After yet another story in the local rag about some asshole beating his wife for years, her getting restraining order after restraining order (the guy wasn’t allowed in the same city!), and him finally taking her hostage and killing her, I’ve decided that my new hobby will be killing wife beaters. Here’s my reasoning:
YOU DO NOT EVER HAVE THE RIGHT TO PHYSICALLY ABUSE YOUR SPOUSE.
That’s it. One rule. Break it, and I come after you with a high powered sniper rifle. “But OH! my father beat me and my mother and I’m a product of my environment blah blah blah…” Guess what fuckface? I don’t care. As far as I’m concerned, I’m doing the world a favor by eliminating your defective genes from the pool. Call me The Chlorinator.
It’s become evident that the law in my parts (Toronto, Ontario) is insufficient in dealing with (mostly) men who decide that the best way to resolve their differences with their mates is to turn them into punching bags.
I’m going to add child molesters and abusive parents to my list as soon as I can afford more bullets. Donations can be made to me at the following address:
Dante the Chlorinator
123 Vengeance Drive
Vigilante, Ontario
30-30
Of course, you’ll always be able to tell at 300 yards that you absolutely have the right guy. And you’ve carefully reviewed each case, weighed all the meticulously verified facts, and made an impartial judgement. And you’ll have to worry about a good backstop, those big bore bullets will blow right through a guy and the wall behind him too. It’d be pretty ironic if your shrapnel killed the person you are trying to protect. And naturally the rest of your life is a throw-away, because the cops will never stop looking for you.
Maybe you should just work them over with a baseball bat.
Good hobby, Dante. But I like the idea of working them over with a baseball bat better. While you’re breaking their bones, blackening their eyes, etc. you can assure them that you’re only doing it because you care for them, and it’s all their fault anyway for making you lose your temper.
Don’t kill them, though. We can use them in the scientific sense, i.e. would that be an effect lesson in anger management?
Never claimed to be civilized,
Veb
P.S. For the overly literal-minded, no, I’m not suggesting any such thing. But damned if it doesn’t make one FINE fantasy.
Glad to see there are so many uncivilized folk around. Of course, I view “civilization” as people who collectively protect the weakest from the feral and keep an eye on the future.
Anyone who abuses a child, in a truly just society, should be quickly and forcibly given back what they’re dishing out. Okay, violence begets violence. So why do we tolerate it against the vulnerable? Sometimes it isn’t patterned and learned behavior; it’s plain damn mean bullying evil.
That’s why I can’t call myself a “left”, “right” or anything in between, based on the definitions du jour. So I’m a trogologyte: standing by why the strong beat up the weak is wrong. The chain of violence might get broken much sooner if the victims saw truly strong “bystanders” standing up and using their strength as defenders.
Maybe, possibly, it could convey the message that “nothing is stronger than gentleness; nothing is more gentle than true strength.”
Shit, if strength can’t be used in honor and defense of those weaker, how the hell is it impressive–or lasting?
Veb, I must ask if you are pussing out on us. You don’t really believe in vigilante justice?
Dante, that is a kind offer you have made, but in a civilized society the role of avenging angel doing God’s work on Earth is properly handled by the aggrieved person’s father, brothers, and male friends. They can recognize him better. And it seems less like cold-blooded murder and more like righteous justice that way.
They should ask for a jury trial. If the case is properly handled, ie: by somebody better than a Texan public defender, they should be able to walk. As should the offender. After a fashion. And after many months of operations and physical therapy.
Then he can explain his limp to every woman he meets. He’d have to, because she would hear the real story from the aggrieved’s relatives.
Yeah, make sure you beat them, then apologize and swear you’ll never do it again, convince them it was all their irrational behaviour and you didn’t really do anything wrong, and yes it is all their fault and you are just doing what’s best for the both of you … repeat as needed.
Hope you make it over to my end (BC) before too long.
