My review of Identity Thief. (Gawd please! Make it stop!)

Probably a thread on this already, but thanks to the sucky search system on these boards I couldn’t find it.

Wife was whining that she wanted to see Identity Thief. I had no interest in that train wreck whatsoever. It didn’t look funny and the reviews were awful.

But when you’re locked in the dance of death called marriage, you pick your battles. So we rented the DVD yesterday.

Is this what passes for comedy now days? It was excruciatingly unfunny! And I know that being a cop my outlook on movie cops is skewed, but you all know that in real-life the police don’t blow you off like that when you’re a victim of this shit, right?

I wanted to reach into my TV and choke the life out of that c*nt! I’m highly suspect of anyone who was laughing at any of this or any of her antics. I kept saying “this is supposed to be a comedy. Whens the funny part begin? Whens the funny part? Whens the funny part?”

My wife made no comment or reply to my comments. Know why? C’mon, guess!
That’s right:


What would have redeemed this pig slop is if at the very end, instead of the sickly sweet prison visit scene Jason Bateman would have faced the screen and said “Folks, if you didn’t find any of this funny, it’s because identity theft isn’t funny. It ruins lives and the dirt bags who commit such crimes should suffer in ways forbidden by the 8th Amendment. Good night”

But he didn’t.

If you haven’t seen Identity Thief, go rent it tonight. YTF should I be the only one to suffer?

Yep. It had a couple of funny scenes and a couple of funny lines but overall was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life. I had to “suspend my disbelief” far too much to get through it. The whole premise was stupid, the writing was terrible, the acting was terrible, and Jason Bateman looked like he just wanted to get out of the whole thing but couldn’t because he already signed the contract. Horrible movie and I wanted my two hours back.

I thought it was hilarious.

Sure the plot was nonsensical but it’s a comedy, an odd couple road trip movie.

If she was the one that wanted to watch it, and fell asleep halfway through, why’d you keep watching it? You could’ve shut it off, waited until she woke up and said “you fell asleep 5 minutes before the end of the movie. You loved it and I hated it.” :stuck_out_tongue:

No, she would have asked me a zillion questions about what happened. And then got P.O.'d when she found out I made stuff up!

Besides, she wanted to see it, she had to suffer too!

Wife wanted to see it, we walked out halfway. I thought the Melissa McCarthy character might be kind of impish, but she was just violent and unbalanced. If they had turned that up a notch and cast Kathy Bates, it would have made a good black comedy.

It was unspeakable. No charm, no sense of fun. We turned it off halfway through.

I watched it the other night. It’s typical of most comedies lately; a couple of chuckles but the rest of it was blah.