My Vacation (or Fear and Loathing in Williamsburg, VA)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

The Trip Down
Threw the family unit into the Durango along with a case each of Nicorrette, Diet Coke, and Budweiser, and off we went down I95. We hit some rush hour turbulence near Washington DC, but cruised into the world-reknowned Hampton Inn just outside Colonial Williamsburg around 8:30 P.M.

“You requested a smoking room Sir.”

“No, I most certainly did not. I’m travelling with a small child, I have quit smoking long before I made these reservations, and if you try to put me into a room filled with somebody else’s used smoke, it is certain to drive me into a nicotine induced homicidal frenzy.”

“We don’t have any non-smoking rooms left.”

“I realize this mix-up is not your fault Nicole, but I received a confirmation in the mail, which I have right here, that says I have a guarranteed reservation in a non-smoking room. I think it best if you do what you need to do to fulfill that obligation.” I clacked my nicotine gum meaningfully at Nicole, the unpleasant bumpkin behind the desk.

She looked at me with undisguised resentment. I had pinned her into the most horrifying situation possible for one such as herself; the need to make an independant decision.

Sure enough she futzed around with the computer for a minute or so, and then produced room keys to a non-smoking room.

Day One: Bush Gardens

Cruised into Bush Gardens at 9:45 Thursday Morning. The parking lot was basically empty. I felt like the Griswold family in Vacation as I parked the Queen Family Cruiser (read “Durango”) far from the entrance to avoid the madding crowd when we exited.

My 19 mos. old daughter sat upright and excited in her Stroller and I held my wife’s hand as we strolled toward the park entrance.

The park was basically empty and quiet except for young well-behaved families like ourselves. The park was extremely pleasant well-kept, and fun. We saw the Clydesdales, and went to Jack Hannah’s Wildlife reserve. Some Bald eagles sat around in a “canyon.” Some wolves were trotted out for our amusement, and then magic struck!

We went into the Lorikeet cage! That’s right, they let us in! We walked through the enclosure for half an hour while little well-behaved colorful birds sang, and hopped on our fingers. My daughter was in heaven. My little daughter held out both arms, with about five birds on each, and two o n her head, and just laughed with delight. I took a picture. Magic.

Next stop was The Loch Ness Monster Roller Coaster. One of Busch Gardens four main rides.

Mommy and Baby waited while I just strolled right through the nonexistent line and seated myself in the front car of the steel beast.

Clack. Clack. Clack. A moderate climb. Whoosh. a tight turn, two loops A corkscrew in pitch blackness. a few more turns and out I go.

The Loch Ness Monster is the oldest roller coaster in the park, and showing it’s age. Thoroughly enjoyable, but quite tame by today’s standards. A good warm up.

Now the park is divided up into several different “Countries.” I’m not sure what country the Loch Ness Monster was in, but after that he headed over to France. This part of France had a Quebecois trading post kind of feel, and, naturally, a flume ride.

My wife is the water ride buff, so off she went while I sat with my little snookums.

“Did you see your picture?” The attendant asked.
“What?”
“Didn’t you just get off the ride?”
“No, I’m waiting for my wife. She’s riding, our baby is too small.”
“Can she walk?”
“Yeah.”
“They’ll let her on if you want.”

Hmmm. The entry sign has one of those “you must be this tall.” deals by it. If you stacked three of my daughters together the might reach that height.

What the hell, I’ll hold her tight. She’s fearless.

I ran down and caught up with the Mrs. With severe misgivings I clutched my daughter as we road the flume. She loved it until the first big drop. She tensed up but didnt’ scream. The big drop at the end, she tensed up for a second then just went completely limp.

We of course bought the picture at the sales booth.

For the next two hours my daughter wore the same blank catatonic expression she had acquired on the flume. It’s like she was thinking “I can’t believe those idiots actually took me on a ride.”

We ate at the Festhaus in Germany. Excellent food and I drank a lot of beer. Then we went to the Land of Little Dragons Which is basically kiddieland. My daughter played through the giant treehouse and slides and had the time of her life watching the dragon show (kinda like Barney the Dinosaur.)

I rode the second Roller Coaster “The Big Bad Wolf” which was a suspended coaster that was so tame, I suggested my wife ride it, which she did. She liked it, which means it was pretty pathetic since she gets motion sickness if I drive over a bump too fast.

