She learned this yesterday, after a second blood glucose test. She’s 47, and pretty seriously overweight. Diabetes was the underlying cause of our mom’s death, though it was a heart attack that was the last straw.
On the plus side, she’s asymptomatic and this was picked up in a routine screening. Apparently she’ll need to make some pretty drastic changes to her diet, though she doesn’t know what yet. She’s seeing a dietivian next week.
Even under the best of circumstances, I’m sure it will affect our relationship, because most of our interactions are around meals. We eat out together fairly often.
Any suggestions on how I can help her would be appreciated
It is great that a routine screening caught this so early. It probably saved half of her life.
Now it is up to your sister to save the other half of it.
All I know about diabetes is that it isn’t nearly as scary as it use to be. Medical research is making leaps and bounds in this catagory.
( I read in ahhh…Popular Mechanics?..January Issue… about how in a few years insulin will be availabe as an inhaler for some cases. There are already types of treatment that don’t involved needles, just a patch and a beeper style thing that monitors
blood sugar levels throughout the day.)
About the food issue, you cannot control what she eats. No amount of nagging and bullying will make her do anything, except ignore you. ( Which you know this already, I’m just stating the obvious.) You can help her by setting a good example. Salads, white meats, no desserts, blah blah blah. Encourage going for walks before or after a meal. ( Even just around the mall or block once a day can make a big difference.)
Learn as much as you can about this disease so that you can understand and have intelligent conversations with her ( as well as prepare yourself in the event you should become diabetic.)
Good luck and let her know how much you want her to stick around for the long haul in life!
Both of these points are excellently made by Shirly Ujest. The biggest and most important thing your sister can do to ensure that she has a long and healthy life is to lose weight. Very often type II diabetes will go into a kind of remission when the person loses enough weight.
As Shirley says, you personally cannot influence this, but every little bit of support and encouragement you can give her will be important.
Mr. Ruby was also diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes within the last 3 months. The hospital offered diabetes classes that helped us understand this disease a lot better. See if your sister can find something like this.
Living in a sugar/carb-free world isn’t as hard as it used to be. If she follows her dietary recommendations, she will likely lose weight.
Diet, exercise, and possibly oral meds will likely come first. She may at some time need insulin but the most important thing, IMO, is her attitude. She has to take this seriously. So many people blow it off as having just “a little sugar” and don’t pay attention to their bodies.
Best of luck to her. Catching this early is the best thing that has ever happened to her.
Does your city have free museums, zoos, other cultural or artistic exhibits? A slow stroll through one of these places could give you a chance to talk, if she’s able to walk that far. Even if she can’t walk for long stretches, she could stroll a bit, sit for a bit while you chat, and then walk a bit further.
Exercising alone is BORING. If you could do this with her, it would help both of you.
As for eating out, there’s lots of places and choices that are healthier for a diabetic.
Urge her to go to diabetes education classes. This is more than just a trip to a dietician’s office, it meets for several days, and helps a diabetic learn to cope with various situations.
When you get together it’s for lunch or dinner, right? I have the same problem with my sister. She has the same kind of diabetes too, brought on by an unhealthy diet.
Why not get together where there’s no food being served?
Most social interaction seems to involve food nowadays, and that’s dangerous for a person who eats too much.
At least go someplace where you have control over the food being served. Pack a lunch and meet at the park, something like that.
Little Sisterwinkle is doing fine by the way. She doesn’t have to take shots as long as she watches her diet.
Find a cookbook specifically for diabetics - the cookbook should have amounts of protein/energy/surgar etc for each item assuming it was prepared as directed. This helps a LOT in planning meals which your sister can enjoy. My aunt was recently diagnosed as diabetic, and in a short time she has adapted quite well. She balances her meals in such a way that she can treat herself to a small chocolate as she did tonight, when there was a nice family meal (for example). According to her, artificial sweeteners are fine, and she has no restrictions on that, so find a way to use those as part of your cooking.
A search for “diabetes cookbook” on Amazon.com will get you started. Your sister may or may not want a cookbook, but you can get one and use it when you’re the cook. I believe there’s a Diabetes for Dummies book now as well.
I’m about the same age as your sister and I as diagnosed as being diabetic a couple of years ago. Both my parents were diabetic, and I too have a weight problem. The doctor told me if your parents are diabetic then there’s a 95% chance that you will be too, but diet and exercise will prevent it from showing up until the later years of life. I control mine with oral meds, diet and exercise and do just fine. The doctor also told me that insulin is the very last step you want to take. With insulin you HAVE to eat and it’s also much harder to lose weight. With the oral meds you can skip a meal or even eat later if you have to without any problem, not the case with insulin. You get sick if you don’t eat at given times.
Good luck, once your sister makes up her mind it is fairly easy to control.
I’m only 29, but I was diagnosed this March. I’ve got it under control using diet. I’ve lost a little more than 70 lbs. since then.
I will encourage you to not stop taking her to lunch or dinner. She’s going to be changing so much, she needs some things to be constant. You don’t want her to think that you’re ashamed of her or that you think that she can’t do it.
My sisters showed up and had to literally drag me out of my apartment to go to a restraunt the first time. I was scared that I would do something wrong. I wasn’t confident in being able to estimate the carb count properly. I did fine, and I felt a lot better afterward.
It was about a month after I was diagnosed.
Cookbooks. You don’t need to get diabetic specific cookbooks. Any cookbook that has the nutrition information in it will be just fine. I really like that Weight Watcher cookbooks for that reason. If you cook for her, find out what her carb counts for a meal are, and fix food around that number. She’s going to have to get used to measuring everything, but pretty soon it’s second nature. I don’t even have to use my scoops any more, I’ve gotten really accurate at estimating amounts.
Feel free to e-mail me anytime, I’d be happy to help.
I was diagnosed last year with Type II, NIDD (Non-Insulin Dependent Diabetes).
Being supportive will be the big thing. It does throw a major wonky in ones life to be diagnosed with a chronic disease such as diabetes.
As you say most of your interaction revolves around food, what is wrong with everyone eating healthier? It isn’t as bad as many people think. As with any food related lifestyle changes it comes down to moderation - even sugars and carbs.
You do not mention the severity of her diabetes. Is she on insulin, oral meds, or just suggested to watch what she eats and exercise more? The method of treatment will vary with severity of the diabetes. For example my mom controlls hers with diet and exercise, whilst I take Metformin to control mine as well as diet and exercise.
There is quite a lot in getting set up to minitor yourself - blood sugar monitoring kits, dietician visits, lots of chat with the doc, etc - but it’s worth it. The ramifications of ignoring it (blindness, loss of limbs, coma, death…) are not worth ignoring. Once set up with everything, it becomes a habit and not so bothersome.
Feel free to contact me if you need more info, or have any questions, or just want to rant.
I was diagnosed type 2 diabetic at about that same age. Things you can do for her:
Take a long walk with her a few times a week. For at least 20 minutes at a brisk pace.
Make sure she gets medical attention. For many of us, diet, exercise, and oral medication are all that is needed. You don’t have to give up all carbs, just watch them and make healthier choices when possible.
Things to avoid are regular soft drinks and milkshakes. If she drinks, she needs to cut back or cut off.
Make sure she gets and wears a medical alert necklace. The kind where you can register the medications and dosages are better but more expensive. For any medical emergency, they need to know if you’re diabetic.
Get her to a diabetes class. Most insurances cover it. Her doctor will probably refer her to it. Go with her or see that her significant other does.
Keep her spirits up. Finding out you have an incurable disease is a big shock. Be there for her. Diabetes is not a death sentence, but it can be if you don’t maintain glucose control.
Second-hand experience here; my wife has had type-II diabetes for about ten years. A lot of good advice given so far. I can also add that your sister should carefully follow any advice the doctor gives her regarding blood sugar monitoring and visits to specialists. Regular examinations by an opthamalogist for possible diabetic retinopathy and by a podiatrist for foot problems are usually a good idea. Many diabetics have poor circulation which can result in foot infections; my wife had a problem with recurring blisters and sores on her feet; one infection spread so rapidly that we had to take her to the hospital and by the time they got it under control it cost her almost half her left foot.
A close friend of mine was diagnosed with Type II diabetes, and as much as she loved food (all kinds) she was able to make the necessary changes without too much heartache. She’s gotten it under control enough that she can treat herself occasionally and not feel deprived, and she lost a good amount of weight as well. That you care enough to try and help will mean a lot, I’m sure, and as long as you remain considerate of her needs it can do nothing but good for the two of you. Best of luck, yojimboguy.
Just my little note from what we deal with at work:
She might want to get her life insurance set up now, while she’s only “sort of” diabetic. The good companies (the ones you’ve actually heard of) are now treating diabetes as not that big a deal. My point is that if she doesn’t lose the weight, and ends up on shots, the costs per month will be a lot higher.
A lot of people say they’ll just wait until their slimmer, and “out of the woods”, but then that never seems to quite happen for many of them. Besides, if she does lose the weight and keep it off, she can get re-evaluated with the good companies.
My brother also has this form of diabetes. He’s controlling it pretty well with diet.
Your sister is in for some lifestyle/diet changes. And it has to come from her. Unless you understand that you can’t influence her, you’ll wind up very frustrated and perhaps even being harder on yourself than you should be.
Be supportive, certainly, but don’t take on any responsibility for her health. If she’s not going to follow doctor’s orders, she’s not going to follow your nagging. I hope she does take initiative and improve her habits. There’s no reason she can’t have a long, active, enjoyable life. I wish you both good luck.
My sister has loads of “healthy eating” cookbooks, and I don’t even have any pots and pans to cook with. So I won’t be doing any cooking for her.
I like the idea of walking with her, but over the years she’s tried several times to get into some kind of exercise routine, and it’s never stuck. When we agreed (maybe 4 years ago) to walk each evening after work, she called it off within a week. I do a fair amount of bicycling, and she dragged me along once to help her pick out a good bicycle, but I never once was able to get her to actually ride it. She spent nearly $500, and as far as I know never used it once. About 6 months ago she joined a health club. Once again, within a couple of weeks she stopped going.
I suppose the positive side of this is that she’s been aware for some years that she needed to take steps to get healthier. But looking on, I’ve found it very depressing.
I guess a question still remaining in my mind is whether I have some responsibility to change my own eating habits while I’m around her. How likely is it that it will help or inspire her, given that the other people around her aren’t likely to make such adjustments?
The First Year Type 2 Diabetes: An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed by Gretchen Becker. It is available in paperback from Amazon.com a little over $10 (not sure if that includes S&H).
Don’t quit going to eat with your sister. She is going to feel alienated enough with the changes taking place in her life. Especially when they are related to food.
I’m sure it hard to be supportive when a family member has a chronic illness. You should be commended for trying, anyway. I have several chronic illnesses - including Type II - Diabetes - controlled with meds. If I am in the wrong mood at the wrong time - no matter how helpful my family is trying to be - it is going to come across as nagging. So… don’t be discouraged if you get a little negative feedback from her occasionally. She is going to be sorting through alot of emotions. And if she feels like she is being forced into anything it just might backfire. IMHO.
Hope some of this helps. If nothing else get the book for yourself or look for one for families of Diabetics.