I got a telephone call from my Mom yesterday. She’s been diagnosed with breast cancer.
It’s amazing, isn’t it? A little while ago my biggest problem was the stain my leaking flowerpot left on the wooden floor. That doesn’t seem all that important anymore. One phone call, and life changes.
I’m trying to tell myself it isn’t that bad, and it probably isn’t. It was caught early, she’s pretty young as these things go, and she’s going into surgery in a few weeks. If it hasn’t spread, and chances are it hasn’t, she’s in the clear.
Breast cancer kills one in three of patients diagnosed with it, but as I said it was caught early and she’s young. Her chances are good.
Still, I guess I never knew my world was so fragile. But it is. And worse, this problem doesn’t even have an ass I can kick. There’s nothing I can do.
Fuck.
I could really use some Doperlove right now, if anyone’s out there.
Priceguy , I am so sorry to hear about your mother. She has a fight ahead of her.
It is true how suddenly life changes. And it is impossible for it to return to the way it was “before.”
But there is something you can do. Love her, be her strength if she needs to be strong, her support if she needs someone to lean on. I do undestand the anger and the helplessness because it is not something you can just fix and be done with. It is something that will take time and pain.
My thoughts and blessings to both you and your mother.
Hugs and prayers and good vibes headed out to you and your mom.
My sister got breast cancer when she was 43. Nine years later, she’s fine, and gets one clean bill of health after another.
Hang in there – be the best support to her you can be (just “Love you” calls and cards and emails mean a lot), and make sure you find someone who can support you, because this is seriously scary shit.
I lost the woman who essentially raised me to breast cancer a month after my son was born. She was in Minnesota at the time, with her parents, and I was in Arizona… she never saw my baby She had it for a LONG time though. She fought it for years and years, and most of the time was doing fairly OK.
You need to do something though. You need to keep track of her doctor and how he is treating her. When Sonia was having really bad pain, her doctor was very dismissive about it, saying that breast cancer wasn’t particularly painful. Get on his/her ass if they aren’t giving your mom the care that she needs.
Priceguy - sorry to hear about your mom. The “caught early” part is a positive from what I’ve read/researched in the last 24 hrs.
My mother-in-law was just diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday after they got the pathology results back from the biopsy they did on her last week. Her’s was also “caught early” according to the doc, but they haven’t determined a stage since they haven’t checked lymph nodes yet. They are going back in to remove surrounding tissue, check nodes and then do some radiation therapy on her, but the doc gave her a 95% chance that this initial treatment will take care of the problem if it hasn’t spread.
“Caught Early” is WAY positive, actually. Mrs. Wang-Ka was lucky in that respect.
On the other hand, we didn’t find out for two months, because the doctors didn’t believe that it could possibly be CANCER, not in a woman as young as she was at the time. They figured it had to be a benign polyp of some kind, and they put off the biopsy.
The bad news is this: it hits you upside the head like a twobyfour, and you aren’t going to be “okay” for quite some time now. Furthermore, you’re going to need to be tough and supportive, because she is going to go through some serious emotional rollercoaster, if you know what I mean.
The GOOD news: they’re going to take it out, and check her lymph nodes for signs that it’s spread. If it hasn’t, her chances are WAY in her favor, the kind of odds that make you rich in Vegas.
But it’s still gonna be a while before any of you are “okay,” even if everything goes peachy-keenerino, and you have my sympathy.
(Mrs. Wang-Ka was diagnosed in '96, had surgery, chemo, and radiation, just to be on the safe side, even though it didn’t seem to have spread… and has been cancer-free ever since. )
Sorry that you and your mom are going through this, Priceguy, and you also, H8_2_W8. My husband’s grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer only a few days after his father died. Her situation was much like your mom’s – she was relatively young, it was caught early thanks to a mammogram, and they decided to treat with surgery. She celebrated 5 years of being cancer free last November, and no one who meets her now would ever guess she had cancer. Keep the faith that things will be okay, and remember that you both have the positive thinking of a lot of Dopers on your side.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in July. She called me saying that they’d faound some spots of calcification in her recent mammogram and were going to check it out, but her doc assured her that it was probably nothing. Then, she called me one afternoon to tell me that it was cancer. I was crushed. She had a mastectomy + reconstruction about 2 weeks ago and is doing really well right now. They said that everything should be clear right now. I’m just hoping that everything is okay.
