My neighbor just mowed my lawn.

WTF? Why would somebody think that they can mow the lawn in front of my house without asking me if I minded?

It’s not like it needed it that badly, I do cut the stuff every other weekend (it hasn’t quite woken up yet from it’s winter dormancy). Granted, I don’t over-fertilize it to the point where it is unearthly green like the neighbor does, but it’s still not a bad lawn.

If he didn’t cut it shorter than I wanted it, I probably wouldn’t say anything. But how the fuck are you supposed to politely say “Could you please never mow my lawn again?”


Send him over to my house. I’ve moved my weeds one time and I could use another good mowing now.

Nip it quick or be upfront and tell him exactly how you want it, and then ask him if you can count on him to cut it faithfully for you.

Otherwise tell him you’d rather do the job yourself and are thinkingabout going native plantings instead of grass the wicked monoculture - ya gotta grow it and mow it and water it and then what the hell do you do with the clippings?

D’oh! “moved my weeds” s/b “mowed my weeds”.

rsa <—:wally

You should thank your neighbor. Wish I had such nice neighbors.

Also, just because… You must have a pretty sad life if you care about your damned LAWN this much.

That bastard!
Wait until he’s outside. Walk out, look around in disbelief, scream “Nooooo!” and fall to your knees, sobbing.

Or, drop a note in his letter box with explicit directions on how you want your garden tended and a chastisment on his shortcomings as a lawnmower and suggestions for next time.

Either way, not only will he not mow your lawn again, but he’ll steer clear of you when he sees you in the yard.

Cull, the point is that it’s my bloody lawn. When do you think I should start complaining? Should I wait until he sneaks up on me while I’m sleeping and cut my hair if he thinks I need a haircut? How about if he paints my house a color that he would like better?

I’m not discounting the possibility that he was trying to be nice. I just want him to fucking ask me before making changes to my property.


snicker Now that I would pay to watch.

Not much you can do now but complain. Be polite but firm and try not to get into a fist fight.

Why do you care about your lawn? Are you afraid what all the other suburbanite SUV-driving patio-grilling two-car-garage-cleaning middle aged yuppy wastes of life you live with are going to think? If that’s not it, maybe your life just doesn’t have enough hatred in it, and you’re just plodding through your life looking for people and things to hate. You have my sympathy.

I used to have a neighbor that did this. I had just married my Husband, and at 8am in the morning, when I had gotten home from work at 7:30, I could hear the whirring of the lawn mower, imagine my surprise when I realized he was mowing my lawn.
He would mow half of it, the neighbor behind it would mow the other half.
I never did get it, the neighbor next to us has stopped, but the neighbor behind us mows our hill…

We now take great pleasure in our lawn mowing neighbor, we wait until he mows his lawn, wait until the next day and mow ours.
It never fails, out he comes with his lawn mower, beer in hand.

I want your neighbour.

Can we swap?

It’s not that it’s his lawn, it’s that his personal space. If this neighbor thinks so little of violating his space in this one instance what about other instances?

Two words: adverse possession. Think about it.

Cull, the neighbor violated LV’s personal space. Perhaps he meant well, or perhaps he is an anal-retentive asshole who thinks LV doesn’t cut his yard enough. (“Well, it looked a little long to me”)

That’s not the point! What if the dude decided to clean his garage? Or paint his fucking house? It’s invading the man’s space.

Sorry, but that would piss me off. It doesn’t sound like the lawn was an overgrown eyesore. Fuck that.

There’s also the matter of someone who’s trying to keep their lawn organically, which includes maintaining it slightly taller than the suburban ideal so that it naturally shades out weeds. Thus preventing the need for chemical pesticides.

So Nextdoor Neighbor (hereafter known as NDN) comes along and mows the organically kept lawn down to the level that he considers ideal, thus exposing the crowns of the grass blades to the sun and wind, thus causing the carefully non-chemically maintained lawn to burn and brown.

There are occasionally actual reasons that someone’s lawn isn’t manicured to within an eighth-inch of a putting green.


Cull, you’re what, 16 years old?

I’ve found it’s a good rule of thumb, if you can’t keep your yap shut, to at least know what you’re dribbling about.

You don’t, it seems. Fuck off.

Sounds like your neighbor had the best intentions, albeit misplaced intentions. A simple “Thanks, but no thanks” should be all that is needed to solve the problem.

Would it be less irritating if the neighbor had shoveled the driveway?

Speaking as someone who was recently 16 years old, I kind of resent that.

Anyway, this kind of idiocy is one of the main reasons I’d rather not have a lawn. It strikes me as a large, uncomfortable object into which labour, money, and scorn from one’s neighbours is poured.

I like how you came up with an acronym for the guy, then didn’t refer to him again for the rest of the post. :stuck_out_tongue:

As for your neighbor, get up next Sunday at six AM, grab a ladder, and start cleaning out his rain gutters. You’re just “repaying” the favor!

Er, “your neighbor” should be “the neighbor in the OP,” as Jayjay’s neighbor apparently can keep his lawnmower in his own garage.
Sounds like a double-entendre. “Yeah, he just can’t keep his lawnmower in his own garage, nudge-nudge wink-wink.”