Next stop was Italy. We sat in the “ruins” of a Roman theatre and watched a show of “Italian songs you love.” It featured decent production values, surprisingly talented performers and a list of proven crowd pleasers like “That’s Amore,” and “Volare.” I drank beer and my wife had a cappucino while my daughter devastated a blueberry muffin. Then we hit a couple of Kiddie Rides before heading off to the next Conquest, “Appollo’s Chariot.”

“Appollo’s Chariot” is supposedly the largest steel roller Coaster in the world.

It had a new kind of seat. You sat up high, and the top half of your body is basically free. A padded rest comes down onto your thighs and locks you into place.

It climbed very very high. Damn! And dropped more than straight down, actually giving you negative g’s as it plunged in about 110 degree dive!

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” I shouted, genuinely about to shit my pants, as I felt like I was about to fly out of the coaster and splat onto the concrete.

Then it repeats the trick curving up and pulling pack down, so you again feel like you are gonna rip free of your restraints. I thought of the pimply-faced kid who desultorily had checked to make sure the safety bar was tight enough before departure. Had I really trusted my life to that moron?

Everything held and after a satisfying ride we pulled into the station. There was throw-up on the ground being cleaned up as I exited. Not mine though. Damn satisfying. First class!

We then both rode a water ride “Escape from Pompeii” which was short and tame, but fun. Then we drank more Beer in Germany while I sat in the chicken out zone and regarded “The Alpengeist.” Alpengeist is the last big coaster at the park. It’s a suspended hands and legs free steel monstrosity, with huge drops, inverted loops and twists, and hard turns. Truly first class.

I would leave that one for tomorrow, as there was quite a bit of Beer in my system.

We then headed over to “Ireland,” which was the new country which didn’t officially open until Saturday, but was having a “Soft-opening” all week.

There we saw the “O’Sullivan’s Castle” show, which was a mix between Star Wars (with a green light Saber) and The Leprechaun. Good production values, bad show.

We then shopped and went back to the Hotel.

It was a great day. The park was clean, beautiful, the staff was super-friendly and helpful, the rides fun, and there was something for everybody. All in all a magical day.

2

Hmmm…just not the same without a dead grandma in the station wagon and Chevy Chase oogling some Pamela Anderson wanabee… :wink:

3

Things had changed. For one, the park was a lot more crowded with several school class trips.

Worse though, the character had changed. The day before the average guest was a family. Today the average guest was a young urban black adolescent. Few if any, were attended by adults, and the behavior was very bad.

I hate to draw this dichotomy, but I’m going to call it as I see it. In this day, and in this place, the students who wore school t-shirts and were there as a group were generally well-behaved and pleasant. The young black adolescents were terrifying. They would run recklessly through the park at full speed, shouting and running into people. I had to carry my daughter for fear that she wasn’t safe in the stroller. Seemingly every one of them had an Anheuser-Bush basketball, and they dribbled and played and threw the balls around with reckless abandon.

I witnessed several incidents where older folks and small children were knocked over or hit with basketballs, or run into by these careless youths. No apologies were forthcoming, nor any care or consideration. Several times I found myself the victim of that unnamed game where these youths deliberately walk into your path and refuse to turn a shoulder or step-aside even if they have plenty of clearance on their side and you have none. I’m a pretty big guy, and when this happened, I would stop dead, turn aside and become all-elbows and hips while I protected my daughter.

At one point a football was being thrown back and forth over a walking path. I saw an attendant politely tell the boys in question that it was getting a little too crowded for this, and would they please stop. They gave her the finger and laughed at her belligerently.

I don’t know what, if anything to make of it, and don’t really care to go into it here, except to say these kids needed better supervison and upringing long before they came to the park, and I’m afraid the park is going to have to enforce it’s code of conduct for guests a lot more strongly if they wish to retain a safe family atmosphere.

The rest of the day was spent trying to find quiet areas off the beaten path. We succeeded and had a good time, seeing the debut performance of the Irish Step-dancing show in Ireland (with imported actors.) This one was quite excellent.

We had a delicious smoked beef brisket in Aquitaine, shopped some more, found kiddie land had acquired a more adolescent and roughhousing character.

