What does this cost?..Oh! and this?..and this is pretty cool. What does it cost if I want it in blue?..Oh, and do you have have the fat-free kind of these?..Hmmm…do you deliver? Oh, my neighbor got one of those with chrome on it and only paid .79. Would you be willing to come down a little on the price?..What kind of buyer protection plan comes with it? … Do I have to pay cash or will you accept Discover card?, Amex, Carte Blanche? Green Stamps? What’s your return policy? Is this your only location, because I’m just visiting and I’ve never seen your store back in Walla Walla… Is this the only size this comes in?..How late are you open? I know the sign on the door says 7 pm but I just wanted to be sure if I decide to come back later…Do you take Canadian money? I’ve got some left over from my trip to Moose Jaw and I’d like to get rid of it…
Well, if it’s EVERYTHING for a buck, I’ll take the entire multidimensional infinity of all creation, please…
so, logically that must also mean I get my dollar back, right, after all, I AM buying the universe itself and everything in it…
Dammit, MacTech, I wanted to buy that! Hal, do you have another one?
Oooo, sorry. While we do stock everything, we only stock one of everything.
Now then, to address everyone else’s questions: hell with this, I’m converting to an automat. Of course, we’ll still sell everything, so it’ll have to be a really big automat, but what the hey, rent is cheap in this area.
Me, I’m going to take a buck from the till and buy me some omnipotence.
And don’t sweat it, gigi…I’d have posted that same link. 
I’d like to buy a gift certificate for unlimited purchases, please.
But i AM buying one thing, the UNIverse, UNI, implying one
sounds like false advertising to me, Hal…
Hey hey hey, calm down there MacTech. Don’t worry, you’ve got your universe…it’s moonstarssun who is outta luck, trying to buy the universe after I already sold it to you.
Unless, of course, moonstarssun can prove some sort of prior claim on username grounds. That’s one for the lawyers, though.
Hi Hal, I’ll take one winning valid, unredeemed lottery ticket worth at least $10,000,000. That should do it nicely. If you can find one for $11,000,000 or higher, I will pay everyones subscription to the dope for the next few years.
Jim
:: wanders store, looking at shelves, muttering ::
:: checks catalogue at inquiries desk ::
:: vanishes into Annex of Large-Scale Items for a while ::
:: returns, muttering something about ‘planets’ ::
:: checks out Gardening, Cookware, and Grown-Up Toys Departments ::
:: returns to inquiries desk and goes through catalogue again, checking availabilities ::
:: looks around ::
:: pauses ::
:: almost leaves store ::
:: comes to a decision ::
:: marches up to order desk ::
I’d like a rejuvenation treatment please, to the following specs:
My body to be returned to the most optimal version of the state it was in in 1991: with dental caries, trick knee, hearing loss, and nearsightedness removed.
My mind to remain intact, retaining my memories, intelligence, skills, and learning, but removing depression and lack of confidence.
And all ID and public records to be updated as part of the rejuve.
May I have some popcorn? Jumbo sized?
Thank you kindly!
why cant i think of anything i want? i’m sure there is definitely stuff i want dammit. and i’m sure its not the baby bunny rabbit that is popping into my head for some reason.
Wouldn’t your bouncer squad be more efficient if they weren’t on crack?
I can’t decide what I want. Something that will remove all stress from my life without killing me might be nice. I don’t think such a thing exists.
I want to decide who lives and who dies. /Crow
I’ll take one 20 gauge shotgun, one Uzi, and one phased-plasma rifle in the 40 mW range.
Tripler
You don’t have it? I’ll be baaaack.