If there’s nothing for me under the tree tomorrow, Aries won’t need to open a can of Whoop-Ass because I will have uncapped the Large, Sam’s Club size on him (especially after I got him everything he asked for for Christmas, AND bought the presents for his family AND got him new winter clothes).
The Lout!
I got a present (smoked salmon and wine) for my ex-wife and her girlfriend. That’s all I’m sayin’.
You could always just play with his toys and wear his clothes, gobear… 
This is one I like, though I’m more of a fan of the “Put the huge, mysteriously-shaped box out in Mid-November.” This year, it’s a big triangle. Hee hee hee.
Just sayin’, he may be devious like me. Or an ass.
After two pages, we the massed folk of the SDMB will not let you rest until we have a present inventory. For both of you.
Well, I have to unsay my hard words. He bought me the South Park Season 3 and the X-Men Collection, two box sets I was jonseing for.
Aries, I’ve heard of that Ring … this guy I know–well, knew–he had a ring like that. When I last saw him, he had part of his finger bit off by this real weird-looking guy who sorta crawled along all ape-like. He said he lost the Ring, though. Sorry about that.
fizzy has walked into stores in the past, written checks of a not insubstantial amount, and come out with clothing so small I couldn’t even SEE it.
And no, it was not That Kind Of Store. Trust me, there is one at that mall.
Okay, okay, she was paying the bill. But what’s important is that she didn’t buy anything ELSE[sub]that time[/sub]!
Papa Tiger has this annoying habit of shopping early and spending more than we agree to spend. Now, mind you, he also spends it on things like gorgeous and unique jewelry (my coworkers are quite envious), but at the same time anything I can think of to buy him, he goes out and buys for himself, leaving me with nary a clue.
But that’s okay. This year I topped him! This year I blew the spending limit sky-high, and he can’t complain – I got an inheritance from my grandmother, and over his great protests, I forced him to buy himself a new computer! Hah! That’ll show him!
Of course, I also have a few other goodies for him…just to prove to him for once and for all that no matter how he tries to prevent me from finding anything for him, I am too good for him! I can see into the future and know what he wants even before he knows he wants it!
Hey, it’s the 26th!!
I want an update!!
Yeah. Where’s the list of what you guys got each other, huh? We want to know!
Risking Aries’ eternal wrath here (which I’m having a hard time feeling threatened by, after the finger puppet thing):
Sauron, for a following year may I recommend this idea? It worked great for me this year.
Our situation is similar to yours. LadyAvalonain and I like to spend most of our limited pool of holiday funds on our kids, and we limit our spending for one another pretty severely some years. This year in particular it was limited by a large purchase in mid-December… the sub-flooring for the basement room we’ve been working on for the last year came in, and it was going fast. It’s an imported product and was hard to get locally, so we had to jump on it. Over $500 to get what we needed, and it made a pretty solid dent in the holiday money. We agreed to only spend the rest on our girls.
I made the agreement with an ace in the hole, though. Because I kick ass regularly at work, I usually get a monthly bonus in the form of gift certificates to various establishments. This has resulted in lots of cool stuff over the past few months: a new MP3 player, some books and CD’s from Amazon, a new gas BBQ grill (which I’ve assembled but probably won’t use until next year), etc. This time I was getting a Circuit City gift card, and I got it a few days before Christmas. I knew where it was going right away.
On Christmas Eve, she asked me The Question (she knows me too well): “You didn’t buy me anything, right?”
I smile and shake my head slowly.
She reacts instantly. “Oh no… you did!”
I look her in the eye. “I promise, I did not buy you anything.”
Christmas morning, after the girls have opened most of their presents, I pull out their “surprise” gift: a Gamecube with several games. I also give m’lady a smallish wrapped package. She gives me a The Look.
“From Santa for us, I think,” and I shrug and sit down.
She opens her new digital camera and spends the rest of the day playing with it. See, technically, I didn’t buy it (my employer did), and it wasn’t for her, it was for us.
So there you go… two excuses (though I stupidly blew them both this year): (1) You didn’t pay for the gift, and (2) it’s not just for her, it for the both of you (or the whole family, or for the Minions, or whatever – vary as needed). They pay off pretty nicely, in my opinion. Being sneaky can be fun. And you know our ladies secretly love it.
So what’d y’all get?
I just have to wonder what one buys an Orc for Xmas. I mean, there are just so many Minions of Sauron, and they already HAVE shields and big metal stick things and helms and all that. I have a feeling some Tinkertoys and a few matchbox cars just wouldn’t cut it.
Pie. Orc, pie, ten by ten room. It’s a tradition.
I thought orcs ate pizza.
Back over Labor Day I was at DragonCon in Atlanta, and ended up at one point in an elevator with several orcs, one carrying several pizzas. Since I’m really short and was wearing peasanty clothes, they insisted on looking at my feet to make sure I was human. Funny stuff.
Their costumes were amazing.
A gift certificate to Tom’s Rhinoplasty!
See, I figure we should all chip in a dollar for Aries28 so next Christmas she can have a nice fat budget to work with and not go over the budget. I’ll bet the SDMB could put together a nice little Christmas bonus…
Why aren’t we thinking of ways for her to win? Jeez.
FISH
Because Aries isn’t a Dark Lord with a Scary Tower and Spooky Ooky Eye and all us dark creatures feel some allegiance to Sauron?
Well, she needs all the help she can get… after all, she’s a car!
No reports yet? Huh. Maybe the jewel-encrusted marital aids worked better than anybody would have expected! g
Damn, here it is the afternoon of the 28th and still no word. That must be some new type of atomic powered, jewel-encrusted marital aid.
Come on guys spill, who got what?