Alpengiest had an hour and a half wait, and alas I didn’t ride it. We shopped quited a bit saw more shows, had fun at the petting zoo, and called it a day.

It was a good day as well, but nothing like the previous.

4

Just weird, and not that much fun. The ticket was over-priced and the museum’s seemed poor, and not that informative and fun.

The whole thing felt like a ghost town. The colonial characters went through their business basically ignoring the tourists, and pretending they were living in the past. The whole set up didn’t work too well in my opinion.

The basic guest was either an older guy, doing the historic thing, or a bored school kid forced to be there.

We spent the day there, feeling like we owed it to ourselves to absorb some history or something.

Back to the hotel, and today we drove home.

5

Oh, I attended “Beer School” at Grogan’s Pub in IReland on day two, but had to leave early because my daughter started to act up, and I didn’t want to ruin it for anybody else.

Therefore, I’m a beer school dropout and didn’t get my diploma. :frowning:

6

Um…if the museums were “poor,” which ones did you go into?? I’ve probably been in every house there, and I loved it. Admittedly, if you’re not a history buff, you’ll hate it.

Also, it probably WAS a ghost town…college just let out, and tourist season hasn’t started yet. :slight_smile:

7

Scylla, if I may, I’ve got a Williamsburg story of my own.

Picture, if you will, my seventh grade year of school. The headmaster, one Mister Jody Dobson, was a very touchy-feely kinda guy, whose brief period of rule at my school is not-so-affectionately referred to by all as “Jody’s Playground.” Jody’s philosophy was to not really have any rules, but just to expect that everybody got along and treated each other as equals.

Needless to say, this philosophy did not work at a school inhabited only by adolescent boys.

Every year the 8th grade boys got a trip to Toronto, Canada. Fearing that us 7th graders would feel left out and underappreciated, good ol’ Jody decided to create the school’s first 7th grade trip.

It would be the last.

The destination? Colonial Williamsburg.

Over the three-day weekend that we were provided with, my classmates and I proved exactly why it is not a good idea to turn 100 pubescent boys who are used to being stifled by coats and ties loose on an unsuspecting theme park with only 4 chaperones among them.

Exhibit A: One of the students (not a friend of mine, we had more class) had to be kicked out of the powder cellar for attempting to grab the musket. Multiple times.

Exhibit B: Mischief wasn’t just confined to the park, neither. Two students decided to have a water fight on two balconies that were next to each other, and ended up “including” some of the hotel residents on a lower floor.

Exhibit C: The Ghost Tour, on which we made the guide go hoarse from yelling at us.

Altogether, it was a fun trip. I didn’t directly partake in any of the goings-on, but it was amusing to watch. One of our teachers quite literally snapped, and began screaming at us while he broke down in tears. The other teachers laughed.

The best review that any of the guides gave our group was, and I repeat, “We understand why your children are such discipline problems. After all, we work with many groups from special schools on a regular basis.”

Not the reputation that a big prep school was really going for but hey, it’s something.

So, Scylla, I must apologize, but it seems that myself and my compatriots were part of the problem that you spoke of. Kudos for being able to deal with brats like us so calmly.

8

Falcon:

To be fair, after two full days in Busch Gardens, we were probably not in the best frame of mind to do the Colonial Williamsburg thing.

I like Gettysburg fine, my biggest complaint with Colonial Williamsburg, was that the actors didn’t really make it come alive. They didn’t seem willing to interact with anybody besides other actors, except grudgingly.

For example, the horse cart pulled up to the governor’s mansion and parked. A whole bunch of people clustered around, including us.

People were trying to ask “What kind of horses are those? Where can I get a ride?” and such.

The driver ignored them all and stared straight ahead.

A little later the “Governor” came out attended by two ladies. He ignored all questions, loaded the two ladies and himself into the cart.

“To the apothecary shop, first,” he said conversationally, in a voice so low that I doubt hardly anyone heard it.

“The apothecary?” the driver replied.

“Yes.”

“Very well.” and off they went.

I doubt more than 10 out of the 50 people there heard the exchange. It was quite frustrating.

I did like the Windmill, and the architecture, and walking through the Episcopal church. I thought Merchant Square sucked except for the “The Terrace” restaurant which had great Corn Chowder.

