Don’t apologize. It was just fine. I could feel the ire deep down in my bones.
It was hardly original, though. Was it the first time you posted it? I remember reading several Pit threads exactly like this one, but I don’t remember who wrote them. That’s a pretty disturbing trend.
The fly in the ointment here is that your sister has a mental illness. She didn’t ask for it, and she surely doesn’t deserve it. But she sure as fuck needs to take responsibility for it.
Thanks for the replies so far, guys. It’s been a tough night, and mom’s talking to a lawyer now. We’ll see what goes on today, but my sister hasn’t checked in with my mom (as any, you know, decent human being would do) as she said she would.
I did learn that my sister had a 9:30 am meeting this morning with social services to determine her eligibility for public assistance. Sounds like she’s missed that meeting. Probably overslept.
Agreed, thank god. She had an abortion at 16 when she got pregnant before. I’m just glad we’re able to support my nephew.
She refuses to get help for any legitimate medical condition she has. She won’t see a doctor, and won’t take any meds.
Sounds like the situation would be a lot easier from our end, though, if she was 17.
Upon re-reading my posting from last night, I may not have been clear about this. She spends her days (noon til, oh, 7pm or so) online. While her only task is to watch and take care of her kid. When my mom gets in around 7, my sister is gone. Where? Don’t know. Several 2am calls have suggested she hangs out in WalMart parking lots, Waffle Houses, what have you. She may disappear for a day or two at a time, and naturally won’t even think to call to see how her child is.
True, and this is a blessing given that she has no qualms about leaving her kid alone with guys she has just met.
Thanks again everyone… I’m still pissed, but have at least calmed down some since last night. I’m off to join my mom for the day, to make sure she’s doing alright, and try to check on my nephew.
I may have mentioned my worthless sister before, but no, this is my first experience with the shit she pulled last night. I agree-- she has some issues, and she has a ways to go to overcoming them. All anyone has ever asked her to do, though, is take some responsibility and make some effort. So far, it hasn’t worked. 
Possibly. Have to say, my understanding was that bipolar strikes at random, whereas the rant read as if it were describing a spoilt brat with a sense of entitlement not getting what she wanted.
Either way, I hope all works out for the baby.
There’s a big difference between asking someone to take responsibility, and truly making them accountable.
IANAtherapist, but often when one person in a family is really sick in the way your sister is, the whole family is sick. Because everyone’s behavior is affected. You’re all making unhealthy choices, although you’re clearly doing the best you can.
It’s just my opinion, but I think your whole family would benefit from therapy.
Sometimes it comes out that the “identified patient” (the one who clearly has problems) is actually acting out everyone’s issues. It might be the case that whatever problems your parents have from their past are being brought into the present by way of your sister.
Or, maybe not.
I’m sorry for your pain and anguish.
My wife was is the exact same shoes 20 years ago. The sister eventually skipped town & my wife’s parents adopted the child. The parents both passed away about 6 years ago, at which time we (my wife, basically) became the guardians of the child. The child is now a Sophomore in college, and doing quite well. I would say it was a happy ending, but for the 3 more recent children (all via 3 different fathers) birthed by the sister.
Yeah. I stand corrected.
An old roommate used to date a woman who had a head injury and some dain bramage. That was not the reason for her acting like a spoilt brat, it was her excuse.
The fact that the cunt of a sister leaves her kid with guys she has just met is disturbing on its own level. I say that from the perspective of a single guy who’s dating a lot. While I think I could be trusted to keep a small life alive for a short while with little assistance, I just don’t want that responsibility. I can’t even conceive of a woman I just met handing me her baby and saying “Here, take care of this. I’m going out to party.” That’s a 911 call right there.
I can only imagine how frustrating and scary this situation is. If she’s taken the child away from a loving home, I know I’d be worried about his care, too. I hope that little boy is brought back to the people that care about and love him like your family does.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard stories about an infant or a young child being abused or killed while in the care of a boyfriend. It seems like, at least locally, there are about a dozen stories per year.
I fear for the lil guy. I hope your mother gets custody. I have a great respect for grandparents who step up to fill the voids left by their offspring. That said, your sister didn’t get this way in a vacuum. I think that all of you could benefit from some counseling, but the top priority is to get your nephew in a safe and stable environment. I am not sure how pointing out that there are much worse scenarios helps; it’s kind of like saying, hey, you can’t walk, talk or see, but you’re not dead.
One day at a time. Don’t do anything rash like keep the baby from her (as tempting as it may be). I’d lay money that she won’t show up for court and perhaps your mother will gain custody quickly.
Re her bipolar. Is this a formally diagnosed condition? Is she supposed to be taking meds? When are her follow up appts? If she’s noncompliant, this situation will never improve. I have some sympathy, but not much, for your sister, IF her illness is genuine. She may be self-medicating with the pot. Or she could just be a wanna feel good fuck up. Sometimes they look exactly the same.
Let us know what happens.
