My son will be repeating the 4th grade...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

[QUOTE=Clothahump]

You might also take away privileges and tell him that he can earn them back via his grades. But if he earns them back and the grades fall again, poof go the privileges. Get the concept of actions having consequences over to him.
[/QUOTE]

With all due respect, this advice works fine, I suppose, with a regular kid, however one of the problems AD/HD causes is that ‘consequences’ mean squat because it is difficult for many folks with AD/HD to retain lessons learned, to plan based on past lessons, and to foresee ‘consequences’. So you can punish a kid a dozen times with ‘consequences’ and the kid will do the same thing again. It’s the failure of the executive function that no amount of punishment will repair.

22

[QUOTE=cruel butterfly]
His social studies grade is horrible. I spoke to that teacher today. She’s not his homeroom teacher; I happened to catch her in the hallway by the office…
[/QUOTE]

This is off topic, but… a school where fourth grade kids are moved from classroom to classroom for different subjects? Where do they do THAT? That strikes me as being a little distracting for nine year olds; I thought they didn’t do that until high school, or late middle school at the very earliest.

Maybe a change of schools would help. I cannot help but think the cild would be better off in a more stable classroom. That’s just too young to be moving from teacher to teacher throughout the day.

23

tomndebb said a lot of what I was thinking (but tomndebb said more eloquently). The first major point, has your son been officially evaluated by the school system (e.g. tested, etc.) and does he have an IEP? It seems to me that his reading is not that bad and he needs tutoring in math. Just keeping him back a grade may not be of any help in this. If a child has a serious enough problem that keeping him back is being considered, then he definitely should be tested and probably put on an IEP.

And you say keeping him back is intended to help his social skills, but again, just keeping him back is not necessarily going to help that, especially at his age (if he were pre-school or kindergarden than he could change dramatically in a year just by getting older – but not in 4th grade, just from repeating a grade).

Also, the point about GP vs psychiatrist for the medication is an excellent one. If the Adderall is helping then fine, but the real expert in this field would be a psychiatrist.

Last, you are clearly interested in your son’s progress and are doing what a concerned parent would be doing. Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into thinking that you haven’t done enough and are the only one responsible for fixing all of this. The school system is responsible for his schooling, and for making any accommodations that may help your son. That is their job.

24

[QUOTE=ratatoskK]
Last, you are clearly interested in your son’s progress and are doing what a concerned parent would be doing. Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into thinking that you haven’t done enough and are the only one responsible for fixing all of this. The school system is responsible for his schooling, and for making any accommodations that may help your son. That is their job.
[/QUOTE]

Well, sort of. The school system shares that responsibility with the son and with the parents. Sure, they must make necessary accommodations to help any student identified with a disability–but if a student is not so identified, they are not legally obligated to make any accommodations at all (at least, not by federal law). Absent an identified disability, they need only make reasonable accommodations–that is, ones that do not interfere with the education of other students.

The school has tremendous responsibility here, and certainly it’s a good idea to find out if there’s a disability at work. But it is possible that the parents need to do something different from what they’re currently doing. That doesn’t mean the parents aren’t doing enough; maybe they’re just not aware of specific techniques that they can try at home.

Daniel

25

[QUOTE=RickJay]
This is off topic, but… a school where fourth grade kids are moved from classroom to classroom for different subjects? Where do they do THAT? That strikes me as being a little distracting for nine year olds; I thought they didn’t do that until high school, or late middle school at the very earliest.
[/QUOTE]

I seem to recall that in grade 4, we stayed put and the teachers came to us. Although now that I’m thinking about it, I can distinctly recall using at least 2 classrooms regularily at the school in which I did my last 2 months of the second grade.

26

[QUOTE=RickJay]
This is off topic, but… a school where fourth grade kids are moved from classroom to classroom for different subjects? Where do they do THAT?
[/QUOTE]

As soon as third grade at my school. 1970’s suburb north of Denver. Third grade we had two teachers, half a day with each. Fourth grade was 3 teachers, fifth and sixth grade was 4 teachers. Those numbers don’t count gym, art, or music classes, which each had their own teachers, but were not every day. 7th grade onward was six classes and six teachers per day, though the electives are included in that case.

To the OP: Grade school was hell for me, and things were not much better all the way through high school. Turns out I learn most things very well just by reading a book, and working on my own. This only became acceptable, in terms of getting good grades, when I got to college. Actually, I learn very well from instructors that are very prepared, well organized, and cover material quickly, If the teacher is holding back for the slow students, or stalling because they are unprepared, I lose interest.

