How about cab driver? Think of all the wacky fares you can encounter! Endless potential material! And you could have this loud-mouth boss named Louie and a weird mechanic named Latka and…
Nah, it’s been done…
Equipment Manager for the Cardinals?
After all, my imaginary job is equipment manager/towel girl for the WWE. “Here’s your folding chair, Mr Van Dam. Will you be needing a massage after your match?”
How about Karma assignment - making sure everyone gets whats coming to them 
I disagree. I’ve not seen you IRL but I’ve seen pics. You would make a great international jewel thief.
Further job possiblities:
Mule for the Colombian drug trade. It could be fun for lots of drama but these jobs only last so long and usually end badly.
Designer/inspector/tester/model? for a sex toy manufacturer. You could have great dialogue like You call this a dildo? It’s crap! The veins are totally unbelieveable and it needs more of a curve or something. And the head! Now that’s just pitiful. How are you going to impress anyone with that?
Sports personality manager (like Arli$$) It worked for Robert Wuhl.
Ferret herding is overrated. Sure, it sounds easy enough, but they’re really fast on those short legs, and can squeeze through holes not much bigger than a paper towel tube. On top of that, they have the energy level and attention span of hyperactive two-year-olds after they’ve gotten into some espresso milkshakes.
(And no, I don’t vanity search, I just thought I’d check out the thread. )
Bounty hunter?
Jedi Knight?
Bikini wax technician
Cult Leader
Masseur (sp)
I’d like to be the angst filled nephew who is into punk rock and staying in his room. Perhaps a few weeks from now we could have some sort of climactic event involving me and my ever degenerating life.
I’ve always wanted to be able to say I was once married to a con-man.
By the way, are we divorced?
Third Urak-hai from the left, second row.
OMG! It’s my long-lost (and uber-sexy) virtual wife who I thought was lost to me forever after she disapeared during that terrible mudslide in Guatamala! (Or at least that’s what I tell people) Where have you been?
Let’s get a room and get, er, “reacquainted” 
So far the leading job possibilities are bounty hunter, importer/exporter, and cult leader. I’m leaning heavily towards cult leader, as that would help satisfy my gigantic ego and I’ve already declared a holidays for my balls (long time ago, I’ll look up the link later if anyone’s curious).
I have an ex-GF (Persephone) and an angst-ridden punk rocker nephew (Mastema) who never leaves his room. (You know what I think he’s doing in his room all the time, don’t you? The same thing I did alone in my room all time when I was an angst-filled teen. But that’s ok, Mastema, it’s natural. Everyone does it.)
Ok, the more I think on it, the more I like Cult Leader.
So that’s my new career. Except of course, I can’t be a Cult Leader without a Cult. Which means I need Cult Followers. And I guess I need to come up with something for the Cult followers to follow. Some sort of Central Theme or Belief or Something.
So… I will be the leader of the cult known as “The Community of Ultimate Life Teachings” or The C.U.L.T. for short. Follow me and learn all the teachings of Ultimate Life!
[sub]Now I just need a cool Cult Leader Title…[/sub]
Official High Scraper of the Beds.
Officer in Charge of Making the Cheese.
Cecil Adams.
Who knows. Maybe they’re hiring!
[nitpick] James Bond always worked for Universal Exports so technically importer/exporter is the James Bond of the 20th century too.[/nitpick]
Lessee… names for the Glorious C.U.L.T. leader:
Exhaulted Frogness on High
Grand Poobah of the Boom-Boom
The Great Crunchizzle Frogizzle f’shizzle
I’ll also need assistants in running a cult. Applications now being accepting for the following positions (post resumes below, no previous cult experience necessary WILL TRAIN!):
Number 2
Brother/Sister in Charge of Mopping
Brother/Sister in Charge of Ritual Shaving of the Genitals
Public Relations Director
What other offices does a cult need?
I get Brother In Charge Of Ritual Shaving of Female Genitals.
How’s your health plan?
Hang on there, Tex, I haven’t seen a resume yet! And I guess we should split the responsibilities of shaving Male and Female Genitals.
And the health plan is basically “Try Not to Get Sick” This plan is aided by the fact that we will all sleep in oxygen tents. The dental plan is that each member of The C.U.L.T. (after completion of handing over all material goods and the Ritualistic Shaving) will receive their own tooth brush.
Imthefroggodribbit
And I believe that may be my new Official Title! Just for that, Little Nemo gets the office of his/her choosing.
Crunchy, I don’t give a shit what you do/become, as long as you figure out how to quit stinking while you do it.
Although I haven’t seen your resume, I don’t think you have the credentials to be a cult leader. Dude, admit it, mass murders via poison drinks are not your style. (just one Toad’s opinion.)
However, I do think you have found your true calling. You are already a 10th degree Imagineer.