My theory on the plot for STAR WARS: Ep. 3 (ROTS)

Cafe Society
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C3PO belonged to Anakin, and R2D2 belonged to his wife. It makes sense that they would stay together all the time.

Then most likely they were turned over to Organa when he took the couple’s daughter. They maintained their domestic relationship because they were always owned by the same person. So they were always in the same house or palace or whatever. Leia most likely would take the two droids, who have helped look after her since birth, on her super important “diplomatic mission” in Episode 4.

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I don’t see why a sufficiently gifted director such as Lucas couldn’t combine the two Anakin-crippling scenarios to create greater dramatic effect. I could see an incredibly choreographed light saber battle high above the boiling caldera, the culmination of the three decade-long cinematic odyssey. Suddenly Obi-Wan stumbles, beaten down by exhaustion and Anakin’s brutally efficient Sith training. Anakin has his old master at his mercy, but something…a flicker of lost humanity, perhaps?..leads him to hesitate. Obi-Wan sees the opening, and realizing the awesome power his former padawan will bring to the Dark Side should he prevail, seizes the opportunity and strikes. With a desperate cry of rage and betrayal Anakin stumbles back and plunges headlong into the searing lava below.

At first it appears that the volcano has triumphed…but then, a crackle of Sith energy appears amid the smokes and steams. Like a hideous revenant, the scarred and burnt figure crawls forth from the molten soup, scorched cyborg components sparking madly.

At that moment, Mace Windu appears at the edge of the crater, a Tatooine slave detonator in hand. As he depresses the switch, the figure on the shore is engulfed in a fireball of devastation. The smoke clears…and Anakin is still crawling forward!

Then Yoda appears from behind Mace, strides forward and sprays Anakin right in the eyes with anti-midichlorian spray, causing him to scream and claw at his face.

Then Amidala appears and hits him over the head with a baseball bat.

Then R2-D2 scoots forward and zaps him in the head with that electrode prong thingy.

Then Chewbacca appears, tears his arm off, and beats him with it.

Then Jar-Jar appears and urinates on him.

After that, the scene plays out pretty much like that one similar scene from Airplane.

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Well, when I visited the set, this is what I learned…

Nah, just kidding. When I visited the set all I saw was a set.

But I can reveal some confirmed plot elelemts. I just won’t reveal them here.

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But in episode 4 C3PO seems to have no idea who Princess Leia is or why a recording of her would be in R2D2’s memory. If she was his owner, you’d think he’d say “That’s our owner, Princess Leia.”
But on the other hand, if the droids don’t belong to Leia (and why else would C3PO not recognize her?) then there is not plausible explanation for why they happen to be on the same ship as her. So I dunno. Maybe Leia wipes C3PO’s memory again for some reason, right before she sends them off to Obi-wan?

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It’s actually been confirmed that 3PO’s memory will be erased. But what I find most fascinating is that it is not confirmed whether or not the same will happen to R2.

I personally really like the thought of R2 being the only character who knows what’s going on the whole time.

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Are you kidding? Have you tasted those vile little pasta rings? They are nasty, they evile, they are Dark.

Wait a minute…

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Pfft. It’s not like it’s a big deal.

Leia: Threepio - do not in any way acknowledge knowing me or who I am.
3P0: Who said that?

-Joe, goto 10

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When you wipe a droid’s memory, do they flash 12:00 or is the BIOS completely gone so they can’t find a floppy let alone the hard drive?

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If the stories take place “A long time ago…” the droids are running on CP/M.

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And do you need double-ply paper to wipe with, or is the cheap stuff OK?

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Question: Does Anakin/Darth start out wearing a white version of the Darth outfit? Sounds silly, but a couple fanboys I know said it was so…

Is it?

Sir Rhosis

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The bonus disc of the trilogy shows it to be black from the start.

Perhaps a different color based on his mood?

I could dig a bright yellow suit and cape.

Better yet, a suit made of mood ring material?

