My penis fell asleep

[Cat_Whisperer]

You guys are all missing the point of this whole thread, which is this:

@KGS

<snip> I snuggled up to enjoy a documentary on the history of traffic safety films, <snip>

Either that or the history of The Police. It could go either way at this point.

[LuckiestGuy]

So let me understand this. If your penis goes to sleep, do you have to be careful nothing (wink wink) happens when you shake it and rub it to wake it up…

OR

Do you consider something happening a benefit to the whole situation?

Either way

How do you convince your other half you were only trying to wake it up when they walk in and catch you in the act?

This thread has brough up far too many questions, I think.

My Blog
Don’t laugh so hard, it may be funny but it’s also my life

Lucky

[DMark]

Peter’s piper picked a nap for pooped out peckers
If piper’s peter pinkled pee in passing
How much pee would Peter’s pecker pass?

[Cervaise]

"Dear Penthouse:

@QuickSilver

I’m a male with a crotch, an elbow and a couch and

you’re not going to believe what happened to my penis…"

[Uvula_Donor]

The best part about my penis falling asleep in the afternoon is that it’s up all night!

[betenoir]

@Shirley Ujest

It is really Richard Johnson and a Load of Bollocks.

Never mind that! What about the pistols (at sunrise)?

Anyway, KGS, I first read your title as “My Penis Fell Off”. So consider that things could be worse.

[HelloKitty]

The whole time I was reading this thread (and trying to conceal my giggles) the song Detachable Penis was running thru my music brain.

[ouryL]

@KGS

Bought a new couch today, so I spent quite awhile experimenting with potential ass-grooves and molding my body into the most comfortable positions. I dunno, maybe it was the booze and the weed talking (or maybe not talking enough) but as I snuggled up to enjoy a documentary on the history of traffic safety films, I failed to notice that a good deal of my upper body weight was being supported by my elbow, which was in turn pinned against my crotch.

Eventually I sat up and, as we males need to do every few hours, began to “adjust myself in a manly fashion”, and suddenly realized – Hey! Whose cock and balls are these in my pants? I touch them, but I don’t feel myself being touched!

Yup. Mr. Happy and his two faithful cohorts were numb to the world, cold and limp as gooseflesh. For a split second I considered performing The Stranger, until I realized I had gotten it backwards. Then…the pins and needles began. Oh, ow. Ow. Owie owie OW OW OW!!! You know how it is when the blood begins to flow back into a hand or foot that has fallen asleep? Now imagine that feeling in a body part which is designed to intensify sensation…especially as it is filling with blood. Ow. Ow ow.

Had to walk around a bit until everything went back to a sense of normalcy. I’m pleased to announce that The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel is doing fine, but I don’t believe he’ll be performing any push-ups and hoop-jumps for a little while, at least for tonight.

I think your little buddy needs a good massage.

[ouryL]

@Revtim

This happened to me all the time when I used to exercise on a stationary bike. Not the best feeling in the world.

A top urologist said that this(constant pressure on the groin while bike riding) can result in impotence in later years! :eek: :eek: :eek:

[ouryL]

@Trunk

All I can imagine is that he was doing the breakdance handspin on his new couch.

Breakdancing can result in testicular torsion ! :eek: :eek: :eek:

[pravnik]

I can help. Put your penis up close to the monitor. Okay, ready?
WAKE UP PENIS! WAKE UP PENIS! WAKE UP!

[ouryL]

@DMark

Peter’s piper picked a nap for pooped out peckers
If piper’s peter pinkled pee in passing
How much pee would Peter’s pecker pass?

BTW - Did you have to pee before your peepee woke up?
I know if my pecker ain’t awake in the morning, I’m liable to pee on my toes rather than the toilet tank.

[Ruckinge]

@KGS

Yup. Mr. Happy and his two faithful cohorts were numb to the world, cold and limp as gooseflesh. For a split second I considered performing The Stranger, until I realized I had gotten it backwards. Then…the pins and needles began.

That’s good enough thank you.

Nice.

[Ellen_Cherry]

@KGS

<snip> sorry
Then…the pins and needles began. Oh, ow. Ow. Owie owie OW OW OW!!! You know how it is when the blood begins to flow back into a hand or foot that has fallen asleep? Now imagine that feeling in a body part which is designed to intensify sensation…especially as it is filling with blood. Ow. Ow ow.

Had to walk around a bit until everything went back to a sense of normalcy. I’m pleased to announce that The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel is doing fine, but I don’t believe he’ll be performing any push-ups and hoop-jumps for a little while, at least for tonight.

Maybe I’ve picked the wrong thread to Fight Ignorance in … but when something “falls asleep” it is the NERVE that is being pinched, squeezed or otherwise imparied, not the blood flow. I mean, if your blood flow is cut off, the tissue will die! It’s not the blood returning to your veins that causes pins and needles, it’s the feeling coming back into the nerve!

Citie poo

[DogMom]

@lieu

This is why I’d never buy a used couch.

For some reason, my brain kept seeing this as “This is why I’d never buy a used crotch”.
Nevermind me…

[lieu]

@Ellen Cherry

… but when something “falls asleep” it is the NERVE that is being pinched, squeezed or otherwise imparied, not the blood flow. <snip> It’s not the blood returning to your veins that causes pins and needles, it’s the feeling coming back into the nerve!

It’s not every day that one get’s to hear Ellen Cherry talking about the nerve of someone’s penis.

[Ellen_Cherry]

Well, lieu … :dubious:

Wait a minute … :eek:

Good heavens :smack:

Lawsy mercy :o

You goob.

[Doctor_Jackson]

I don’t know for sure if my penis has ever fallen asleep, but it has been known to reach over and slap the snooze button in the morning.

[sub]Remind me to never again use the phrases “my penis” and “has been” in the same sentance.[/sub]

[Chefguy]

Mine used to fall asleep once in awhile. Now it just seems to be in a coma most of the time.

[KGS]

@Ruckinge

That’s good enough thank you.

Nice.

Heheh…I was waiting for someone to notice that!