“Eve, why don’t you go running after work?” “Eve, rejoin that gym!” “Eve, let’s go out dancing!” “Eve, come visit me in Australia and we’ll climb that dingo baby rock!”
What people don’t understand is that I suffer from LBS. It has been getting worse as I drag myself through my forties, and as of yet, medical science has no cure—they can’t even alleviate the symptoms. I was going to contact Susan Sarandon or Cher about doing an LBS telethon, but that would have involved getting off the sofa.
Surely I can’t be the only one with this dreaded and socially misunderstood illness? Are there any other Dopers who also suffer from the heartbreak that is LBS?
It’s not an illness, it’s a misdiagnosed affliction! You should seek therapy under your health care plan. And besides, you don’t have to leave your couch to organize a telethon - email is wonderful, so you could marshal a few proud LBS sufferers, and you could just sit there, looking all lazy and stuff, on a Web cam, waiting for the phone to ring to support research into a cure for your affliction.
IS LBS any relation to LAS (Lazy Asshole Syndrome) because that’s what I have. If it is I’ll join you in thinking about starting a telethon or something, as long as it doesn’t involve me getting out of my Lay-Z-Boy.
Ive battled with the ugly, nap-inducing presence of LBS my whole life.
So tell me, Eve, how does an LBS sufferer manage to write and publish books? Quite impressive.
Unless, of course, LBS doesn’t present as intellectual laziness, as well…
Ah, but there’s this wonderful, wacky thing known as telecommuting. “Mind if I work at home today? My hair sucks ass. Oh yes, and I’m too lazy to move out of this chair … hello? hello?”
In response, my LBS sister, I can only point out that it is nearly noon, and I am here on the SDMB, still in my pajamas, having done nothing but watch Jackie Chan movies since I got up.
Getting wiser and more mature can be a hassle, can’t it ?
I guess you know the answer is to pay the gym membership up front for six months or a year so you have to damn well go. It’s fine, really. After the first month or so, the addiction kicks in and you’ll be a honed little bunny for evermore. Or until you or the membership expire.
Just do it. How long have you been talking yourself out of this ?
I suffer from a variant of this - Seasonal Motivation Deficiency Disorder. Come summer time I don’t want to do anything but lay by the pool, soak up the sun, get as brown as on old shoe, read Sydney Sheldon novels, and say, “Damn, is it hot.” I’m fairly industrious the other times of the year, but come the heat and humidity my motivation takes a complete vacation and leaves no forwarding address.
I’d love to make the call and support your telethon, but I just spread my towel and the water is so cool and inviting…
I’m still waiting for the perfect moment to give Mrs. Parker’s wonderful excuse as to why she hadn’t been to the opera: “I’ve been too fucking busy and vice-versa.”
I too suffer from LBS, and have noticed some disconcerting side effects:
My ass has gotten so large as to warrant a ** Wide Load ** sign pasted across its width (the accompanying back-up beeper is in transit via UPS).
Said ass has started forming indentions in both the sofa and the love seat despite repeated turning of the cushions.
Running and aerobic exercise are now out of the question for fear of my eyes being either blackened or put out by the protrusions on my chest - aka my boobs.
I fear that I must come to accept that this is my lot in life. I wish that I could muster more emotion about this, however this post has worn me out completely.
I really wanted to post commiseration here, but for some unknown reason, I’ve been unduly motivated lately - cleaning and going to the Y and generally being a productive member of society. I’m hoping it’ll pass soon - all this activitiy is wearing me out!!! I’m too old for this nonsense!
<deep sad sigh>
We could form a foundation or a PAC to lobby for our rights. Wouldn’t take much energy if we hired someone perky to run it. We’ve been too long seen as inferior by those hyper type-A energy fanatics.
The woman who wrote the NYT best seller, *Seabiscuit * suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome ( I think).
I suspect that the reason her book about a dead horse is so popular is not because it about a popular dead horse so much as it is the private telethon fundraising for her.
So’s, that is what us LBS’s have to do, dig up the dirt on a popular dead animal (RIN TIN TIN, Mr. Ed, Man O’War) that makes people long for the old days of horse racing, gambling and whatnot and write about it. It probably would be imperiative to make sure that anyone connected with said dead animal was also dead themselves, that way we can say whatever we want. Then have a reporter do a story about us and our crippling “the couch has hypnotized my ass” syndrome and how we ‘over came the odds’ to write this mesmerizing book.
It’s pity money, but it beats those annoying PBS pledge drives.
