Not to be mean to him, but my roommate smells. He takes showers only every few days, he has a small hill of laundry, and he doesn’t care. People can smell our room from outside in the hall and have complained.
He knows there is a problem… Nobody in my hall is especially discrete in letting him know he is the source of the smell.
What should I do? I can’t keep on going spraying lysol and Febreeze on his stuff while he’s not around.
You should be up front with him and tell him that he needs to change his habits, or find somewhere else to live. Maybe you can also be less discreet about spraying his stuff to reinforce your concerns about the odor and cleanliness of the apratment.
Spray it when he IS around.
“Pheee-eeew! B.O. much, buddy? Jesus, it smells like pig slaughterhouse in here.” PSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH
Toss his stinky clothes out the window.
If you’ve already complained to the RA, and they’ve basically left you to your own devices, then that’s a good one - it gets rid of the source, and sends a message.
Spray him with Febreeze.
Get those solid air fresheners – you know, the gel thingies with the pop up cover – and surround his bed with them.
Apply for a transfer with Campus Housing. Tell them your roommate’s hygenic habits are intolerable. You have a valid case for a room reassignment. You should at least be able to get a reassignment by the start of the next term.
Oh, and the proper word is “discreet.” Discrete is a homonym meaning, basically, “occurring in indivisible clumps.”
I’ve only sprayed the room a few times, and only when he is going to be away for a while so that I don’t insult him.
And I have been upfront with him… actually he was upfront with me.
A few weeks ago, soon after I realized how “different” the room was smelling since he moved in (he moved into the dorm later instead of staying at home) he came to me and said “I think our room smells a little bit, do you have anything under your bed or something?”
Shocked, I replied no.
Not long after people began to complain about his smell and he mentioned to me that he knew it was him and he’d “work on it.”
Nothing has happened. At all.
Having skimped on showers for a few days, and looking at the large pile of laundrey nearby. I began to grow very concerned that you might be MY roommate. But then you said something about “outside in the hall” and since I live in an outward facing apartment, I could breathe a sigh of relief.
Maybe the roommate’s laundry pile is an “indivisible clump”. Ick.
Put a bar of soap in a pillowcase and beat him with it in the middle of the night. Better yet, get all the members of your floor to do it, ala “Full Metal Jacket”. It should send the message.
Ok, fine, I’m not actually condoning violence…
See your RA pronto!
Thanks, Bughunter, I am terrible with spelng.
And I’ve only thrown his stuff out once… There were a couple of pairs of, well, streaked boxers. I kicked them into the rarely used study lounge across the hall, there’s no way in hell I’ll sit in my room looking at tighty brownies on the floor.
They later showed up in our trashcan after he came back. I told him there was no fu*king way I’d step over that whenever I went through the door.
There have been a few other problems, namely, he gave out our door combo to his friends (sucks when I’m reading a book and SOMEONE ELSE BESIDES ME OR MY ROOMMATE OPENS MY DOOR.
Yesterday this kid who I’ve seen hanging around him stuck his head in asking if my roommate is around. I told his friend if he ever did that again the campus police would be called.
I want to keep my room, if possible, although I am not allowed to kick anyone out. If I want to get rid of my roommate I have to leave myself. I want to see if there is a way possible for me to not leave my room and fix this problem.
Do see your RA as folks here have suggested. If he’s the problem, i.e. poor hygiene, giving out your room combination, leaving poopy underwear on the floor (yuck, e. coli hazard!) why are you automatically the one who has to leave?
Put a bar of soap and a small container of laundry detergent on his bed.
Of course, check your ducts in the room as well. Maybe a previous occupant of your room left a parting gift.
It sounds like you’re in a college dorm. Is there any way you can appeal to the housing authority for a solution? Tell them that between a four-cat litter box and your roommate, you’ll take the litter box every time. Maybe the roommate can be discretely moved, perhaps to a single room.
Failing that, are there any rule violations that he could be called on?
I think you talk to the Resident Dorm Advisor?
Could be at home he just has someone to all the cleaning for him, like say, his mother, so no one taught him how to do it.
Hire for him, a maid.
Well, I would hope they would move him in one indivisible clump.
How much teaching does it take to know you shouldn’t leave dirty drawers on the floor?
If other people can smell your room, clayton, you might ask them to complain to the resident advisor too. They might be more willing to act if multiple people are noticing the funk, rather than just one person.
