So step right up, one and all! The doors are now open for Hal’s Dollar Store. That’s right…everything costs just a buck, and we’ve got absolutely anything and everything in stock. No matter what you’re looking for, we’ve got it. However, quantities are limited – only one item per customer, please.
So…what can I get’cha?
I’ll take the yellow lamborghini. Thanks.
I’d like some patience, please. Three or four buckets if you can manage.
Well? What are you still standing there for?!
A green laser pointer please.
A blue one for me, thanks.
“I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
I’d like some self-respect.
I used to have some, but it seems to have been taken away from me when I was unemployed, & I never got the old self-respect back.
Also, a pony.
I’ll take a self-cleaning house.
If that’s not in stock I want a friendly snuggly Manul cat. A friendly, snuggly one, mind. Not one that would happily chew my face off.
I’ll take a fully functioning Power Sword like He-Man had. No, make it two.
A modest, fully stocked complete with servants, beach home on Bora Bora please. Here’s a fiver. Keep the change. ::sigh::
err how much for a clue?
Everything a buck, eh? Well …
Ah, fuck it. Jumbo-sized Snickers bar, please.
Oh! Oh! Wait! Changed my mind!
I will buy your *respect * for a dollar, a la my sig! 
The grand-prize winning Mega Millions lottery ticket.
The Fountain of Youth.
Right now all I want is:
Perfect eyesight.
For all health insurance to be made comprehensible.
Got that in stock?
Uh yeah, I’ll take your store.
:: hands over one (1) American dollar ::
Pleasure doing business with you.
People, people…please, stop asking if we have “such and such” in stock. As clearly stated, we have everything!
Of course, the “one item per customer” rule is cardinal here. That means that Mindfield, Bosda, Cluricaun, D_Odds and Anaamika all get violently tossed out by our crack bouncer squad for violating store policy.
Oh, and sorry jali…no credit issued here.
Everyone else, enjoy your new homes/cars/laser pointers/candy bars/etc., and thanks for shopping at Hal’s!
:ponders if SR47’s attempted purchase should be handed over to the legal team or the bouncers:
Wait, is this the jerkstore? 'Cause I heard you’re running out of me.
If not, I’d like an Everlasting Gobstopper.
I’d like to purchase a flock of sheep.
So I can rescue them from you.
We still haven’t forgotten .
