Should I tell this to someone in my family?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I got some medical news that scared me today. Please bear with me, it’s long and I am a weak and wussy person.

Okay, some background. Couple of years ago I went to the doctor. Turns out my blood sugar was high, I was supposed to check it daily, did for a while, got lazy and stopped. I did go on a low cal diet at the time and WAY reduced the blood sugar level, pretty much down to what they wanted.

Gone off that too, but I could start again.

I went to the doctor about a week ago because I was feeling poor still from a cold. She is not my primary care physician, he was booked up and I was asked if I would see Dr. F. The x-ray said my chest was clear. About an hour ago I got a call about the blood work. It’s way high again. The person calling, her nurse I guess, said tat I should start on some pill right away, also insulin.

I freaked out. I can’t do insulin, I’m so very scared of needles. Could take a pill I suppose. I asked about trying to modify my diet first and see where that gets me, but she said she didn’t think it would help that much. I started crying on the phone because I was scared. The nurse has me going in tomorrow to talk directly to the doctor about all this.

I don’t feel bad at all. I can, if it will help, maintain the discipline of a low calorie diet as I did before, and I’d like to try that first. It would be easier than sticking myself, I just can’t do that. She isn’t my main doctor anyway.

Now, my mother is not well. She’s in the final week of radiation treatment for lung cancer. I don’t want to scare her. And if I tell anyone else in my family, say, my sister the pharmacist or my cousin the nurse practitioner, they’ll be on my case for not maintaining my blood checks. I have no friends to talk in person with about it. Even if I did it would feel to me like I’m just trying to be a drama queen, as everyone has had family or health issues of their own.

Should I tell someone in my family? I don’t want my mother to worry and maybe get weaker.

2

Make an appointment with your primary care physician and see what he says.

3

I’m unclear, you mention “way high blood sugar” and insulin but the word diabetes does not come up in your OP, are you diagnosed with some kind of diabetes or not?

Re sharing, yes it is likely that you will be judged harshly if this was a known dangerous condition you ignored but if you want support you will to deal with what’s on the table.

4

First of all a potential diagnosis of Diabetes isn’t the end of the world. There are many options for controlling your blood sugar, and believe it or not, diet is the hardest method for most people. This is because some foods convert to sugar faster than others. Each meal becomes a mini game of what is this going to do for me and when. Stop worrying. Now-a-days it is very likely if they don’t give you pills, you will be given a delivery method you can be comfortable with. Google Lantus Pen for an example.

As to informing your family, it depends. It’s been my experience that most people are grossly misinformed about diabetes. Informing the wrong ones can be more frustrating than the diabetes itself. This may be one of those times the phrase “ignorance is bliss” is most apt.

5

You know your family best, so I think you’ve already answered your own question.

The two members who might judge you for not controlling blood sugar might also be good resources. If you want someone to hold you accountable to a plan of action, they might provide the kick in the pants you need to stay on track.

Telling your mother again depends on her personality. Sometimes when I have problems of my own, getting involved in someone else’s problem is actually a relief to me, assuming they don’t have some kind of unreasonable expectations from me. But I also know some people who freak out and worry in ways that I don’t. If your mother is a worrier, then I’d probably skip telling her.

If you did have friends to tell, or told other family members, I think the issue of being a drama queen has to do with delivery and not content. “I think I’ll order the salad for lunch because my blood sugar tested high” is different than “Because my blood sugar is high, you must cater to my every whim and spend hours listening to me sob and moan!”

As for medical issues: there’s a lot to be said for getting an opinion from your regular doctor who knows more about you than anyone else will. Also, a lot to be said for getting any second opinion. Don’t let fears about things like needles stop you from pursuing all of your options. Maybe needles aren’t required for you. Or maybe you find that you get over the needle issue after a week of practice.

6

Thank you for this Stuffy. I don’t want my mother to worry, she’s almost 83, and with the family concern about her lung cancer, I don’t want to make it seem like “me too”. I think I’ll tell the doctor tomorrow I want a second opinion from my primary care physician before I start any kind of treatment. I’ve had some practise, since my dad was killed last year, at hiding how I feel. I don’t think she will notice.

7

My pleasure. If you end up on insulin check back in for some pointers and surprises you can expect.

8

As long as the surprises don’t involve needles I can deal with it. I simply won’t be able to inject myself with anything, if it ended up coming to that. I can barely hold still for blood drawing. I’ve donated blood in the past, quite a number of times, but I’ve never once seen the needle.

9

Insulin injections that you give yourself are very shallow. They aren’t anything like getting an intravenous blood draw. I know that seems easy to say for someone who’s deathly afraid of it, but there is a difference.

10

“I won’t, I simply can’t, there is no way…”

You need to stop saying these things and thinking this way, and believing this. Good Lord, Children are dreadfully afraid of needles yet, when diabetic, manage to get passed it somehow. So maybe first, just calm down. A few deep breaths.

Stop limiting yourself with such negative crap and open your mind just a sliver. Enough to acknowledge that it might be possible for you to find another delivery method or even, deep breath, learn to deal with it, discover it’s not what you thought, etc.

But you can’t get there with a head and a mouth full of, “I could never, there’s no way…”, etc.

Wishing you good luck, I know it won’t be an easy journey regardless!

11

This.

My daughter has cystic fibrosis, and is also diabetic as a result. She’s been poking her fingers and taking multiple insulin injections daily since she was 9 years old. In addition to all the other invasive treatments she needs daily. She could never afford the luxury of being squeamish.

12

elbows, please don’t call the fear I’m feeling “negative crap.”

QtM. your daughter is brave than I am, and she’s been trained differently. Please take that into account.

