My Neighbor is Totally Screwed

I pity the poor guy. He’s a nice fellow, we’ve had a good relationship for the 8 years I’ve lived here. He got badly whacked in his divorce, and barely saved his house. Unfortunately, it isn’t working out for him from a financial perspective, and he put his house on the market.

What makes his plight even worse is the asshat neighbors right next to him. These shitstains built a house on a vacant lot and located it very deeply, such that their driveway is over 100’ long, and they haven’t paved or stoned it. Every time it rains, a mud river flows past my neighbor and me.

To make matters worse, their kids have one aspiration in life: Professional Quad Runner. The little bastards are out there from the end of the school day until after dark running all over the front of their property, preventing growth of any vegitation to arrest a portion of the mud flow, and creating a constant din.

As I type it is Sunday, and he worked hard to get his yard in order yesterday. I can only imagine a showing.

Realtor (to possible buyers): One of the best things about this house is the rrrrrrrrRRRRNNNNNnnnnnnnn

Buyer: Say again?

Realtor: I’m sorry. This house has a lovely rumrumrumRUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

It’s a well kept home, in a peaceful wooded location, except for the neighbor from hell. Unless it is shown at 2 AM, buyers will know the noise they’d be moving into, and like I stated in the title, he’s screwed. Beyond that, I fear that anyone who would buy it with that kind of noise will lead to me being screwed double.


My idiot neighbor at the end of the block lets her 2 unruly, yapping dachshunds - unleashed - scamper, yap and crap all over everybody’s yards on the block…

I’ve talked to her about it - nothing.

Yesterday I almost ran over one of the little bastards as I turned onto my street - and that would have been awful! (I really don’t blame the dogs for their misbehavior - it’s their owner’s fault they’re out of control.) Will that near-miss get her to walk them on a leash? I dunno. Doubtful…

And then there are the bozos that gun their engines while careening down our little 1-way street… the wrong way. Maybe one of them will run over the dachshunds - but more likely, a little kid will get hurt. This place makes me nervous.

I know what you mean about reduced sale potential! Thankfully, we rent. I hope when we buy a place, we’ll have slightly more responsible (or at least responsive) neighbors…

danceswithcats, does your locale have noise ordinances? It may be worth looking into.

12hazel I’d call animal control, maybe a visit to the pound would shape her up?

Nah, she’s out there WITH the dogs - she just exercises no control over them… If AC were to show up - which in itself is doubtful, considering their pitiable funding in this town - she’d maybe get a warning.

But you raise an interesting point for danceswithcats - and I wonder if her town has something akin to an Inspectional Services dept. that could come out after a good rain and take a peek at the river o’mud. THAT might merit a ticket…

What about planting vegetation on his side of the yard? A few waist high bushes acting as a fence might help with both the noise and the mud?

Doesn’t matter if she’s there or not, 12hazel-the dogs shouldn’t leave the property. If they do, you can sic AC or the cops on her ass.

Call the County and or City where you live.

Ask for Planning/Zoning/Code Enforcement. Your neighborhood was not meant to be a race track.

Also, check to see if your neighborhood has any covenents. You should be able to do this in the County Clerk/recorders office.

Advice is appreciated, all. Remember that this is in Pennsylvania, from the Ancient word meaning no continutity or sense at all in regulations.

We’re in the middle of the woods, which is how we like it, or should I say liked it, until the mud and noise mavens came to spawn. I’ve called DER (Department of Environmental Resources) and learned why they are known by their other name (Don’t Expect Results). I guess they’re fearful of getting wet, because they won’t drive out here when the brown river is flowing.

My neighbor already has a tree line separating him from the quad facility. The fine dirt drifts downhill such that he can’t leave his windows open in the summer without his house becoming filthy. Forget foggy or misty days, then it’s a fine slime. The crud sticks to his siding.

I’m two doors away, and have to shut my windows to carry on a telephone conversation when the runners are going.

I keep trying to convince myself that this is a Zen experience, intended to teach me patience and tolerance, yet part of me wishes to act in a manner befitting a Dirty Harry movie. :smiley:

Haven’t we heard about those hellions before? Or was that someone else with a different set of Professional Quad Runners in Training?


I hear you. I also live in the woods. Or rocks really. Central Colorado.

I work for County Gov. Sometimes they can do something, but it does really depend on the zoning codes, and then, if anyone is willing to enforce them.

Be glad they didn’t set up a target shooting range.

Maybe, you should.

Skeet shooting is also a popular passtime. After all, they don’t own the air space over their house. :smiley: