Well, perhaps my confectionary biases are showing.
you mean the costume didn’t cover them?
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Three is too young to do this. Yes, it’s my opinion, but too often I see parents pushing pre-schoolers (or is he more toddler) into doing things that is more appropriate for older kids. So, for now, her choice is just fine.
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She might change her mind two years from now when her five year old is disappointed that he missed out on all the goodies the other kids in kindergarten got. Peer pressure, baby. The next year, the six year old will hound her to go, and she’ll relent, most probably.
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Maybe you SIL didn’t have a good experience of Halloween. At first, I was excited over Halloween, and collecting the ‘loot.’ However, after a few years I realized that dressing up and physically ToTing was too much work (I’m congenitally lazy) for too little gain (I didn’t like most of the candy… I’m a chocolate person and couldn’t care less for jelly beans and Mary Janes). It’s not something I would encourage in my children. And so, perhaps you need to find out your SIL’s experience of ToTing and share your own experience of it. Not to lobby for her to change her mind, but to give her a new data point (and warn her of the future peer pressure).
Peace.
Not having any children of my own, I can’t address whether 3 is too young or not. However, when I was a kid myself, Halloween was THE holiday that even surpassed Christmas as my all time favorite. As it does to this day. It wasn’t so much for the candy (I was a pretty picky eater so most of it went in the trash anyway), but like others have said, to dress up in the neatest costume ever!! Gah, I could still spend months planning for that. Also, if I had enough money, I’d attend every single haunted house within 2 hours drive starting when they first open in October right on up through the last minute. Can you tell I still LOVE it?!!
Anyway, about her paranoia… aren’t there still hospitals that will x-ray the candy for you, free of charge, to make sure there’s nothing bad in it? (Or is that an urban legend in and of itself? I’d search snopes, but I can’t ever get anything to work for me that way. Sigh.) If so, that would take care of foreign objects. Secondly, wouldn’t only allowing pre-packaged items after careful inspection be acceptable? I mean, if there’s no holes or unwrapping, I think it’d be good to go. Of course, again, I’m not a parent.
Last of all, changing out what they’ve gotten in favor of something already purchased seems a good idea. As does pre-approved stops. I dunno know about group festivities (like at a church or mall), because a lot of times those come across, to kids anyway, as second rate or pathetic. Kind of similar to passing out toothbrushes, tracts and granola bars. Ewww! So, I suppose that would depend on the temperament of each individual child and whether or not they like the whole ‘scary’ atmosphere or just something social in general. If so, the set up with dark lights, monsters, moans and horror movies is the ticket. If not, opt for something more tame.
I was going to suggest the x-ray idea also. I know it has been done in some of the communities here. Just to make sure I wasn’t remembering incorrectly, I Googled and came up with a number of communities that are doing this, this one, for example.
Ummm… don’t you think that someone who is genuinely paranoid about urban legends of doctored ToT candy will also have irrational fears of ‘radioactive candy’ after it’s been irradiated with X-rays?
If you want to allay her fears, it would be better to offer to take a bite out of each piece of candy before handing it to her kid. I volunteer to test all the chocolate.
Peace.
I must have been the only kid allowed to eat as much candy as I wanted on Halloween night. My parents never rationed it. My brothers and I would come home, carefully sort through all our loot, construct elaborate trading deals that would make the WTO proud, and then engage in total kid gluttony.
It was just one night and it really didn’t get that bad. After one hour of constant sugar, we wouldn’t want to touch candy for at least a week.
I agree that at 3, the kid probably won’t know he’s missing anything. However, I hope more parents don’t start feeling that way. I love seeing the little ones come to my door in their costumes.