Tomorrow I’ll tell the doctor I’m doing as another poster suggested and seeing my primary care physician for a second opinion. If she balks at that or has reservations, I’ll thank her for seeing me last week, and ask her to forward the small file I have in that office to the other doctor.

Then I’ll decide whether or not to talk to my sister about this. She’s signed on as having medical power of attorney decisions for me, so maybe she should know. But I"ve decided not to tell my mother.

13

After seeing your GP, I’d suggest seeing an endocrinologist as well. You will need a care plan, because diabetes is a lifelong condition – even if it’s controlled by diet and exercise, once you’re diabetic, you’re diabetic.

An endocrinologist can also help with fear of needles, testing, dietary choices you can live with, and so on. There are options to test using a “stick” to the arm, instead of the finger. Some diabetics can take oral medication and control their blood sugar using diet. And so on.

Do take it very seriously, if you have the dx. So many complications come as the result of poorly-controlled diabetes. It just ruins people who would otherwise be fine. You have to stay on top of it.

You might ask if the endocrinologist knows of a support and education group for diabetics. Hospitals might have them; for example, here’s one at a hospital in Massachusetts.

14

You can do this! You are strong, resourceful, smart and brave!

Did the nurse tell you what the high number was by any chance? (Just being nosy.) I suspect it was “not good” since the nurse called quickly and suggested diet alone “would not help.”

Anyway, see your regular Doc. Get a hemoglobin A1C which will tell you how your blood sugars have been over the past 3 months.

Improve your diet, add some exercise, lose some weight (if needed) and tell your doc about your fear of needles. You may be able to treat the problem with pills but that’s for the doc to decide. If you do wind up with a diabetes diagnosis, it Is Not The End Of The World. It’s very manageable and you will feel better when you have proper treatment.

You say you feel OK, but I have found that diabetics don’t really realize how crappy they feel because they are so used to it. Sometimes, they don’t even like feeling good because it’s been so long since they felt that way that it just doesn’t feel ‘right’ or ‘normal,’

So, see your Doc. If your doc is affiliated with one of those nice, big clinics, expect to be referred to a diabetic and diet educator.

Everyone in my family has diabetes- the fat ones, the skinny ones, the ones who exercise and the ones who don’t. (Every one but me, the fat, lazy one. Just lucky, I guess.)

The most successful family member is a real diabetes hero (and also probably lucky, too). He, too, is very afraid of needles, but he used his power for good. “I am not going on the needle. I am not going on the needle. I am not going on the needle.” I swear, that’s all I heard out for him for many months.

But you know what? He meant it. He made big changes in diet and exercise. He lost weight and kept it off. He dropped 100 pounds a few years ago and kept them off. He doesn’t even take the pills anymore! Why? Because he used his power for good!

Maybe you could do this too!

Accept the challenge. You can do it!

15

Over 90% of cases of diabetes type II can be handled perfectly well by primary care docs. I get about one new case of previously undiagnosed DM a week in my patient population. It’s not rocket surgery. I can write the initial orders for these cases in my sleep. I often do.

16

She wasn’t happy about it, believe me. But the point is, she dealt with it. And so can you.

I just had one patient who absolutely refused to go on insulin for two years, despite my strong advice, finally come around. He was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Now, 3 months later, he feels much better and is berating himself for putting it off so long. He lost some health he’ll never get back as a result, but he’s definitely better off now.

I’ve also had to put some folks on insulin initially, only to have them make enough lifestyle changes to be able to go to oral meds, and even off meds completely.

17

Baker, you’ve had a large ration of shitty stuff happen in your life in the past few months. You really didn’t need this one. However, as others have said, you can do this. There are many more options for managing diabetes than there were just a few years ago. Your decision to see your regular doctor is the right one as long as he is someone you trust and can work with. Also I think you should wait on telling anyone in your family until you have seen your doctor and have an idea what’s going to happen. If you need to vent you can do it here!

And just as an anecdote, many members of my family developed diabetes later in life. One aunt in particular was a sort of delicate flower of a person and she said she could not give herself shots. So she didn’t for a long time; she made her husband do it. Then one day he was sick; had the flu, was going from both ends if you follow me, and she said well damnit I guess I have to do everything myself. So she did. Shaking like a leaf later when telling me about it but from then on she did it herself. If she could do it anyone could do it, really and truly.

Wishing you all the best, Baker, and an end to bleak and unpleasant happenings for your family.

18

My cousin-in-law ignored his diabetes for years, not because of a fear of needles, but rather for the equally silly reason of simply laziness. He went blind and almost lost a leg. He can’t work, he can barely walk, he needs help to do anything. This all happened when he was not yet 40.

Is your irrational fear of needles worth that (or worse)?

Please find a way to take care of yourself.

19

You can get use to needles. When I was a kid I had allergy injections every week or two for years and I got so use to getting a shot, it wasn’t a big deal at all. You can do this!

20

I know exactly what you’re feeling about needles. I am the same way. I was diagnosed with the beginning stages of diabetes almost a year ago, but have brought my glucose levels way down by changing my diet, exercising, and taking Metformin, a pill.

But when I was first diagnosed, I was of the mindset that I could never do the shots. I was the kid at the doctor’s that all of the nurses had to gather round to hold down for immunizations. I hate needles so much, still. I even thought that I would rather die from diabetes than to inject insulin. Injections were incompatible with my will to live! EXCEPT… you don’t just quickly and painlessly die from diabetes. First you could get a foot or two chopped off. Then go blind. A heart attack or three. Kidney failure. Goddammit. So that plan doesn’t work.

Try to put it out of your mind until you can get some concrete info from your doctor about what treatments are available to you. And then, take it one step and one day at a time. But know that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling about it.