My stupid human trick for the day

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I’m sitting here at work, and out the corner of my eye I see a hair coming in and out of the edge of my vision. It was mildly distracting, so reached with my hand to try to grab it. It didn’t seem to be on my head, the side of my face, or even the shoulder of my sweater. It was kinda frustrating and it dawned on me that I had experienced the same thing yesterday morning at work.

Well, it only took me about 5 minutes of eyestrain peering out of the corner of my eye, accompanied by pawing at myself like a monkey, to realize that what I actually was seeing was a reflection on the carpet of the morning sun shining on a laminated badge that I had hanging on a ficus behind me that was slowly and erratically twisting back an forth.

Whadda maroon!

2

Beware ficuses (fici ?).

Little known facts about ficuses:

  1. John Wilkes Booth was actually aiming at a taunting ficus.
  2. A ficus distracted a passenger stubbing out his cigar causing the fire aboard the
    Hindenburg.
  3. A life-long allergy to ficuses prompted Roger Clemens to experiment with HHG to aleviate his symptoms.

Next time, go with a nice fern.

3

But if your car is hit by a ficus tree, you’re covered.