Update: Things went well this morning. My mom was able to get in touch with my sister and talk some sense into her. She’s found a job and starts work Monday. In the mean time, she’s going to live with one of her friends and start paying half the rent on her apartment. Mom was able to talk enough sense into my sister to convince her that it would be best for my nephew to remain here, living with us, for the time being.
We all went to the courthouse, where my sister voluntarily signed over custody to my mother for the time being. This is win-win for everyone involved, especially the baby.
My mom is a good, good person who managed to raise two of her children right. I’m not a saint by any measure, but I think I do well enough. My sister needs help, and my anger has turned more into wanting her to get that way. The friend she’s living with is good people – our family has known her for quite a while, and she’s managed to get a great job and an apartment. Hopefully, living in the real world will help my sister get over her troubles. She says she’s been clean for a few weeks, but who knows. I hope she knows that no one is out to get her-- we just want what’s best for the baby, and for her.
Naive at times, my mom has always let a lot slide. She’s always sided by her kids, and for that, I’ve been thankful. But I’m 100% confident that she took the right step this time. She doesn’t want to make trouble for anyone, but her first concern is that baby, and she’s not backing down from this one. My whole family is rallying behind her, even my father, who hasn’t been on the best of terms with her in a while. She definitely needs that kind of support with my step-father gone for a while.
We all went to lunch afterwards, and it was as if a tremendous burden had been lifted from everyone. I think my sister even feels better knowing that she can focus on getting her shit together while having the baby in a loving home. Mom isn’t going to prevent her from coming by to see the kid, or taking him to dinner, or anything like that – I think she was afraid that custody meant “no more kid.”
So, we’ve still got a long road to go down. I’m hopeful that in a year, we can look back and shake our heads at things ever being this bad. But things are looking up, at least. I just put my nephew down for a nap, and it feels really good to know that he’s somewhere safe and stable.
Thanks for everyone’s support. This kind of turned into a lame story by Pit standards, but I hope you can see how I was just… mad as hell, to put it mildly, last night. 
That’s great.
Wow–that is fantastic. I hope it continues to work out for all, especially the lil guy.
It was mentioned a couple of times upthread, but one thing that everyone must keep in mind is that your sister has a disease. Bipolar disorder is very difficult to have, difficult for others to live with and difficult to treat. It is not “curable” like pneumonia or appendicitis, but it is treatable and many have gone on to lead productive and satisfying lives. However, it takes a lot of work for everyone.
This is not to excuse your sister’s behavior, but to try to understand that she most likely does not want to be the way she is, but is really powerless to change it by herself. People who have normal brains find it difficult to imagine how on one day it is completely impossible to even get out of bed, and a short time later to need to engage in risky behavior and have no thought of the consequences. It’s like a car which has the brakes alternately fail and then lock up. Exhilarating when racing downhill at top speed with abandon, flying past all the ordinary things, but no fun at all when one has to live with the consequences later, while smashed to pieces and wrapped around a tree.
Get a therapist and a psychopharmacologist. A person close to me battles this disorder and it is like balancing on a knife edge. Do some research, on line, through medical personnel and at the library.
Good luck; you all need it.
Well, if nothing else, you’ve got this consolation: you posted a thread in the Pit about a frustrating domestic situation involving the care of a child, and not one single douchebag popped in to blame you for it. Things are looking up around here. 
Good luck with your sister.
I’m glad this skirmish appears to have been won by your mom. Do not make the mistake of thinking the battle is over, though. Your sister will use her baby as a weapon every chance she gets - I guarantee this. You and your family need to find out how to prepare for this.
I’ve been watching this thread since it was started because it hits close to home, and I just want to say that I’m relieved and happy that it seems to be turning out well. I was afraid for your family, but your mother seems to have done the right thing at the right time to avoid a serious disaster. Make sure to give her a big hug!
Phew! Okay, I read through the whole thing at breakneck speed and finally started breathing again at the end when the OP posted the good outcome that the family has the baby while sister gets her life in order. Good on you and your mom, Atomic. You all are this baby’s saving grace at the time he most needs it in his young life. Best of luck to all of you - glad to know this baby is in a safe place being loved and well-cared for.
I think that’s a pretty effective crazy bitch indicator.
I briefly dated a girl who stuck me with her toddler after meeting me on MySpace and knowing me for less than a week! I ended up hanging out with the kid at my parents’ house since I had no idea how to handle a child.
Later she told me that she was a borderline, bipolar, depressed, bulimic, anorexic, obsessive-compulsive cutter with pretty much every weird and rare mental illness listed in the DSM-IV - so many that I was completely unable to determine what she was lying about and what she actually had.
Last I head, though, she’d mostly gotten her act together, started taking her meds consistently, and was working 70 hours a week to keep her kid well-fed and comfortable, so I guess there’s always hope.
I don’t know where you are, but that’s a totally South Carolina way of phrasing it. The first time I heard that, I was all :eek: What? Is your son’s leg broken?
Then it was explained to me that “carry” in SC means “gave a ride to.”
Oh, and I’m sorry about your sister. I hope your family is able to protect her child and resolve the situation.
I’m so glad to hear it worked out. This is the fuzziest-damn-wuzziest pit thread I could hope for! I love it!