I think my point is that if a kid can’t learn in the way he is being taught, he may well get the idea he can’t learn at all, thus tuning out when a better (for him) teaching style is tried.

27

[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
Have you considered one of those tutoring companies? I don’t have any experience with them, but I do have experience with “that kid” and it is frustrating. I wish I had better suggestions for you. Maybe one of the tutoring companies has a technique that will work with your boy. Good luck.
[/QUOTE]

Since I was unable to check back to this thread after I made it, I’ll respond in several different posts.

Kalhoun, I wish we had one of those companies nearby. You’re probably talking about Sylvan or something like it. The nearest one to us is more than a three hour drive from here. There are some local independent tutors, and his school offers some tutoring, which I’m sure he will have to participate in to keep from repeating another grade before he gets out of elementary school.

28

[QUOTE=Fetchund]
I’m confused about the timeline. Am I misreading it, or did his grades drop form a C to a D- while he was on the ADD drugs?
[/QUOTE]

No, you’re reading it correctly. That (the dropping of grades while on the meds) is the most disappointing thing about all of this.

29

[QUOTE=cher3]
My son’s kindergarten and first grade teachers were sure he had ADHD and we were faced with the possibility of having him evalated. But, as we understood it there was a lot more involved than just getting him on some prescription. He would have been getting individualized attention at school, too. Is there anything like that at the schools in your area? I also know that there are a number of centers in our area that work with kids–tutoring and techniques for helping them keep on track and so forth.

Sorry I’m being vague about the specifics, but we were fortunate in that my son seemed to “get it” by the end of first grade and is doing very well now. It helps that his current teacher raised 4 boys and doesn’t consider them to be alien creatures. My point is that I don’t think they should get off just throwing some pills at you and leaving you to figure out the rest.
[/QUOTE]

Back in December, we had a meeting with a group of teachers and advisers that calls itself a “strategic assistance team.” Fortunately, two of my son’s teachers are actually members of this team and were there to help us all (my husband and me, the principal, and other advisers) sort out fact from falsehood. See, my son would come home and tell us he had no homework then tell his teachers he had left it at home when it was due.

At that time, we all decided the best thing would be to have the individual teachers sign his assignment book. For a while, there was no problem, hence the momentary rise in the grades between the first and third grading periods. Around the same time, though, my son was prescribed the Adderall. His behavior and “pay attention” skills improved, but somehow, his grades slipped.

Being held back, which the school system euphemizes as “retention,” may have that eye-opening, moment-of-clarity effect though. He will be labelled as a “retained student” who will automatically have extra effort bestowed upon him.

I have yet to be able to discuss his being held back with his doctor. When we first put him on the meds, we were told that “just medication” won’t fix him. So far, he’s only been on them for a few months to see what effect they would have on him. His doctor would tell you that it’s time for a re-evaluation if she was asked. In fact, I bet it’s noted on his chart that I should schedule an appt with her when school lets out.

30

[QUOTE=Autolycus]
I am not a pyschopharmacologist, but, as one who studies it a bit and reads some articles, I feel compelled to tell you the following:

Be extremely careful before upping your son’s medication. Please please please consult a professional, or, better yet, consult two. The effect of such medicine in the long-term development of a child’s brain is largely untested. It may fix your child’s problem, or it may not, but the side-effects and consequences of either can be bad. IMO, it can also instill a feeling in your child that “medicine solves everything.”

Again, my point is really: Be careful with psychopharmaceuticals.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, I would never up his dose on my own sans advice from his doctor. She actually told us that we should consult with his teachers and, based on what they observe and what we witness at home, the need may arise for us to boost the 10mg up to 15mg on our own. She even wrote two separate prescriptions. One for the 10mg capsule and a separate one for the 5mg tablet just for that purpose.

I’ll check back and read more thoroughly everyone’s replies. Thanks to all who responded with so much information.

31

[QUOTE=cruel butterfly]
At that time, we all decided the best thing would be to have the individual teachers sign his assignment book. For a while, there was no problem, hence the momentary rise in the grades between the first and third grading periods. Around the same time, though, my son was prescribed the Adderall. His behavior and “pay attention” skills improved, but somehow, his grades slipped.

[/QUOTE]

This “somehow” confuses me. What’s happening in the “somehow”? Are his teachers no longer signing the assignment book? Are y’all no longer looking at the assignments in it? Are y’all looking at them but he’s defying you and refusing to do any homework? Is he doing the homework but losing it between home and school?

Daniel