I guess to me the whole problem was the presentation. The actors seemed to exist to try to make the whole thing come-alive, and I thought they did a poor job, constantly reminding you that it was a fake, and I thought the attitudes were pretty pompous and surly, like they were doing me a favor any time they deigned to speak with me.

In places like Gettysburg, which I love. I find the empty battlefields and houses haunting, and the imagination fills in the details.

When they do the reenactments, the sheer scope is breathtaking and it really comes alive.

At Williamsburg, I just didn’t get that feeling. It all seemed contrived.

Maybe I’ll go back again, and feel differently. But, my wife and I both felt the same way.

Finally, we did have a nineteen month old daughter with us, and that made sitting down for any of the lectures impossible. Maybe that would have made it different.

The vendors with the cheesy felt tricorn hats, and “authentic” colonial food, pissed me off as well, because it was clearly cheap crap.

9

Oh, and at Busch Gardens, I know I mentioned the Step dancing, but my daughter sat in rapt attention for it for 45 minutes. The Pirates show in “4d” complete with 3d glasses held her attention and was quite amusing. She laughed at the cannon firing straight at her, and Leslie Nielson hammed up the film in classic style.

10

I used to live sorta near Williamsburg. I always thought the “Colonial” part of it sucked. It’s so contrived and commercial. What a damn disappointment. Yes, here’s your country’s history! Fifteen dollars please! Christmas is probably the best time to go because it’s all decked out, but of course it’s expensive and crowded then.

Do they sell anything other than Anheuser-Busch products at Busch Gardens now? I mean, yeah, that’s who owns the park, but having “countries” within the park that don’t have actual beer from those other countries was a letdown to me when I went there.

If you ever go back, visit the Greenleafe Cafe. It’s across from William and Mary - on Scotland St. if I remember correctly. Fabulous beers from all over the world, and if you like Scotch, they have a lot of varieties of that as well. Rodenbach Grand Cru from Belgium is my favorite beer there. The Greenleafe also has marvelous dinners about 4-5 times a year, where they pair various foods and beers. Yum.

If you ever want to go on a late summer vacation (after Labor Day) the Outer Banks of North Carolina is nice - just make sure to go down to the tip of the Banks (like Buxton, Hatteras or Ocracoke) for the nicest places - but stop in Manteo on your way down for the Lost Colony play, which is done in an outdoor amphitheater and is a nice thing to see about the earliest settlers of the area.

Ah, I wish I could go on vacation. I’d like to see Biltmore at Christimastime some day, now that I am an NC resident … hope it won’t be overhyped!

11

I don’t know why they don’t crack the whip and throw out any kid behaving the way you described those hooligans behaving. Eventually it will hurt attendance if people don’t feel it’s safe to take their families there. They oughtta have a no-tolerance policy on that.

For all that, Scylla, it bugged me that you included the kids’ race in the story. Did it matter whether the hooligans were black or not? I’m sensitive to this because Mr. Cranky has a habit of adding in ethnic information to his descriptions of people–when I don’t think they add to the understanding of the story and, in fact, often tap into some undercurrent of stereotyping. It bothers me when he does it, so I’ve come to question the use of racial descriptions in other settings like news stories and, well, SDMBers personal accounts of events.

Just what you needed on vacation, eh, some fricking hypersensitive do-gooder from this damned board bringing something like this up? I’m not taking you to task–it just pushed my comfort level a bit.

romansperson I like Biltmore at Christmas–I think they really put on quite a display. However, the prices are eye-popping. Once you can accept that you just kissed a lot of money goodbye, just soak it all in and enjoy. And remember to tell yourself that Cranky’s house in Michigan looks a lot like this!

12

Oh, you just reminded me of a trip my Mom and I took to Wm’sburg, about ten years ago! We spent most of it strolling around the woods and gardens, also some time looking at Ye Quainte Olde-Tyme Stuffe (my favorite was “Colonial One-Hour Photo”). And we did—against our own better judgment—go to Busch Gardens. We both hate crowds and rides, but we figured, what the hell, while we’re here we might as well see it.

Fake Europe was horrifying. Though they did kinda get Fake France right—all the help was snippy and pretended they couldn’t understand us. We ate in Fake Germany, and (being Jewish) started to get a little freaked out by the Oompah singers. So we took out our map, hid behind some trees and tried to figure out how to escape. “I think if we head over the Fake Alps we can sneak out of Fake Germany back into Fake France before the Fake Nazis catch us,” said my mother. Just then we heard a burst of gunfire from a nearby rifle range—we both laughed so hard we nearly lost our Fake German lunch.

