’t you a little ray of sunshine.

I have already told her if she was unhappy with our arrangement or is unhappy being here with me she can go home anytime. I have another room she can sleep in as well if for whatever reason she chooses not to sleep with me. FTR she is the one who first initiated discussions of us sleeping together…not being sure where cultural lines were drawn I kept things very polite and PC.

So :rolleyes:

Eh…I’d be wary if I were you. You’ve got to figure out what it is she wants. If it’s love, I don’t know why she couldn’t get that back home. And who has a “pretty good job” and can take a month off to visit someone overseas?

Hope it works out for you though.

Good call

Just checked 5-6 of the 30 or so I have all were no matches

What does that signify?

I asked that very same question of her, why look halfway around the planet?

Like most women on these sites she has a perception that american men treat women better in general. The same types of guys she is looking to avoid exist in our dating world too maybe she is just having a hard time finding her way out of that crowd.

She also implied she is not very attractive by local standards, very tall (5’5" is pretty tall for Vietnamese women), bulkier, and darker skinned than most. Like many cultures, the “ideal” is often seen as lighter skinned and petite. Being a guy with a preference for dark hair and eyes, much of my dating history is Hispanics who share similar skin tones, this is not a problem. I don’t remember the term, but a couple of her friends have nicknamed her something equivalent to us saying “Amazon”.

Google Image search

If she (or people using her picture) had been flinging pics all over for scamming purposes, she would probably have a bunch of hits.