Ayup. Maybe the OP could discuss musical genres here.
I’d really like to see a cite for that. I hate to burst anyone’s happy bubble in this thread but I knew a lot of “goths” in high school and they all turned out to be piss-poorly adjusted and they’re all either on welfare or working for minimum wage now. “Now” being 10 years later.
-2 of them are hopelessly addicted to heroin and have already have multiple scary brush-with-death ICU overdoses.
-1 of them is in an out of mental hosptials
-Several of them are in and out of jail
-1 of them just had her 3rd welfare baby (born addicted to nicotine, alcohol, and god knows what else, of course.)
The people who are serious about this “Fashion trend”, at least where I grew up, seem to also have some pretty serious problems elsewise.
On the bright side, this only seems to apply to the ones who stayed goth until they dropped out or gradutated. The ones who just went through a short phase don’t seem to be any different than every other kid. We all go through some kind of phase as teenagers, whether it be goth or chess club - it’s how we learn about ourselves.
It’s just wanting to be part of a gang, piss off the parents, and wallow a wee bit in the angst that accompanies teenagehood. If your bairn is otherwise well adjusted there’s no harm in it.
I’d advise against tattoos though.
/Struan, who did the Goth thing from 1984-1988 - the music was better grumble grumble
//People should read “The Flowers of Romance” as a teen
Don’t freak out too much. There are absolutely degrees to Gothism (can I use that word?), and it sounds like your son hasn’t exactly dived in head first. Just keep an eye on him for real signs of depression, and beyond that don’t worry too much. The most self-destructive, depressive people I’ve ever known were not Goths, and some of the most extreme Goth-dressing people I know are also very upbeat, friendly people. One in particular is perfectly friendly, rather naive, and a very sweet girl. She just thinks she looks good in Goth clothes (and is quite correct about that assumption).
Just chiming in with the others who say don’t panic. I’m not goth (can’t stand the clothes or the music), but I’m friends with quite a few.
Body piercing, tattoos, self-mutilation?
Hell, sorority girls now have tattoos and nose rings.
Some goths do drugs, some don’t. Some good things about the sub-culture: the goths I’ve known have really valued intelligence and creativity. A lot of the goths I knew majored in art or computer science. (One friend majored in philosophy and now runs a very successful bar. Appropriate for a philospher, no?) It’s a very gay-friendly subculture. And, in my experience, it can make for an extremely supportive group of friends.
Whatever you do, don’t be a dick to your son. (Not saying that you would.) If he doesn’t mock your clothes, don’t mock his. My father-in-law assumed that when his sons got into something that deviated from the norm (goth subculture, anarchism, radical environmentalism), it was because they were on drugs. It was very insulting, and strained his relationship with them greatly. Obviously, you want to keep and an eye on your kid, but don’t make assumptions.
I’m in the club, too. My super-genius 12 year old (soon to be) stepdaughter is a goth - which seems to mean lots of trips to Hot Topic. As long as she has nice friends and a smile on her face (and good grades) she can wear whatever she likes. I told her I used to wear safety pins in my ears and made her a CD of ‘real’ music (the Clash, etc) and got some respect.
I was the Stevie Nicks chick in high school, and I survived that, so I wouldn’t worry.
Call him ma “Kindergoth”, just once.
He’ll either drop it instantly, or plunge headlong into full-blown vampirism. 50/50.
When I was 15 or so, I had fuschia hair and wore all black to school every day. I had a safety pin in my eyebrow and a huge hoop in my nose. This was mid-90s western Colorado, and Hot Topic did not exist there yet.
I was sitting in Latin class one day, surrounded by all my preppie peers. The Dean walks in, takes on look at me. “Purple hair, huh? What next?” and threw me the rolleyes.
My friend the track team star says, “Yeah, she’s the only one that got an “A” on the midterm, too.*” Dean thoroughly checked!
In the interest of full disclosure though, I did end up dropping out - but not 'cause I was a death rocker. I think that was mostly post-divorce fallout. Whatever, I don’t have a good excuse for that one. However, I have my shit thoroughly together and still have a closet full of black and an iPod full of Bauhaus. I think it’s more than safe to say that your son’s fascination is a harmless one.
*And I’m probably the only one in that class that’s moved on to higher education - in fact, I’m at the UCLA Classics department now.
My daughter’s hair is dyed black with blue streaks in it (the blue streaks are temporary, just for today). I’ll let her do pretty much anything to it that doesn’t involve bleaching. She left the house today in black dogpatch pants, a Misfits tshirt, a black studded belt, and beat up Chucks. Usually it would be beat up Docs, but she’s going to a show, and feels that Docs are too dangerous for moshpits and particularly crowdsurfing. (Her words, "It’s not worth protecting my toes at the expense of someone else’s head.)
She’s an *awesome * kid. She’s smart, funny, thoughtful, and respectful. She tutors homeless kids in reading and history. She’s has an encyclopaedic knowledge of music, literature, and art, both high and low. She’s passionate about punk rock and photography. She doesn’t drink or do drugs, she stays out of trouble, she has great friends, and she’s a happy kid. She’s not perfect, but who is?
