My niece is a weirdo.

I have the cutest niece in the world, named Hailey. She’s two years old, precocious as hell, and most probably the weirdest child ever put on this planet.

When she was a baby, she used to sleep on the couch while my sister was doing her homework. (My sister is in college.) My mom used to watch reruns of the “X-Files” while sitting in the recliner. Every time the theme music would play, Hailey would wake up out of a dead sleep, look up at the tv, and stare at it for the duration of the theme song. As soon as the song went off, she’d fall right back asleep, as if nothing ever happened.

Hailey used to talk to the ceiling fan. It was her first friend. She would have conversations with the fan while laying on the floor. If we moved her from under the fan, she freaked.

I went over to my parents’ house the other night to hang out. I ended up playing with Hailey for a while so my sister could get some work done. I spent most of my time watching “Shrek” (or “Shwek”), discussing the merits of “Blues Clues” vs. “Dora the Explorer”, and trying to convince Hailey not to stick things in the VCR.

At one point, Hailey climbed up on my lap and said, “I want to watch tv with you!” So cute. We sat there and watched tv for a little while, when she turned to me and gave me a hug. Aww… Then she pushed up both of my nostrils with her little index fingers and said “HI, BOOGERS!” in a big voice, and “Hi, Hailey!” in a tiny voice.

My niece is a freak.

First post! <shriek!>

It’s true. sKerri’s niece IS a weirdo. And so is her neice’s mom! (natch) :stuck_out_tongue:

Ha! My son does that same thing as far a waking up. He often falls asleep on a blanket on the floor, meaning I then have to manuever around him until he wakes (moving him, I’ve finally accepted, is just not an option unless I want a severely pissed off baby). The boy sleeps like the dead, but if anyone messes with his bear-pillow he’ll sit straight up–immediately, eyes wide open–and either say “uh-oh” or “pszat!” (his version of “look at this”) in an adorable little ‘now what’s going on?’ voice. Nine times out of ten he then lays right back down and is unconscious again within seconds. However, I must admit that he has never tried to speak to, or for, my boogers. :slight_smile:


I’ve been tickled by this all day. Imagine an angelic looking little girl, who likes to wear dresses, who won’t wear her hair up because she likes having golden ringlets all over her head, who likes to wear ‘pretty’ bracelets, high heel shoes, and then imagine this same child having a conversation with my mucous. I swear, I’m going to start recording everything she does.

Well, I had a toilet plunger as a best friend when I was that age—apparently, I was fascinated by it when my mother brought it home. She wrote “Booklover’s Friend” down the side of the pole so it wouldn’t inadvertenly get used.

I believe she still has it stored in the laundry room…

She speaks to and for boogers. The child has the makings of a great doper don’t ya think? :smiley:

She sounds like a cutie! My niece will not be a year old until July, so while she is TheCutestThingAliveTM, I don’t yet know if she will be a weirdo.
I sure hope so, though. If she was born into my family, and she’s not weird, then it’s just proof that she is a pod person!

When she starts talking more ask her where the mothership is.

I used to carry Downey bottles everywhere because they smelled nice.

I also used to use any old object and pretend it was a doll-my favorite were nail polish bottles.

I make up songs and funny nicknames for everything (my fiancé is poopoobutt, monkeyhead, Jimmaroni, pumpkinmonkey, sweetieroo, Jimmola, sugarbum, etc.). Your niece is going to be a heck of a lot of fun. She probably won’t do well on standard tests, though, from having a skewed outlook on life and always misunderstanding the questions (if she’s anything like me).

Ask her whether God smells like rain. :slight_smile:

Yesterday she answered the phone by saying “I like Papa. He gets the monsters. Watch out for the shadows!”

That’s when I said, “hello?” and my sister finally got the phone from her.

My sister says that the pediatrician says Hailey is way ahead of where she should be with vocabulary and drawing, which is kind of cool. She takes after her dad, who is very intelligent. Thank Og she doesn’t take after my sister, who has always had an attention deficit disorder problem.

New Movie–Dances With Boogers


Hee hee hee!

As long as she doesn’t start talking with her index finger and using a deep voice while saying ‘redrum’, I’ll be ok with that.

Skerri, who really tried to get her to walk into the den doing that the other day…

Kids that age are great. But then, I think kids of most any age are great.

Lock the memories away… They grow sooo fast. :frowning: :slight_smile:

I can remember one event from when I was two years old. Just one. I went into the kitchen and opened some cupboards, pulled out some cans, sat down, and stuffed them in my shirt. It was great fun. My mom has a picture of it.

I have 17 nieces and nephews. 5 of them great-. One of them is five years old and she has been diagnosed as bi-polar. It is actually frightening what comes out of her mouth. :frowning:

On the plus side, they are all healthy and intelligent.

My first sentance was “Leave 'lone me.” I had an older foster sister who would sit on me. :eek:

Just for the record, Skerri (slight hijack)

My Uncle Pete (who has a voice box thingie) taught my nephew (who is also named Danny… he is about two or three) to say “Redrum, redrum” while moving his finger.

He says it like Uncle Pete’s voicebox.

Very disturbing if you aren’t expecting it. Funny if you know how odd our family is. Scares babysitters. :slight_smile:

The other night, my father was going to go to bed right before Hailey and my sister went home. My dad leaned over and said, “Can I have a goodnight kiss?”

Hailey said, “NO! THE KISSES ARE ALL GONE!” and slapped her hand over her mouth. Weirdo!

Oh, I forgot to relate this the first time. She fakes seizures. She does this thing, I guess it’s like a tantrum, but it is scary/funny at the same time. If you tell her to do it (by showing her), she puts her elbows by her side, sticks her little fists out, grits her teeth, and SHAKES. I know she only continues to do this because we laugh at her, but she’s freaked out many a store clerk. We went to the coffee shop my buddy runs, and the manager tried to say hello to her. She instantly clenched up and did the seizure thing. He just about had a heart attack. As soon as she finished, she started giggling.

Heaven forbid she ever have a real seizure. We’d all probably be too busy telling her to knock it off.

Can we reserve the name “Lorax” for her?

“I speak for the sneeze!”