Man! Does everyone know my credit score?
Could you please e-mail me a list of all your cheap sheep items
:Comes back in, looking sheepish:
OK, can I just buy the perfect eyesight then?
Wait, wait!
Was that one single, solitary item all by itself, or one type of item? Because, you know, there’s an important distinction to be made here and I resent being thrown out for lack of clarification here! I’d like a full copy of your rules and regulations, please.
Oh, dammit! Can I return that last item?
“Cling cling”, is the store still open? Good, then I would like to get that thingy which goes zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft when you start it up. But do not touch it yet, I have to buy it first, or else it will go zffffffooooooit clang wrrr wrrrr wrrrr wrrrr eeee puf, and grow into a large robot and wreck up the place. So, heres your dollar, and… zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft! Thanks! Zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft! Nice doing business with you 
Zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft! Come on buddy, lets go wreck some havoc. Zffffffooooooit clang wrrr? Not yet buddy. Zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft! Zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft! Zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft!
Hmmmm…Hal?
This man wants to buy a lifetime supply of Prozac. Stat.
It is nice and sunny day in a forresty kind of landscape with birds singing and bumblebees buzzing. Right in the midle of this wondrous scenery there is nice little store. Outside the store there seems to be two people, but with a closer look it is obvious that it is a huge robot and a dude. The robot fumes zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft now and then, and the dude has his hands in his pocket and is looking up in the sky. Entering the store there is one customer and the storekeeper:
-customer: Hmmmm…Hal? This man wants to buy a lifetime supply of Prozac. Stat.
-shopkeeper: Why’s that, Bosda?
-customer: becuase, outside he has a huge robot and is ready to unleash hell out there!
-shopkeeper: do you think the Prozak will help any?
-customer: I dont know, but we gotta do something.
-shopkeeper: maybe we should go outside and try it out then. You go first.
-customer: ehm, why do’nt you go first, since you’re the shopkeep I mean…
-shopkeeper: come on pal, you bought the stuff, now you git out there and try it!
-customer: (grumbles under his breath) awright…
Outside the dude still keeps looking up in the sky, and the huge robot still fumes his zffffoooooit poing ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft now and then.
-customer: um, excuse me sir, but we think that this havoc thing you’re planning, it has to stop. I mean, it has to not evolve, you know, not happen.
-dude: what do you mean? What havoc?
-customer: um, you did ask you’re robotthingy here to follow you and, I quote, “Come on buddy, lets go wreck some havoc.”.
-dude: oh, that havoc. Why not?
-customer: what do you mean that havoc? It’s wrong to wreck havoc, you have got to stop it. Here, take this prozac.
-dude: what do I want with some prozac?
-customer: I do’nt know, give it to the robot then.
-dude: oh no, my friend, we would not want to do that. You see prozac tripples the fut capacitator in this here robot, and speeds up the fut fut cycle. If this robot skips a beat, you know a fut, then a fut would go straight up to a clang wrrr, and this here robot would be wrecking havoc in tripple speed. That would be tripple the havoc. Nasty.
-customer: I need some prozac…
That’s some great customer service you’ve got going here pal. Just so you know, you’re crack smoking bouncers weren’t coherent enough to relieve me of your merchandise, so I’ve nicked the swords. Naaaah!
I believe you’ll find my request to be perfectly compliant with your store policy. You said you had everything, and your store certainly falls under that umbrella. And I only asked for one of them.
I vill not buy zis record, it is scratched.
I sympathize with Hal. He’s not been open for an hour, and Bertrand Russell has to walk in.
I would like to buy a giant dump truck piled high with bundles of $10,000 bearer bonds, please! You don’t mind if I pay you in pennies, right? I’m a little short this week… just like every other goddamned week, grr grump…
I would like to buy a giant dump truck piled high with bundles of $10,000 bearer bonds, please! You don’t mind if I pay you in pennies, right? I’m a little short this week… just like every other goddamned week, grr grump…
And after I get it home, first thing I’ll do is buy a second giant dump truck, because my friend and I have always wanted to race those things… We’re simple creatures, really… 
Is it related to the machine that goes “ping!”?
Can’t be, because that’s the most expensive machine in the hospital, but the robot only cost a dollar! 
I’ll take one of those waterfront properties in Ft. Lauderdale. One with a couple of pools, hot tub, a dock, huge yard, cabana boy, 4-car garage, Berber carpets, and a wall of glass overlooking the ocean.
No, no, the machine that goes “ping!” and the most expensive machine in the hospital are two different machines.
The machine that goes “ping!” has a use - it tells us your baby is still alive. The other one is merely to impress the adminstrator.
That’s OK, 'cause I’m their all-time best seller.
Hal, I’d like to buy your forgiveness because I took a big liberty over here.
I want…a lightsaber. And a naked Ewan McGregor to be my slave. Oh, and I’d like an iced cold IBC cream soda.
Watch out for those bouncers Guin!