Every time I think of something interesting to post about, a question, an opinion, anything, the voice in my head tells me it is likely to have been discussed to death (even if it is obscure).
Every time I think of some witty reply to some stupid post, or mistake in a post, or freudian slip, or unintentional pun the voice tells me that there are people here far cleverer than me, who would put my wit to shame.
Everytime I tell myself nothing is happening on the SDMB and that I should go elsewhere. I do, and find that elsewhere is eventless also.
Everytime I chance upon a thread title that I would love to post to I find that it has like 70 replies already, so anything I say has either already been said, or will go unnoticed.
Every time I do post I feel like I am doing something annoying and/or uninteresting and/or stupid. Even though I know that people who are inclined to tell someone they are annoying/stupid/boring are not worth listening to (because In my opinion a decent person would not say such things to a fellow human being) I still manage to feel - deep down- that they are right.
I always know that no-matter how diplomatic or sincere I am there will always be someone who can find a reason to criticise me or belittle me (even if sometimes they do not realize they are doing it)
What, if anything, am I doing wrong?
(btw I am not actually this melodramatic. I like to slightly over-express the situation for effect. It’s not like the SDMB makes me want to commit suicide. It is just a mildly depressing addiction)
Notice, everyone, that I did not post this in the pit. I would like it to stay that way.
(but we don’t always get what we want) sniglet999 - “He thought too much” will be on my gravestone.
I kinda sorta agree. It’s because you don’t have an angle to work. I’ve figured out that to be popular/well-liked or even known here, you have to have a gimmick.
I’m not going to name names but most people will know who I’m talking about. You have to:
-Be extremely smart and have something meaningful to contribute to every thread you come across.
-Be extremely witty and have something funny to contribute to every thread you come across.
-Be extremely nice and have something positive to contribute to every thread you come across.
or
-Be a dick, but be clever/incogweasely enough to get away with it.
I’m not really any of these things, but I get by. I tend to read about 20 threads for every 1 I post to anyway so I still consider myself a bit of a lurker :).
While this is true, great debates aren’t great because they’re easily resolved. Several issues come up all the time, and I think most of the time they are interesting to keep going over. But I might be a minority opinion on that, I know some tend to pull the “it’s been done” schtick to my dismay.
I agree here! I consider myself to be kind of funny in person, but I can’t say anythign that even holds a candle to most dopers. Oh well.
I doubt it would go unnoticed. “No one responded” doesn’t mean “no one cares”. In my time here I have received an email or three that indicated they appreciated some of what I’ve said on some topic or another (one that comes to mind specifically is one on zoophilia, but let’s not get into that now). But a lot of times no one ever says anything. I think I tend to go on tangents a lot, though, so that could be part of it.
Can’t help you with that one. I do, too, sometimes, but you live and learn I guess.
Maybe it is your tone? Don’t I remember you starting your tenure here with self-loathing in like every thread, making a point and then down-playing it with “maybe I’m just an idiot” or something? I’m sorry if it was someone else, my memory is not often what it could be and to tell the truth I try to not remember things about posters and instead stick to what they say (not who said it), but if it is that might have something to do with it.
We’re all different people here. I don’t see a good reason to think you don’t fit.
We can’t all be popular. That’s for sure. A lot of amazing people here for the other thousand(s) of us to get all that much notice.
Ya know, some things just aren’t worth fretting about. If you want to say something, say it. If someone takes it wrong, explain or apologize. If no one takes notice of what you say, well, what are ya gonna do?
I know (believe me I know) that it is possible for a person to have an attitude or tone that is disliked and at the same time be completely oblivious to this fact.
So maybe it is possible that I am one of those poeple.
No, it was probably me. I started under the name lobley (my real last name). “He loathed himself” would be written on my grave if “He thought too much” wasn’t.
I am pleasantly surprised at the replies I have got so far. I cynically expected ‘get over yourself’ type replies. Maybe it is my current level of alcoholic intoxication, or maybe not, but I love you guys <hic>.
And on the subject of intoxication - it may seem, to anyone that pays attention, that I often post to the SDMB whilst drunk. This is true, but not because I drink often. It is because I am far more likely to post if I am drunk. hence the high ratio of drunken posts to sober posts.
That said, I am now going to drink that little bit more that is required to activate the knowledge that anything I post hasn’t the remotest chance in hell of being worthwhile or interesting.
I find I have major ups and downs too when it comes to the SDMB and other boards that have sprung off, started and run by Dopers.
Here are the lessons I’ve learned in 2 years, Lobsang:
I’m learning to take things one day at a time.
I’m learning that “This is just a messageboard” is a darn good mantra.
I’m learning that the main reason I’m here is to try to help contribute to the search for knowledge, and now and then offer a hug or a kind word because you’re good folks, here. And I appreciate you all, and your company.
I’m not here to be popular, I’m not here to be part of a clique. I’m here, at the end of the day, to have fun with a bunch of smart, gifted, talented folk I’d have no other chance of interacting with.
As FairyChatMom said, don’t sweat th’ small stuff, hard as that may seem right now. You’ll either level out, or you’ll leave, and neither option is really a negative one in the long run.
Peace to you, Lobsang. I like your photos in your website, BTW.
And if you think those pictures are good (I have a sneaking Suspicion you said that just to cheer me up) then you aint seen nothing yet. Most of those are taken in in the town that I live in.
I have only taken pictures at the places that I happen to have been to with relatives. As soon as I get a car (or a bike and the will to burn off my excess fat) I will be able to go to the places that really show this little island off.
There was one place I went to (named Cregneash), which when I got there - I was metaphorically kicking myself for not taking my camera. The place was magical.
Aw, Lobsang – I ain’t tryin’ to cheer you up by saying I like your photos! I truly do – I’m a big fan of shots from Ireland, Britain, and the Isle of Man. And yours are cool. When you can, show us some more, okay?
Three cheers for ya, Lobsang. I’ve often felt as awkward getting to know the boards as you say. Most particularly I posted a positively juvenile thing in the Pit. I’m not gonna point out that link, 'cause maybe it will go un-noticed.
I’m fixing to make a fire in the fireplace, and I will drink a toast to you dear Lobsang!
Lobsang, I have not been registered very long. But, I have kept an eye on the Straight Dope and the message boards for a couple of years now. I read posts that inspired me to respond and I felt the desire to do an original post once in awhile but I still haven’t ventured into an OP. During these years I have noticed one thing in particular, the members of this board tend to ebb and flow. A poster may come across as a particularly witty, insightful, sickenly sweet or acidic poster one month and then be passe the next month. There are posters here who have made multiple dramatic “I am the martyr” exits and they are still here and still picking the fights that made them exit in tears before. There are posters here who are very intelligent in some fields and other posters that are very intelligent in other fields. I don’t think any poster here is very intelligent in all fields, all the time, if there is then why aren’t they answering all the problems of this world? Live and let live, if someone disagrees with you it doesn’t mean you are wrong, it merely means they have a different opinion.
You are being far too critical of us. We are not pedantic pains in the butt who just look for errors. We are supportive and loving people who are here to help.
(by the way, that last use of “…far cleverer than me,…” should have read “…far clever than I,…”
I agree here! I consider myself to be kind of funny in person, but I can’t say anythign that even holds a candle to most dopers. Oh well.
