My condolences Zoe. Hope he pulls out okay.
Good lord… I am so sorry for the young man’s family and for your niece. I hope your nephew recovers and is prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
I am vehemently against drunk driving. My cousin’s fiancee was killed by a drunk driver, and a good friend killed her own son while driving drunk. And she did hard fucking time for it, and I think it was the right call by the prosecutor.
I’m not a cold-hearted temperance hag, either- I am a convicted drunk driver who has been sober for almost 18 years. A DUI conviction (and the accompanying ONE NIGHT in county) did not stop me from driving drunk, BTW. Maybe legal consequences will be your nephew’s bottom, even if they weren’t mine.
Drunk driving is intentional. The punishment should be harsh.
How awful, dear friend! I feel so badly for everyone involved. Yes, your nephew was at fault and yes, he does have legal punishment coming, but the worst punishment is that he’s going to have to live with this for the rest of his life. Here’s hoping that he pulls through and that the family and loved ones of the young man who died will eventually be able to get past this and find happiness once again.
I’m very sorry for your loss,** Zoe**, and my heart goes out for your family.
This is absolutely heart-wrenching. I offer my condolences.
I’m very sorry and sad about this.
Drunk driving is a bad thing to do, but it is at the same time understandable, at least in some ways. Like many of us, I never caused an accident anything like this, but at various times could have. Luck is one of the things that separate people who have done this from people who haven’t.
A nice fellow at work, a decent sort, told me that as a young man he had been drunk and caused an accident that killed several people without badly injuring him. This scarred his life and his outlook - and deservedly so, at least in some ways. After several years of wasted and counterproductive life, though, he turned things around and tried to conduct his life in a way that would compensate or repay for the harm he had done, or whatever you want to call it. This was a good thing to come out of a bad one. Not that it undoes his past, but still, it is a good thing. Since there is no undoing the past anyway, you could call this the happiest possible outcome. So, for your nephew, this whole thing is far from over, and it will be more or less important for the rest of his life, and, possibly, with everything else, valuable for the rest of his life.
Zoe, I am very sorry for the tragedy.
But I have to say that I hope your nephew gets his ass fried. I used to be a cop and I have pulled way too damn many people injured and dead people out of wrecks caused by impaired drivers. I have no sympathy and no mercy for people who get wasted and climb behind the wheel of a car.
The whole situation is tragic, including Zoe’s nephew. The fact that he was at fault does not diminish my sympathy for him. I think he should be punished, but I wouldn’t wish the guilt and remorse he’ll feel on anyone. I honestly don’t know how someone can go on after something like this.
Yes, and being high on crack and playing with a loaded handgun in a daycare is a bad thing to do… but at the same time, understandable.
Dear God. The OP makes me so sad.
I am a bartender, and I worry about this kind of thing constantly. I cut people off, I call them cabs, I get them safe rides home…but some people just escape me. Every day. People that never appeared drunk, people that said they called a cab and then just sneaked away to drive home…I hate it and I worry and I feel sometimes like my job sucks just for this reason, even though knock on wood I have never sent anyone to their death. It could happen in a split second though, and it’s hard to go to work sometimes, knowing that I could unwittingly cause a tragedy.
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers Zoe. Thank you for the reminder that it just takes a second. I try to remember this every day.
Zoe, I’m so sorry. I know words don’t mean a whole lot, but you’ve got the sympathy and support of the Straight Dope community.
Not to pick on you, Cisco, but there is no difference between driving drunk and driving buzzed. Driving buzzed is driving drunk. Calling it otherwise is a bullshit rationalization some people use so they don’t have to face up to their decision. I am glad that you don’t do that anymore.
I’m so sorry, Zoe. Losing anyone is terrible; losing someone to this kind of lame-brained asshole selfish stupid behaviour is worse. At least in the old days, the horse could get you home…
Someone drinking too much in your bar and driving is not your fault. You aren’t forcing them to come to your bar, you aren’t holding them down and pouring drinks down their throats; I know the law doesn’t completely agree with me on this, but anyone drinking is a legal adult, and must be held responsible for their own actions.
I’m sorry for your family’s troubles, Zoe. I hope your nephew learns his lesson, and I’m sorry that the price was so high.
Billboards and public ad campaigns aside, there is absolutely a difference between driving after having a few beers and feeling all smiley and driving when you’ve been partying with the intention of getting slammed, stumbling to the car, trying to unlock the rearview mirror, squinting to see the spinning road, etc. That’s why - in Arizona, at least - there are 4 different levels of DUI, based on blood alcohol content. You’re entitled to your opinion and I’m entitled to mine, but I think equating the two is the bullshit rationalization, not making the obvious distinction - - and the courts agree with me.
i’m so sorry. it is a horrible situation for everyone.
i can only wish strength and peace on the family and friends of all involved.
Have to wonder if being in Zoe’s position is somewhat akin to what relatives of murderers feel, or the relatives of suicides (of which I am one). I mean, here’s this person you care about who did this completely shitty criminal thing that deserves punishment, but (usually) you still care for or love this person and it hurts you to see them hurt or in pain.
It’s not inconceivable to be furious at and sorry for a person at the same time.
I sorry your and yours are going through all this, Zoe. Please accept my condolences.
I agree with Broomstick. You want to hug him and strangle him, all at the same time.
Zoe, I’m so sorry. Is your grand-nephew still in the military? You mentioned he’d done two tours in Iraq. The Army or Marines or whoever may also have a say-so in this case.
Thoughts are with you.
{{{{{Zoe}}}}}
{{{{{Zoe’s niece}}}}}
I hope your nephew recovers, but I also hope he spends some time in jail. I also hope he comes to realize that he did a very bad thing.
For anyone who thinks it’s OK to drive after they’ve been drinking because they don’t feel very drunk, please read this.
But a reliable way to avoid the latter situation is to make sure that you don’t drive after having had any alcohol to drink at all.
What a horrific thing, Zoe. I’m very sorry, for you and your family. So much pain, loss and guilt–and all of it preventable. I wish something could make this more bearable, other than time. Please consider yourself hugged. The aftermath won’t be easy for anyone but sometimes life seems to consist of just getting through the unbearable somehow. Your great nephew put his feet onto a very long, hard road. I don’t even want to think of what his sister thinks and feels right now either.
You and your family are in my thoughts.