Today the girl in front of me bought rolling papers AND cigarettes. I laughed and said it shows she’s not going to use the papers for tobacco.
But that made me start wondering what other typical product combinations would imply what you are about to do
Here’s what I have so far.
A bottle of wine and 3 condoms?
A family pack of seasoned taco beef and a 12 pack of toilet paper?
A tube of KY jelly and a cucumber (could be entirely innocent)
A gun, a cart of cleaning material, a shovel, and some blankets
A case of beer, a first aid kit, condoms, and a fireplace poker
I forget what comedian said it, but he asked if you are a clerk checking out a whole cart of groceries whether to judge if the amount of toilet paper is equal to the food.
A few months ago I saw someone buying 6 gallons of bleach. I still can’t fathom what he needed that much for. He lives in the same apartment complex as one of my employees and stops in to say hi to her pretty often, I can tell you from both first and second hand knowledge that he constantly walks the thin line between overly nice and really creepy. It wouldn’t surprise me to see his neighbors on the news starting out with “He was such a nice guy, I never would have guessed…”
Heck, I’ve bought rolling papers and cigarettes before. I was on an errand: my buddy and I needed smokeables. He smoked tailor-mades, and I smoked hand-rolleds. Entirely innocent–both of us smoked tobacco and neither of us had any use for drugs.
On the other hand, I have bought paint (for the walls) and paint remover (for a piece of furniture I was working on) at the same time. Probably confused the clerk at the cash register.
I bought some purple rubber gloves and some Astroglide and only those two item one time at a local store. They honesty were not for using together. Not that i wouldn’t they just weren’t. I somehow must have been thinking of something else because I was not thinking of the combo at the time but the young girl at the register picked up on it right away.
Um, let me have one of those porno magazines… a large box of condoms… a bottle of Old Harper… a couple of those panty shields… andsomeillegalfireworks… and one of those disposable enemas. Ah, make it two.
I had one of these moments a couple of weeks ago - I went to the supermarket to buy just a case of beer, and then I remembered I had run out of razor blades. So I get to the checkout, and all that’s in my trolley is 24 cans of booze and some blades.
To his credit, the guy on the till didn’t say a word.
When I was a checker at Safeway back in the day I would routinely encounter teenagers buying 6 or 7 12-packs of toilet paper at 1100pm. Or the time a couple came in about that same time and just bought condoms, strawberries, and whipped cream.