It’s time for more drastic measures. First, talk to the RA. If that doesn’t help, you have to sit down with the roommate and tell him he’s making you miserable. Be direct – he needs to take regular showers and do his laundry. If you can get him to agree to that, when he stops doing it, you need to hassle him. Don’t let him go to bed without showering when he really stinks, and bag up his laundry and put it outside when it stinks.
You’re probably paying a lot for your dorm room, and you shouldn’t have to live in a stinky room.
Silly me, “discreet” and “discrete” are homophones.
Serves me right for being pedantic.
When I was a freshman in college a friend of mine on my floor had the dirtiest roommate ever. He would leave trash, dirty clothes, whatever all over the floor. And we would someone manage to bring in dirt, too. Not quite sure how. He also had a cup he used to spit out his used mouthwash in, which would not get dumped until it was full. And he, of course, had odor issues. He was an asshole, too. My friend never did anything about it. This guy asked my friend to move out after first semester. Which I thought was funny because he hated everyone on the floor. Aside from making your living situation more tense, by telling your roommate he smells and such, the only real option you have is for one of you to move out. Do you think he would move out if you asked him?
I went pot luck my freshman year, and got stuck with a roommate I did not particularly care for. He was nice enough and all, but I just had enough. He ate at mcdonalds at least once a day, usually twice, and he would leave the bags on floor until I dumped them. The smell would make me nauseous. I still can’t eat at Mcdonalds. And I have never met someone who spent more time on their computer. Everyday he would spend like 14 hours on his computer, even days he had class. He was a Mcdonalds and cheeto eating machine. And he was also an honors student. I had a little fun during the second semester and unplugged his ethernet connection. It was out for a week. Good times.
Anywho, so I moved out after the first semester with another guy on my floor. It was kind of awkward telling him and all, but it was a good move. When I told him he looked like I just kicked his grandma. I know it would be difficult moving to a new floor or building, but living with someone you can stand is just additional stress you don’t need.
All I can really do is echo the previous statements.
You should talk to both your roommate and the Resident Assistant. With the roommate, you’ll have to be assertive and flat out tell him that this is a serious problem. Let him know exactly how you feel and what you’d like to see done. You’ll be the best to judge what sort of tone and force to use when discussing this with him based on your previous talks with him. As for your Resident Assistant, let him know about the problem and what you’ve done so far to approach it. His reaction will be anywhere from not really caring and not really doing anything to having a roommate mediation.
As someone who once worked in the dorms, you’ll probably need to see the Hall Director/Head Resident/Senior RA/Area Coordinator/Whatever the RA Supervisor is called where you are. A lot of RA’s I worked with hated doing roommate mediations or getting involved in roommate disputes and would either ignore the situation or stall for a very long time. If you feel that things are moving quick enough, start going up the authority ladder. There’s no excuse for you to have to live in such conditions.
Your roommate is more than likely breaking quite a few housing rules. At my school, handing out your room key to a friend was grounds for a serious shitstorm. In essence, that’s what your roommate has done by giving out the lock combination (actually, it more like copying the key and passing it out). That’s a big security issue, and he should be busted for that. He may know the people, but you sure don’t. You have your belongings and your own safety to worry about over his convenience over not having to answer the door.
In addition, your roommate is more than likely breaking some health and hygiene standards. His lack of showering may be outside the scope, but his clothing habits probably aren’t. Feces-stained undergarments and clothing that reeks of stinky body odor would probably constitute a health hazard depending on the rules your housing set up. This also brings up the point. Doesn’t your RA do regular health and safety inspections? If you haven’t brought the subject up with him (based on assumptions in the OP), shouldn’t he have noticed by now (if not the hallway stench?).
And, now a bit of bad news. From my own experiences and from talking with other RA’s (yes, we/they have conventions and conferences), it’s pretty much standard that the roommate who brings up the complaint and pushes for action to be taken will be the one moved out of the room. Unless the housing authorities decide what your roommate’s doing is a breach of contract and kick him out for it, it’s likely that you’d be the one moved. That how I’ve seen it happen, and your college may do something completely different.
Good luck. I hope everything turns out for the best.
By discreetly I meant in a way that would spare him the embarrassment, like being told he was one of a lucky few who were being given private rooms.