13

I haven’t been to Colonial Williamsburg in years – probably 1989 or so. I am a huge history buff (actually a history major even, and I plan to teach history someday), but I kind of agree with you, Scylla. I just can’t seem to like “living history” museums. I don’t mind having the docents in costume. However, I feel that having them in character is problematic. If they ignore the onlookers and stay in character, they seem rude and surly. On the other hand, friendly interaction with 21st century onlookers seems peculiar.

BTW, my son was at Busch Gardens on Friday with his 8th grade class. He’s a good-looking kid – blonde hair in a buzz-cut, blue eyes, about 5’4". He was wearing a green Quicksliver tee-shirt and jeans. If you saw him acting up let me know, ok? I’ll pinch his head off. Actually, one of his classmates did get in trouble at the park. He was shoplifting and, I believe, drinking. Nick didn’t have the full story, as this kid is not one of his cronies. I imagine I’ll hear the full version in exhaustive detail after school.

14

Eve – I also loathe Busch Gardens. Nick has been there several times since we’ve been back in Virginia, but I’ve managed to get out of it. I really hate all theme parks – I hate rides, I hate crowds and (this is elitist, I know) I hate the happy-fun-time ambiance. Disneyland is the worst. I was dragged there twice when we lived in Southern California and finally told the family “no more.” Fortunately, my daughter hates theme parks also, so my husband and Nick usually go on their own. However, my husband has been threatening us with a family vacation to Disneyworld. The very thought makes me twitch. I’d rather go to hell than Disneyworld.

15

Jess said:

Amen to that. I asked a friend of mine who went there what it was like. He said:

And I knew exactly what he meant.

16

Cranky:

I thought about you said before I posted, and decided to describe it that way because that’s the way I saw it. I thought about leaving out the descriptions of the two groups of kids, but decided that I wasn’t going to sacrifice accuracy to be PC.

That’s just the way it was.

Their race is irrelevant. As I said, I think upbringing was the issue. They weren’t taught how to behave, and they come from a socioeconomic group that is predominantly black. I tried to describe what happened accurately.

If most of the kids with a “Hamlin’s Music School” Tshirt were acting like assholes I would have identified them that way. If they were all Japanese, or all had red hair, I would have described them that way. I decided that to ignore their race in my description because it happened to be black when I would have described it had it been otherwise, would have been silly and prejudicial in its own right.

Eve:

LOL! Fortunately today, you can cross the German/Irish border and hang out in the safety of Grogan’s Pub.

Jess:

Was he with the group that had the awards ceremony Friday night?

17

You should have spent more time exploring Coloniel Williamsburg, some of the shops in the area and/or Jamestown. :wink: Having been to Busch Gardens once or twice, I can’t sat I really cared for it either (actually, I’ve heard a lot of complaints about BG from people that went there). Paramount’s Kings Dominion, just north or Richmond on I-95, is a lot more fun if you’re into amusement parks. Anyway, you should have stopped in Richmond and said “hi” or something! :oP

18

Are you insane, man? Have you lost your mind?

You sat across from The Trellis, the second best restaurant in Virginia (the first, of course, being the Inn at Little Washington, but the Trellis is one a human being can afford), and willingly, with malice aforethought, ate that corn chowder when, mere yards from your bench, culinary masterpieces awaited your tongue?

:eek: :wally

Marcel Desaulniers owns that place, the creator of Death by Chocolate. And believe me, he doesn’t only do deserts. He sculpts food into symphonies for the taste buds. He even manages to keep the recipes sufficiently simple so that his help can do it when he is not there.

You fool, you. Your tongue will hate you forever.

<sigh> I can still taste that roasted red pepper soup. And Death by Chocolate is well named.

19

Back up a second.

In the Ireland section, they had BEER school? The Dipluma wouldnt be worth the paper it was written on. Demand a Whiskey School or a Stout school be set up in your area immediately, and earn your qualification with pride, my good man.

20

Tell ya what, Jess - if you do get dragged in this direction, hop out of the car as you pass thru Jax and you can hang with me while your family does the Disney thing. I hate that place too!