My opinions on some SDMB members/posters

I would like to start off by apologising if any of you find this post too long or too hard to understand, because I have extremely poor english skills. If you don’t have much patience, then I recommend you skip my post.

I have only registered recently, so not many of you would recognise me. It may be true that I haven’t been here long enough to post what I am about to, but seeing what has been happening to several posters, I would like to make my own comments (and assumptions). Most of you should realise that several posters have felt the need to leave the SDMB community, either because they felt too offended by someone, or they felt that they have been treated unfairly or too harshly.

I realise that it would be possible that most of you would disagree with me, and it may also be likely that none of you will agree with me, but please don’t feel too offended if I end up having a different opinion from you.

I don’t think I should mention specific names just yet, but I understand that most of you would have at least once fallen into one of the following categories:
[ul]
[li]The attacker.[/li][li]The attacked.[/li][li]The defender of either the attacker or the attacked.[/li][li]The rest of the crowd that can’t be bothered to take sides (who probably at the same time has fun watching all the bashing and trashing).[/li][/ul]
My opinion is that:
[ul]
[li]People shouldn’t take posts or replies too personally. As this is only a MB, the only form of communication is through typing and posting. We do not have sufficient ability to accurately determine another’s intention, purpose, or even the message they want to convey. That is already difficult IRL where we have more means of communication, let alone on the Internet.[/li][li]Their intention may simply be to state their own opinions, to be sincere in understanding yours, to explain their views, to reinforce their position, to have some fun, to waste time, to make an idiot out of themselves, or even to try their hardest to irritate you. Their message may or may not be relevant, honest, true, or intentional. Whatever it may be, we cannot be too sure. But what we can be sure of is, we sometimes get it wrong.[/li][li]Sometimes the other person’s intention may be different from what you percieve it to be. Especially the case when it is on a subject in which you are particularly interested, knowledgeable, or sensitive about. Most often than not, you would feel less offended after the issue has been let to cool down, and you may even find some acceptable arguments from the other person.[/li][li]You simply do not know enough about the other poster to make a judgement as to whether they have deliberately offended you, or were simply honest in stating their opinions (which somehow managed to clash with your own views).[/li][li]I am not assuming that all the posters have good intentions, but sometimes, what you feel as offensive might not be the case if you can transform yourself to an outside party of the argument.[/li][li]Or to another extreme, what if that other person happened to be a person you loved and cared about? When you have a difference of opinions between people such as family members, you would tend to try and understand their views, and in some cases, come to accept the fact that they might be right in certain aspects overall (even if it happens to be a really small minor point that they have made). Even though you may not love/care about the other poster (who has offended you), it is true that you spend less time to evaluate whether they are truly as wrong as you think they are - than if it happened between family members etc.[/li][li]If you feel too offended (whether the other person meant it or not), you have the choice of ignoring them. It may even be that you are not on opposite sides of the argument, but because you are in the heat of the argument, you would inevitably feel that the other is always unjustified in their claims. Calm down, leave the topic for a while, and you will feel less need to be as defensive.[/li][li]At other times, it may be that the other person did in fact have a bad/stupid intention. But I feel you should not be affected by such immaturity if that was the case. Let’s suggest this happened in your workplace, or in your local neighbourhood. I doubt you would go to the extreme of taking another job or moving houses, if someone happened to offend you on a single topic. Ignoring these people is sometimes the most effective way to avoid being affected by them. What they probably want is attention, and why give it to them? I’m sure other people deserve your attention more than someone who is immature enough to try and offend you on purpose. These people are wasting their own time - but don’t let them waste yours![/li][li]It is a fact that people have different opinions. This is one fact that can never be changed. In some cases, it is very obvious who has the correct opinion, but in other cases, it is not as clear cut. If it happens to be a sensitive issue to you, I think you should just ignore the offensive comments, and continue doing what you normally do.[/li][li]You have learned to accept differences of opinions IRL, why not learn to do that here as well? Afterall, I do believe that the SDMB community should partially reflect your real life community. IRL, there are different people with different views (some good people + some bad people, some with good intentions + some with bad intentions, some who are harmful + some who are harmless etc). The same applies here.[/li][li]If you have already stated your own opinions, explained why you disagree with the other person, and have provided enough support for your claims - and that person still doesn’t understand or is still deliberately attacking you - there is no further need to waste your time on them. There is also no need to leave because of a single matter. They are only one of the many posters we have here. But they should have less influence on you than those who you have enjoyed exchanging posts with. Stay for those who you like, and ignore those who you dislike.[/li][li]You are only spending a portion of your time in here, so why let others affect you that much? At least on a MB you get the choice of whether or not to respond, of whether or not to read the offensive comments, and also of whether or not to be affected by others. IRL, you do not have as much freedom in such choices. Take advantage of what you can or can’t do here.[/li][li]If the other poster was deliberately trying to piss you off, I would definitely suggest you should not let them win over you. They hardly even know you. Why should you let them continue having the fun of participating in this MB, when you are going to sacrifice yourself? I’m sure most of you have enjoyed this MB (as much as I have).[/li][li]I haven’t been here long enough to judge correctly, but I have enjoyed most of your posts. I’m sure most people would feel pity that you have to leave us. I find that leaving the MB is unecessary. Just count, if you have more people who want you here than the people who want you to leave - that is enough reason to make you stay. Even if there was only one person who liked reading your posts, I feel that is justified enough to continue posting here as you have always done so.[/li][li]Just think of all the posters who you have created true friendships with here (actually, I haven’t really - but I’m sure you have). Sometimes, getting to know one person long enough is important. Other times, little/small/irrelevant matters should not affect you in continuing to grow your knowledge/friendship base over here.[/li][li]You should do what you want. You registered here, because you wanted to become a part of SDMB. It may be that you cannot stand a certain poster, but they have no right or ability to kick you out of here, do they?[/li][li]Final point is, suppose it is only the case where they are either deliberately offending you or accidentally offending you. Either way, you should not leave. If they are deliberately offending you - why amuse them further by leaving. On the other hand, if they only accidentally offended you - it is only a misunderstanding and not worth the fuss.[/li][/ul]
Thanx for reading such a long comment of mine. I admit this thread is extremely pointless, but since I’ve already typed all this out, I might as well post it, and let it disappear into the pile of history threads. In fact this has ended up being way longer than I intended it to be - but I have a problem with words - I don’t know how to be precise and succinct. Hopefully I will learn one day. I just reread several points, and saw myself repeating myself, and going offtrack at times. But since this is not an essay, I can’t be bothered to fix it up.

