My Son Is Deserting Me. And That's A Good Thing.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I think we all have taken a swing at this classic piñata: the unemployed thirty-five year old guy still living with his mother and playing video games all day. It’s an easy punch line to write and one that we never seem to get tired of.
The hanging curve ball that anyone can hit into the bleachers is what a loser this guy is. But actually I don’t blame the guy.

Nah. No, I blame Mom. She’s the one who walked the winning run across the plate, not the catcher who had to stand there and watch a guy smile and head for high fives in the dugout.

If tomorrow President O’Bama gave everyone three hots and a cot, I think most Americans would still look for work. It’s in our bones. But y’know, there would still be a few slackers out there who would say “Hey, works for me” and kick back with World of Warcraft.

My oldest son gets on a plane Monday that will fly him away into his future. He has joined the Army and can’t wait to start sweating over an M16 with some angry guy in a Smokey the Bear hat screaming at him.

He started talking about it last year and I was plainly shocked. He’s quiet and reserved, very cerebral. His high school diploma states Summa Cum Laude. (I didn’t know they did this but, hey, how would I know, I was just glad to crawl out alive.)

He’s the guy who sits there and patiently listens to everyone else talk and then pulls out a one liner that absolutely slays you.

It’s probably my fault, but everything from the empty milk carton in the refrigerator to the financial meltdown is my fault. I’ve been telling him my old Army stories all his life (they are pretty funny) and about all the fantastic places I’ve seen courtesy of my rich Uncle Sam: London, Paris, Rome, and Awe-gusta, Georgia. I guess he decided to see for himself.

So this is pretty much our last weekend together. I’ve spent as much time with him this week as I can because I think things will never be quite the same for us ever again. I told him this and he just laughed in my face because he simply can’t imagine what’s in store for him. But I can. The next time I see him, he’ll be an adult—a “grown up”—with adult concerns and adult thoughts.

I have come to accept that the most frustrating realization about being a parent is that the better you do your job, the sooner you make yourself obsolete. Useless. Tits on a bull. “Thanks, Dad, but I can handle this myself.”

Tough piñata to swallow.

That will be okay, though. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I am at peace with the universe.

But I don’t have to like it.

2

What does this part have to do with the rest? Your 35-year-old son is joining the army? You’re 35, your son is joining the army, and you still live with your mom? What?

3

If you were to start insanely rambling, it might help.

4

How are you gonna feel if you’re 35 year old son is killed?

I had a brother killed in Vietnam. I never knew him very well as their was a fifteen year age difference between us. I know my mother was proud he was in the military but the family was never quite the same afterwards.

I guess the question is, is a live mooching, lazy kid better than a dead son. Both will be unemployed.

Still I wish him well.

5

The vast majority of all members of the military manage not to freakin’ die in combat. Your whole post was out of line. He can’t stop his son from joining the Army anymore than you could have stopped your brother from heading to Vietnam. I wish this was the pit.

Hey OP, your post was coherent AND funny and I wish your son well. It’s always nice when someone decides they want to change for the better.

6

Congratulations to your son for making a decision and at least moving in a direction. I’ve served in the Army for 22 years and supported my son’s decision to enlist, even if it was in the Air Force.

Military service isn’t necessarily for everyone, but it can help to provide direction and purpose for otherwise rudderless folks. Hopefully he’ll have good leadership who will encourage and support him continuing his education.

May I ask, what career field/MOS is he going into?

7

Thank you, Palacheck.

Drillrod, I forget the exact MOS but he’s going to be a data analyst. I know, I know, Military Intelligence is one of my favorite oxymorons too. But the closest he’ll get to live amunition will probably be on the firing range.

He’s a smart kid and I know he’ll make a significant contribution. Thank you both for your kind words.

8

Your son has my hearty thanks for enlisting in the service of our country. May he stay safe from harm.

9

Sounds like he is in for an adventure.

You are right, things will all be different - and although I don’t have children, I can understand the poignant sense of loss - and the simultaneous feeling of pride and joy in a child growing.

Here’s a wish for joy in his new adventure and an added wish for his safe return.

10

Really? I had a helluva time trying to navigate that tangle of incoherent statements and contradictions.

Anyway, good luck. I guess.
mmm

11

:eek:
As an Army vet myself from a long, long line of Army veterans, I have to say that your Army “man card” is now revoked. Hand it over. I mean seriously, the Air Force? Those goddamn longhaired, lazy fairy bastards wouldn’t know combat if it smacked them in the face! I mean jeez! Your only saving grace is that at least you didn’t allow him to join the freaking Navy. That would have been bad. Really, really bad. You would have had to disown him!

:wink:

As to the OP, congrats. He’s serving our country, and that’s something every American can get behind.

12

Good luck to your son.

And I hope your metaphors become untangled soon. I cannot make head nor tail of your first three (?four) paragraphs.

13

Even though I am too young to have experienced Vietnam personally I can understand why someone would have a jaded view of the military from that era, especially after suffering a personal loss.
If I had a kid, I’d probably be very worried if he (or she) went into the military, but I’d also worry if he became a police officer, firefighter, race car driver, foreign aid worker in an unstable country, etc. I would hope that everyone who goes into such jobs understands that there is a risk that they may end up sacrificing everything for the job and is at peace with that.
I’m thankful that there are people out there who are willing to step forward so that we no longer need to have a draft and force people into the military who never wanted to accept those risks. I also give a lot of respect to the families of those who serve for having to put up with all the worrying about their loved one. Hope everything goes well for your son, Aswan!

14

I’d say Semper Fi because it’d be an awesome,appropriate, thing to say, but I didn’t earn that right…and I recognize that. So…whatever a civvie can say that most approximates Semper Fi…That’s what I mean to day.

And I say this knowing my wife’s twin brother, at 40, hasn’t worked a day in the last 10 years and lives at home with daddie.

15

Sometimes, people need a kick or bump start. The military might be just the thing. Luck to you both.

16

Please allow me to clarify one thing: my son is not 35, unemployed, and living with his mother. This was an attempt to place a somewhat humorous spin on my narrative but apparently an ill fated one.

My son is 18 and graduated from high school in June. His delayed entry is due to the fact that his advanced training will last about six months and the Army conducts the school only twice a year. Each class has only 12 seats and he was scheduled so that the beginning of the advanced training would coincide with his projected completion of Basic Training. This creates a bit of pressure because if he’s a bolo in Basic, that train will sail without him. (Oh damn, there I go mixing my metaphors again.)

However, I still thank you for your well wishes and words of encouragement.

17

Ahhhhh, thank you for clearing that up.

And we’ll allow the train/sail metaphor. :slight_smile:

Best of luck to you and Jr.

mmm

18

Well, not the conscientious objectors, but that’s not important right now. :slight_smile:

Good for you, Aswan, for understanding what a parent’s job actually is.

19

Nitpick: Obama’s not Irish :slight_smile:
He’s Kenyan :-p

20

Hey! I was in the Air Force! Don’t dis my boys! Of course, I was a Navy brat. My family had to wear bags on their heads for 2 years. :smiley:

Aswan, good luck to you and your son, may he always have a tailwind to come home safely.