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Can you at least tell me if we get to see a naked Obi-Wan?

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I can confirm that he gets wet.

But in full regalia. Sorry.

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Good gad, may we get serious here?
I believe that we have determined that Darth Vader wasn’t turned to the Dark Side by fashion.
Nor by vulcanism, nor personal explosive implant devices.

Lord Vader, my friends, was turned by Chef Boy Ar Dee.

YSCMV

(Your spell checker may vary)

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Chef BoyR2?

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Honey child, you can already. Go get Trainspotting. He lets it all hang out.

Back to the post:

THE CRAWL:
STAR WARS
Episode III
REVENGE OF THE SITH

After ten long years of war, peace is at hand in the Galaxy. The last remnants of the old Federation (eat it, Trekkies) have been broken up. The leader of the Nimoydians, Viceroy Knut Gunray, is in flight from the Republic and justice.

But all is not yet well. The Jedi Knights, protectors of order, harmony, and the Krabby Patty secret formula, have taken heavy losses. The renegade Jedi, Count Douku, remains elusive, as do the mysterious Sith lords. And there remains a substantial clone army to be dealt with. It’s not like they can be retrained, they’re all the same. They can’t all become middle managers in an upcoming computer firm and settle down with that well-mannered but decidedly loose chick from Dantooine. Even she has limits.

And so a boring task force is assembled to address these issues, half the matter will be lost in committee, the paperwork alone could make a Ungtho shriek, blah blah yakkity schmakkity. The Republic is about as interesting to watch as city council meetings on public access, I mean Jesus…

Details of the plot are hard to decipher. Not only do they have to kill or eliminate a whooole lot of people, they introduce new ones like the ill-named General Grievous. I can’t for the life of me figure out how Wookieworld figures in this, and that’s the main thing I want to see. And I’m still convinced Boba Fett will flit through yet again, just to kill Sam Jackson off.

That said, I’m convinced that:

The Rebel “Alliance” will be between Amidala’s planet, Alderaan, the Wookies, and whatever’s left of the Federation. Yes, they’ve been the heavies for most of the prequels, but they’ve also been Palpatine’s expendable puppets. They will want their own back.

Douku is Anakin’s father, and Anakin will kill him. But the only reason he starts down the Dark path is to hunt the Sith down from the inside. He’ll grow into the evil instead of overcoming it.

After his lava bath (probably at ground level on the capital, seems like there were open faults), Vader’s first appearance in the suit will be in the Senate as Palpatine’s muscle. This will be the moment when Palpatine refuses to stand down the troops and surrender his emergency powers. Jar Jar Binks will stand to deliver a speech to rescind the emergency powers (seeing as he started them in the first place.) Vader then Force-chokes him to death as a warning to others.

Chewbacca will be the coolest thing in the whole movie, as usual. Only this time, we’ll get a whole planet full of him, and he might get to DO something besides stand around. This will be the only thing making ROTS worth seeing.

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This would be the all time greatest moment in Star Wars history. Too bad Lucas won’t have the balls to make it happen.

Good point. Maybe it was because he was wearing that restrictor gizmo still. And it was messing up his hard drive, and preventing him from identifying his owner. Wouldn’t the Jawas want a device that makes stolen droids forget they’re stolen.

Ok, that’s a stretch. I do believe though, that Luke says “I’m here with Ben Kenobi, we have YOUR droids!” when he rescues her.

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“I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.”

“You’re who?”

“Luke Skywalker. We found your Artoo unit. I’m here with Ben Kenobi.”

“Ben Kenobi? Where?”

“Come on!”

Of course, that’s stictly from memory, but I’ll bet I did a good job.

-Joe, too cool to ever try to be cool by using the term ‘ubergeek’

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From what Lucas has said, it will only be one or two scenes across which Anakin falls completely. Remember, it doesn’t take too much for a force sensitive individual to fall to the Dark Side. If Luke had finished off his father, he would have fallen right there on the spot, like Palpatine said.