You might feel the urge to criticise what I have said, but please don’t feel offended by me- cos I mean no harm to anyone. All I think is that this MB is a truly useful and entertaining MB. It deserves to be kept this way. And everyone has the right to make use of it and to be entertained by it.

Oke, I just skimmed through my post briefly again. What i’ve said sounds really stupid. I think I’ve just made a fool out of myself. This must be my longest post ever. And I thought I would end up doing just a few paragraphs. Sorry everyone.

(^(oo)^), all I want to say is that your English skills are in no way “extremely poor.” I consider myself fluent or nearly fluent in several other languages, and I doubt I could write a post at the same level as yours in any of them. You make far less mistakes (and that’s if someone’s being really picky) than many native English speakers, so don’t knock yourself.

Hate to pick this nit, but in light of the comment:

“you make far less mistakes…” should actually be “you make far fewer mistakes…”

Oh, well, if you really want to get nit-picky about it: you should have put a space before the ellipsis point in your first quotation so that it would read “you make far less mistakes …” and you should have put another ellipsis point in the second quotation so that it would read “you make far fewer mistakes…” Ellipses at the end of the sentence don’t take a space after the last word; ellipses within a sentence do. So there.

missbunny, I am guessing (^(oo)^) is using the word english to refer to writing/composition, not the English language. The profile shows Australia as the poster’s location, and I think English is the predominate language spoken there. But I agree with your assessment, I think (^(oo)^) did a very good job of expressing his/her ideas.

