I’m in a somewhat similar situation. I spend about half my time away from home in two week blocks. Up until recently my 3 year old daughter had always openly preferred me. If she wanted a water, Mummy wasn’t allowed to get it for her, Daddy had to do it. If she wanted to go to the toilet, Daddy had to go with her. And at bed time I’d read her a couple of books then she’d go get Mummy then she’d give Daddy kisses and then say “Not Mummy, bye bye, see ya later.” My wife took it in her stride and professed to not caring, I don’t know if that’s entirely true or not. Anyway, recently there’s been a flip and now at bed time it’s kisses for Mummy then, “not Dad, bye bye, see ya later.”
How do I deal with it? I think it’s hilarious actually. She’ll work out her relationship with us eventually and in the meantime she’s just going through phases.
I recommend the book Playful Parenting. The author talks about a period where his young daughter wouldn’t interact with his wife, who was busy in med school while he was the stay at home dad. As the title suggests, his approach is playing with kids to get the changes you want.
Sweetie, she’s two. She’s fine. She’ll go through a LOT of phases during her life. You *will *give her a complex, however, if you put everything she does under a microscope looking for a neurosis-in-the-making. Loosen up a little. Relax.
My first thought was you might check your breath. My second thought was if you want her closer to you, start reading one of her books out loud for yourself. Make funny voices for the different characters and make comments, like “That is the biggest red dog I’ve ever seen! He’s bigger than that house!” She’ll get curious and join you.
It is COMPLETELY normal for a child of that age to do “swapsies”. The child is flexing their ever growing POWER muscle. She has begun to understand that HER actions have effects on others. She finds this a very interesting experiment!
Your job is to show her that her experiment will not change you! This month she will prefer mummy to daddy, 3 months from now she will prefer Dora the Explorer to either of you, the next month she WILL NOT go to bed unless daddy is here!
Your job is to stand strong and not change (your feelings may get hurt in the process), she is just flexing that muscle, you are the punching bag.
I also recommend this book. It’s engaging, thought-provoking, inspiring, funny and filled with practical advice. Worth buying, I’ve read it numerous times when I needed a re-adjustment in my behaviors.