I am sorry, Priceguy, and I also extend those condolences to the rest of you (in this thread or not) who are going through this.
My girlfriend was diagnosed last year. She’s my age (mid-30s) and was pregnant at the time. We, her friends, absolutely freaked out–though that was behind her back. For her, we rallied, but behind the scenes there was a lot of shock, anger, fury, disbelief. I was pissed. I mean, really truly pissed.
If there is anything good about breast cancer, it’s that you will find yourself connected to a whole community of people who want to fight it as hard as you do. Those pink ribbons and cancer walks always seemed like “good causes” to me before. Now they are a very personal battle cry, and I feel an emotional bond to people who have named the same enemy.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1985 and hers had spread to four of her lymph nodes. She had a mastectomy (with lymph node removal), radiation, and chemotherapy, and my entire family had a tough, tough year.
And she and my dad are visiting me here in Washington right now.
A cancer diagnosis sucks to the outer limits of suckage. But breast cancer is highly treatable, and the outlook is especially positive when it’s caught early. So be supportive of your loved ones, but don’t forget to take care of yourselves as well. And to the extent you can – think positive!
CRANKY, I do the Race for the Cure every year. (Except in my case it’s more like the Mosey for the Cure.) I used to walk it with my mom until her health declined to where she couldn’t do it any more (health problems that are not cancer-related). Never once was I able to see her in her pick visor, crossing that finish line, without crying my eyes out.
But contributions to the Susan G. Komen foundation are money well spent. A high percentage of the money raised goes to breast cancer research and awareness – it’s not like some of those foundations where 95% of the money goes to overhead and only 5% does any good.
Cancer doesn’t have to mean death… Millions of women around the world are diagnosed, get treatment and live long happy lives. I have more than one dear friend who can back that statement up. As they are strong, brilliant women who fought this disease and won. And are now unstopable!
Use this opportunity (yes you need to change your thinking) to change your life, and live the life you’ve always wanted, because that’s exactly what your Mother will be doing when she recovers.
Spend time with her and indulge her need to live life to the fullest from this day on. You will grow from it no matter what.
For all the years and millions of dollars in research all “caught early” does is get people into the statistics sooner.
Thus, medical screening companies will point to the 2 and 5 year survival rates when trying to convince you that having this uncomfortable and diagnostically questionable test or another is absolutely necessary.
No one seems to mention that there’s barely a ripple in the 10 year and no identifiable change in longer timescales for most cancers.
“Caught early” just means you spend more of your life knowing you have cancer, knowing you may die, and possibly destroying your health and finances trying to beat mortality. It does not mean you live longer. So, rather than living a more or less normal life for years until things go unspeakably wrong and dying with a few months… getting “caught early” means you can spend those years dealing with the side-effects of chemotherapy, instead.
BUT, good luck on finding someone dedicated to this brand of Awareness™… it’s just not profitable.
**Priceguy{/B] my mom had a radical mastectomy (which means they remove the breast and lymph nodes) in 1993. She was very nervous cause both her mother and father had died from breast cancer. She didn’t want to have surgery cause of the experience with her parents, but after the doctor explaining to her how much had changed since the '50s when her mom died and even since the '70s when her dad died.
My response to her was “mom, it is only a boob”. She didn’t appreciate my response at the time, but has since said that it was the best thing I coulda said to her.
Mom took Tamoxifen afterwards until a few years ago. If your Mom’s doc put her on this medicine make sure she understands that one of the side effects of long term use is blood clots.
Mom is right now as healthy as ever at the age of 76. She and dad have been married for 59 yrs.
Well, that sucks rocks, Priceguy. I’m thinking of you and keeping your mom in my thoughts, too. Sorry for the news. If it helps at all, I"m going to visit my aunt on Sunday- she’s about 75 and had breast cancer, cervical cancer, and colon cancer. She’s cancer free now and healthy as a horse.
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