I think a lot of the vet posters . . . IOW, those who knew Wally and some of the rest of us who’ve been going through hard times, are feeling more vulnerable and thus more prone to lash out.

In the same way, trolls are taking advantage of the vulnerability of some of us and we are lashing out.

I think, quite frankly, that in a few weeks things will get back to “normal” . . . at the same time, I wish all these damned trolls would just be good little boys and die.

Grrr . . .

That is a truly horrible thing to say. You left out “a lingering death involving rabid turtles, a few well placed shots with a tire iron, a blow torch to the groin, ending with a baseball bat squicking” after the word die.

He’s a newbie, Mully. Give him a few weeks with the trolls here, he’l be ranting with the rest of us.

(And I still love ya, pun. Even if you ARE a newbie.)

(^(oo)^), you are a keeper!

(^(oo)^), never apologize for your English again. In fact, you’ve proven yourself so well that you embarass me.

But who said they speak English in Oz? Haven’t you heard them talk? :wink:

As for taking posts too personally, maybe you and I should take this to the Pit. :wink:

MissBunny, are you saying we should be adding back in all of those “excess” spaces computer-style people have been saying we should leave out, like the second space after a period or a colon? Are you willing to sacrifice political correctness on the altar of clarity?!?!?

Whew! I almost thought I had lost my “One of the Least Uneloquent Furren Posters” Award then and there! Thank the Lord almighty, she’s an Aussie :smiley:

I am so glad someone finally has brought this subject up. Now I know I am definitly a newbie but I read much more thatn I post. the death of Wally even effected me and I have only been here for a month or so. But watching the reactions to the stupid little trolls on this site hurt me a lot. I just wish everyone would ignore them like the ‘little annoying younger siblings that scream at the top of their lungs while you were on the phone’ we all had when we were younger. Everyone knows that our feelings were strung tight and many of the newbies who don’t pay attention didn’t realize this. I just hope those who have left will heal emotionally and join us again. i’ll miss them

Just a little clarification: What I meant was that English is not my predominant language - in case anyone found my post too confusing.

Thx missbunny, Wanderer, Vestal Blue, and dropzone for giving me extra confidence.

That was a great post, (^(oo)^).
I just can’t help but wonder what the hell we’re supposed to call you.
Typing in that glyph of a name is a real pain in the ass, and it seems as though many of us are going to be responding to your posts often in the future.

So what’s it gonna be? Just about everyone gets their name abbreviated for one reason or another, so how are wer going to abbreviate “(^(oo)^)”? This is the only clarification I would like.
In short, is there something else I can call you, or am I and everyone else stuck with

<shift>9<shift>6<shift>9oo<shift>0<shift>6<shift>0?

Or am I missing something here? Wouldn’t be the first time, so could someone clear this up for me?
Thanks, you guys rule.

~Santi

(^(oo)^), can we call you pig face? this “(^(oo)^)” reminds me of a pig face. glad to have you aboard.

I too would respond to more of your posts, if it weren’t for that screen name. I just can’t see typing it every time I want to speak to you. Any way to shorten it or make it easier? Better yet, do you have a name?

(^(oo)^), didn’t you say it was supposed to be a pig’s face? If so, how about Orville? He’s the pig from Charlotte’s Web.

** Lexicon: ** Thank you Lexicon. Hehehe, to save you the trouble of typing all those shifts, I’ve added my name in my Sig now. And yes, you can call me Twynke if you prefer.

Thanx ** soulsling **, ** aenea **, and ** missbunny **. Guess I have a name now. I do prefer Twynke than pig face, but if you insist, it’s oke hehe.

Let’s see, should be rite this time…

So, Twynke, just making conversation here, but what is your native tongue?

So to speak.