I’ll have competition, of course.
David Reese, an artisanal pencil sharpener, was among those who gathered to see the finished work on Saturday.
Reese’s problem is that he doesn’t know marketing. I checked and ArtisanalPencilSharpener.com is for sale at GoDaddy for a penny. I’ll grab it and then all the glory will be mine.
If David Rees is the same David as your David Reese, he is not so bad at marketeering, he got me to buy his book:
You may find some tips for your retirement there.
You may also get the website ZenAndTheArtOfPencilSharpening(dot)com for a song.
Yeah? How good can he be at marketing if the newspaper got his name wrong, huh?
Now that you mention it, I have the book myself.
Note to self: plot for mystery novel. Use extremely pointy pencil. Then sharpen it until all evidence of blood is erased. Put it back into collection. Maybe name victim Ravid Meese.
Would you settle for becoming an anal pencil sharpener?
I wouldn’t be worried about the artisanal competition. It’s Big Pencil you have to worry about. I’ve heard that if they think you’re a threat to their revenues, they won’t even bother with litigation. They’ll fill you full of lead.
/pedant: Graphite.
Don’t mess up my thread with your gra-phee-tee.
Ruck off discourse and take your stupid character rules with you.
IIRC, you could send him your pencil and he would sharpen it and return it to you with all the shavings.
Was. If you want it send me a PM and we can negotiate.
This seemed to be everyone’s favorite cartoon in that classic, “101 Uses For A Dead Cat.”
They’ll get away with it too. I’ve heard these people never go to the pen.
About 10 years ago my wife gave me a Swingline hand crank pencil sharpener for Christmas. I returned it, it sharpens off center. I then bought an X-acto Ranger from Amazon. It will not give you a sharp point. It was returned. I found a Wescott at a garage sale for $2. It works okay but it relies on a suction cup for stability. It broke when I tried to permanently mount it. That leaves me with my metal Baumgarten’s 2000 sharpener. I found it years ago in a desk drawer at work and have been using it since. It does a fine job sharpening standard pencils.
No one has brought up pencils yet. All I use are Ticonderoga standard #2’s or Tennessee Reds. If I’m feeling a bit frisky, I’ll break out a Ticonderoga triangular.
I have minutiae re: pencil sharpening!
As more and more engineering drawings are done with CADD, pen and ink/pencil drafting is becoming a lost art!
Engineering drawings are done with different line widths. This is achieved with the hardness of the pencil lead. You truly haven’t lived until you’ve tried to draw with a 12H pencil!
A special pencil sharpener is used on engineering pencils. It removes the wood from a length of the graphite. Then you take your odd pencil to a second sharpener which puts a needle-like point on the lead. Guaranteed to tear paper, jab fingers, and pop off the point as soon as you put minimal pressure on the pencil!
These engineering pencils are perfect as your proposed murder weapon. Aim for an artery, but be careful and don’t break the fine point off inside the victim. Coroners delight in looking for oddities like that!
~VOW
Get yourself a Jupiter 2, if you can find it!
I use a literally old-school Boston Champion.
I buy books of New York Times Sunday crosswords, but I know better to start them in pen. A perfectly sharpened pencil is just right.
I believe that a 5H Caran d’Ache is sufficient. 12H, of course, is even better.
(Minutiae, huh? 
)
That’s an apropos name for a murder weapon. Assuming you want them to suffer.
I was going to suggest someone could make a lot of money selling a novelty pencil sharpener like that, but of course someone already is:
https://www.amazon.com/Meowing-Pencil-Sharpener-Novelty-Gadget/dp/B003N4UWJE
Now pronounce it in