I always wanted to go into a 24 hour Home Depot at 3 a.m. and buy a roll of duct tape, large plastic bags and a shovel just to see the look on the cashiers face.
Does anyone else have a strange combination of items to buy to mess with the check -out people?
How about a box of condoms, a pack of cigarettes, some strawberries, and…a porno magazine?
Add some Preparation H to that and you’re set!
A bag of apples and a pack of razor blades.
On Oct. 30.
Not at a retail store, but…
I was nearing completion of my helicopter training. It was a warm, beautiful night over Burbank, and the doors were off. It looked so peaceful down there! I said over the intercom to my instructor, ‘It’s such a beautiful night! On nights like these do you ever get the urge to drop a pumpkin over a residential street and scream as loud as you can as it falls?’
My instructor looked at me for several beats and then said, ‘You’re weird, John.’
I have a routine down for going to my Physical Therapist (shoulder surgery).
Take the elevator up to the third floor, walk into the public bathroom come out and get a quick drink of water. Walk down the hall and go to PT.
Sometimes people are waiting and see me come off the elevator.
My plan would be to dash down the stairs where no one would see me, and come back up the elevator and repeat again, and again.
A big box of Immodium AD (that’s the diarrhea stopper, right?) and a couple enemas. And a disposable camera.
The perfect illustration of this theme (do check the mousover): xkcd: Collecting Double-Takes
One of my favorites: What would happen if you bought 25 bottles of Nyquil?
Irish comedian Ed Byrne says he likes to go into a supermarket with his girlfriend, fill the trolley to the brim with booze, and throw a pack of diapers on top. Then he gets the cashier to total it up, looks shocked at the total, says he doesn’t have enough for all of that - and asks if he can put the diapers back. (He claims the cashiers often offer to buy the diapers out of their own pocket.)
Saw this in real life; box of Immodium and a bottle of laundry detergent. :eek:
During the next census: fava beans, chianti, meat thermometer.
This reminds me of when I was a teenager.
Me and my friend went to the store and bought 10 cartons of eggs at about 10pm.
The cashier didn’t even blink an eye.
The OP made me chuckle. Brilliant!
I’ve posted this before, but I once sold a guy, at about 3 AM, some beer, a box of cat food, and a tub of Vaseline. Before I could even react, he said, “It’s not what it looks like.”
Joe
I work for a Fortune 50 company that makes, in addition to a ton of other things, skin care products. (Our line rhymes with Bo-lay.) Anywho, part of my job is to make sure our display shelves are filled with current product. Believe it or not, the most economical way to do this is to simply go to Walmart or Target and buy them retail (because we can only order them by the case internally).
So every quarter or so, I walk up to the cashier with $700 worth of every possible sku of facial moisurizer, foam cleanser, mask, etc. I’m 43. I wonder what the cashier thinks when she sees me.
“Man, that’s an extreme reaction to her first wrinkle.”
“It isn’t helping.”
I used to be a breakfast hostess at a Fairfield Inn. I put out the continental breakfast every day and made coffee, cleaned the area, etc. My last task, about every or every other day, was to walk to the supermarket and buy fruit for the next couple of days. The cheapest, most popular fruit was bananas. I was constantly buying several bunches at a time.
After a few weeks of me walking in at 10AM most days and purchasing five bunches of bananas, a cashier finally asked me, “hey, what’s up with all the bananas?”
Me: “I have a pet gorilla.”
Her: :eek:
I had a friend who used to like to buy “item combinations.”
Carrots, condoms, and vaseline.
Pregnancy tests, KY jelly, rubber gloves, and wire coat hangers.
Pregnancy tests and ammo.
One of those “make your own will kits,” a five-gallon gas can, and a box of matches.
Diapers and box wine.
Baby food and duct tape.
And, one time, he poured something red (I think it was Kool-aid) down the front of his shirt, staggered into a Wal-Mart, and bought a box of tampons “for his girlfriend.” Gross.
Sometimes I go into a place with a large bill, buy something small, like a candy bar, and then insist the change be all in two-dollar bills.
That’s just retarded. You’ll take what the cashier has for change, or you’ll walk out empty-handed.
Joe