Don’t bother about how your kid dresses, or what music he listens to (within reasonable limits of appropriateness, of course). Worry about how he behaves.
Well I’m sorry, I don’t have one. I won’t be able to find one either.
However, It seems that we have different experiences when it comes to “goth kids”. This might be because there are a lot of them around here (Norway), particularly up north (because it’s dark there anyway, and they’re really wearing camoflage, the joke goes). Anyway, I always feel safe around goths and gothish types. Most of them are nice people, well-spoken, smart, with good taste. Many of them are way geeky, into fantasy and dragons and stuff like that, which means I usually have a lot in common with them.
Then again, the ones I hang around with are older (20-25ish), that might be a factor.
Yes. My son is a quasi-goth (or so he says). He has long hair but it is not dyed. He wears one of these (well he did until the hall monitors at school told him that was a no-go), when he came back from visiting Grandma last summer he had little mini handcuffs on a few of his fingers that he still wears, and he thinks Rob Zombie is the be all and end all of music. He also gets straight A’s in school, he works 4 1/2 hours a day four days a week and one eight hour day on the weekend, he wears regular clothes (although some of his shirts have some pretty sarcastic stuff on them - I have NO idea where he gets THAT from) and plans to join the ROTC this year, go to college and major in law and accounting, become a Naval Officer, then join the FBI or CIA.
So yeah. There are degrees. 
Hallboy (also 12) every now and then states he wants to “go Goth”. He makes grand plans on growing his hair long (which I wish he would do, since it curls just a bit and is simply beautiful when it gets a big longer) so he can wear his bangs across his face, and dying it black, etc. Then, his hair starts to grow a bit longer, and it tickles his ears, and soon he’s begging me to cut it.
So, when he says he wants to “go Goth” I simply say, “Okay” and bid my time until his hair tickles his ears and he comes a beggin’. 
Visigoths and Ostrogoths and little lambs eat ivy
My kid will go Gothic, too, wouldn’t you?
Being a hippie and smoking pot wouldn’t shock you, so he’s doing the modern-kid equivalent. You know how it is with 12-year-olds and kids in that age group: they want to express their individuality by fitting into a rigidly defined subculture where everybody proves they’re “different” by doing the same things. 
Meh. He’s 12. It probably won’t last. Everyone I know who’s still goth-y today started later than that. Hell, I’m borderline goth-y, and I was listening to Celine Dion, Ace of Base, and Spice Girls when I was that age. Besides, as long as he’s conducting himself in a responsible fashion, it’s just clothes.
Of course, this could just be a ploy to scam the Rob Zombie tickets off of you. . . ;).
My little brother went gothic when he was about 12, mainly I think to cope with being gay. His goth friends are lovely and supportive, unlike pretty much everyone else in our school. I got into a lot of fights standing up for him, because he is too sweet to do it himself. He smokes a bit of weed on the weekends, not a big deal. To be fair, he did fail all his ASlevels, twice, but that had nothing to do with being a goth, he was never that bright. He looks like something out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but is actually well adjusted and sociable.
Meanwhile, I dressed very punk as a kid (can’t any more, not allowed to scare the patients) with green mohican and everything, I never had a friend my own age, they were all at least 3 years older. I had some issues with depression, never went to school, got 3 tattoos and 14 piercings. And still finished school a year early, got into medical school, and now look like a nice sensible geeky student, natural hair colour and everything. Like DianaG said, it’s not how you dress, its how you behave.
Direct him to the master Maddox here Has some funny things on Goth…
I know this is the cliche, but when was the last time you heard anyone claiming that they were joining a subculture to prove their individuality? I just don’t think it works like that.
What does sometimes happen is that folks feel alienated from mainstream culture, or feel unsuccessful in mainstream culture, and so they find a subculture where they feel comfortable. If that subculture wears all black, then they’ll wear all black to show other members of the subculture who they are. There’s nothing hypocritical about it.
Of course, if a particular Goth actually claims to be totally different from everyone else in their black eyeliner and trenchcoat, then sure, laugh at them. But don’t make the mistake of thinking they all have a patently self-contradictory self-image; that’s just not the case for goths or punks or hippies or pretty much anyone.
Daniel
It certainly doesn’t work like that: who is that upfront about their motivations? I don’t know why you think they would be saying it aloud. High school was recent enough for me that I can remember what is was like. For example, my friends complained that most everybody else was a conformist. In fact, we all said that. See what I’m driving at? I’m just saying that every subculture has its own rules, and that there’s a certain level of irony involved when people express their different-ness the same way everyone else is doing it.
Of course it isn’t. I hope it was clear that I was employing a little bit of hyperbole. That’s what the smiley face was about.
A goth kid around here only says one thing
“My parents are middle class”.
Not sure what my point is.
Middle class parents generally don’t rear kids that turn out bad when they reach adulthood?
It’s a safe rebellion against the middle class ways?
Also, I’m guessing you’re American and you don’t really have a class system (not that we do that much anymore) so everything I’ve said is useless…
sorry