I don’t even know if I can compose this or not. I’m so beyond pissed right now, but I need to fucking vent. And vent I shall.
The background: My sister is recently 18. She has a 15 month old son. She and her son live here, with my mother, myself, and my other sister. Her baby daddy is in jail for the next 5 years for distribution and sale of pot to a cop.
My sister has no job. She gets up around noon, gets online, and vegetates. Her baby is taken care of by either myself (days when I’m off), my mother (in the evenings), or my other sister (days when she’s off – sometimes she takes him to the daycare where she works). My sister has a laundry list of guys come by every now and then, most of whom are… well, trash. She hangs out with the wrong crowd, basically.
She’s also bipolar, did I mention that? Yeah, she’s bipolar. She has had her life handed to her on a silver platter. She’ll ask for money to go out and do things. My mother foots the bills for daycare, food, diapers, everything the baby needs. And provides my sister free room and board, to boot. Essentially, she has to do nothing.
Oh, and she smokes pot. In front of her kid sometimes. I blame myself for letting her get away with it, but when I see it, I take the kid and take care of him.
Anyway, today, she got into one of her bipolar moods. Apparently, my mother decreed that her current trash FOTW is no longer allowed over because he’s a disrespectful ass. (He is.) Her house, her rules. Not good enough for my sister. No, apparently this is entirely unacceptable to my sister, despite having sheltered herself away for the past week being sick (my mother took off work for 3 days to carry her to the ER – she had strep, and to take care of her kid while she was sick). My other sister took care of the kid today, taking him to daycare (paid for by my mom, of course), and putting him to bed before my trashy sister got home. Well, when she got home, the shit hit the fan as she proceeded to curse my mother for making rules about her own home, and deciding she was done, and leaving.
Not the first time she’s done this. Last time, she trapsed off for three days to parts unknown and just disappeared. We later found out she had been in some motel with random guys. Still pissed, she called my mother and told her she was bringing the police over (wtf?) to get her baby. Mother is highly upset by this. I figure, whatever, she’s in her mood, she’ll be back tomorrow.
No, 30 minutes later, my sister, her friend, and a police officer show up. The cop says that unfortunately because she’s the birth mother, she has the right to take the kid. We knew this. No one tried to stop her from doing so, despite making suggestions that she think it through. I make some offhand comment about her drug use, and the cop says “you know, I wasn’t going to accuse anyone, but I did smell pot when I came in here.”
Mother flips. She has no idea what pot smells like, or that my sister was involved with it. Cop asks if he can search my sister and her vehicle before she takes the kid. He does, finds nothing (she’s not one to keep pot very long…) All the while, the baby has been woken and thrown in the back of her car to sit in the cold for 20 minutes. She admits to the cop that she occasionally gets high (why? I don’t know.) Off she goes, with her friend to stay at her apartment for the night.
Well, suffice it to say, my mother is very upset. My other sister is very upset. I’m very upset. My dad? Beyond pissed. He knows that my mom has pretty much let her get her way in everything, and called my sister to let her know that if she does bring cops over, he’s done with her. My step-dad’s pissed, as well, it being his house, and being unaware of what was going on in it. Did I mention he left two weeks ago for a tour in Iraq? Yeah, he’s gone, but my mom got in touch with him tonight, thankfully.
Mom’s options? File a petition for custody tomorrow. There’s plenty of evidence to suggest that my sister is an entirely unfit mother. I just pray like hell that it all works out for my nephew. He’s 15 months old. Most adorable baby ever, and I mean it. His first word was my name, and I’d do any damn thing for him. This is not the way to start out his life. My sister, birth mother that she is, has no reason whatsoever to be around him until she gets her shit together. Picks up her life, and makes an effort to be in her son’s. There are days I’ll come home to find him crawling around the bathroom floor playing in the toilet because she’s too busy taking a MySpace survey to pay attention to him.
I can’t imagine how anyone could be so callous, so self-righteous, so outright fucking hurtful as my sister has been. After all that everyone has done for her and her baby, this.
Like I said, this probably didn’t make any sense. I’m just so numb right now, so fucking pissed. I wish there was something I could do to make sure that my nephew is okay right now, wherever she’s taken him. My mom had to bring my sister a blanket for him before she left, because “oops, I forgot.”
Don’t get me wrong, I do blame my mother in part, too – but only for letting my sister get away with everything she has thus far. My mom isn’t stupid, but she isn’t always aware of everything that goes on. A lot of other people are, though, and it’s starting to all come together and make sense that my sister may not yet be fit to be a parent.
Sorry if this is a weak rant. Shit, fuck, goddamn. That’s exactly how I feel right now. Helpless and angry. My sister has dug her own grave, but she’s bringing down her innocent child with her. Sad part is, this is just the beginning, and we’re all on the other side, trying to make sure my nephew is put first.
Whew. There, I vented. Wish us luck tomorrow.