OK, so three minutes ago I was on the toilet at work. It had been building up for a little while now and it finally got to the point where I really needed to go, lest I do the unimaginable at my desk. There was a problem though: I had nothing to read.
This is a HUGE problem. You can’t just go to the bathroom without reading material. That’s like going camping without your knife. It’s like eating food without putting ketchup on it. It just can’t be done!
So I’m searching around for the newspaper. “Damnit! It’s always on this table, why isn’t it on this table?” I ask people, they lead me on a wild goose chase all around the building. No newspaper. “Hmmm…I have a book in my car. Nah…that’s down 6 flights and out into the cold. I’m not doing that.”
Then it dawns on me. The SDMB. I search for a bit to find a nice thread that’s still one page in length but still long and interesting. I print it out (10 pages), and off to the bathroom I go.
Give me another couple of months and I’ll be making paper mache sculptures out of your posts to save for posterity.
Please tell us it wasn’t Eve’s “ladies room” pit thread from about a month ago. (My vote for the most disgusting thread ever, even worse than the "too much information thread, which was at least occasionally funny.)
Nah, no bathroom threads. And no “What underwear are you wearing” or “How do you like to have sex” type threads though I know that’s what you sick bastards thought when I mentioned I took it into the bathroom.
I skimmed through GD to find something I thought would be entertaining yet still informative. It had to be less than 50 posts but still long enough to cover my time in the bathroom. I settled on this one:
