But does he have to learn it from Mom? 
Wow. I’m glad most of you aren’t my parents. I would leave home.
The moment my oldest son was born I thought to myself, “Here is an individual. His wants are not my wants. His happiness has nothing to do with me and I am not responsible for it. I am only here to help him if he falls down and offer food and shelter as long as he needs it.”
From the age of six, if he asked for advice, I gave it, with the YMMV comment. If I felt he was not seeing the big picture, I explained the possible outcomes of his decision. He was free to choose whatever he thought was best. He generally chose well. When he did not, he suffered for it.
Do your homework or don’t. It is not my problem, nor will it be my problem later if you fail. If you need help, if you need a tutor, if I can explain it, I certainly will. Summer school will cost you your summer. Why would that bother me.
If your kid falls down, you help him up and let go of his hand. Offer a word of encouragement if you feel it might help. That is all.
I told him, “Be a murderer, be a king, I love you exactly the same. Do what you will. Your sole obligation is to yourself and, perhaps, your unborn children.”
While I’m sure there are a few kids this won’t work for, those are the exception. My boys are grown. They are fine men. We still have the exact same relationship. Most child/parent relationships never change. Is that really want you want? When he is 50?