I’m sorry if I missed it, but has your wife ever seriously considered a tattoo in the past, or was this situation sparked entirely by the meeting with this other woman?
He said she already has one, as does he.
Thoughts"that ensue when faced with the concept “lots of tattoos” include “Ex-con”, “Hepatitis” and “Premature Death”.
Not everyone looks at the issue from a forensic pathology perspective, however. 
To me, as a not particularily pro-tattoo person, part of the response to this is to have a tattoo designed such that the first portion or two look ok independently, or can be redesigned to look good if the rest of that tattoo is never completed.
Think hard about the committment upfront, but think about ways to make turning back after the first tattoo or two more feasable rather than less.
This also might help with concern number five–although, for all I know, the design she’d like is an all or nothing thing–you aren’t telling her not to do it, but you’d like it better if you were surer she’d really considered the issues, which might mean thinking about it for six months or more and starting with a portion which could be made independent of the rest.
This is the only concern of yours that I share. Personally, I would be reluctant to condemn myself to decades of black turtlenecks in the summer. Because your wife is so young, it’s pretty likely that she won’t wind up working in field she thinks she might now. What’s professionally acceptable for a graphic designer won’t be the same as what’s professionally acceptable for a CPA. If I were her, I’d go for the back tattoos, but hold off on the arms.
I don’t think any of your listed objections have merit. Pain, health concerns, etc. are her decision to make, not yours. As a spouse, I think it’s reasonable to voice objections to her getting a tattoo if you would significantly less attracted to her with them or if you think it could threaten your joint financial situation.
As NAF1138 said, don’t treat this like it’s your decision to make, but don’t worry about offering your opinions. Part of treating her like an adult is assuming you can give her input without it unduly influencing her judgment.
I have two guidelines when considering a tattoo:
Choose something big and bold enough that it’ll still be recognizable when it starts to blur.
Place it somewhere that showing it or not showing it is your choice.
I have only one tattoo (a five-inch spider on my outer thigh), so I’m not an expert.
Sounds hot. I think full sleeve tattoos are insanely sexy.
I think I’d be more worried, considering her issues you’ve alluded to, that her interest in this stems from your over the top appreciation of the spectacular beauty who triggered all this.
In a relationship with the sort of issues you’ve alluded to that would be me only concern here. And were I in such a delicate relationship I think I’d refrain from over the top praise for other women and their styles until she’s dealt with some of her issues.
It just strikes me as a, “MMmmm, Daddy likes that!” followed by, “Baby wants one now!”, sort of thing going on here.
I’m not inked myself, but I think going at it progressively sounds sensible.
At some point she’ll cross a line between being that chick with tats to that tatooed chick.
Not that there is anything wrong with either. Just generally think it a good idea to take plenty of time before committing yourself to something so permanent.
I’m not a proponant of tattoos. But in this case, i think the only thing to do is tell your wife your concerns but tell her that it’s totally her decision, because it is. If you were revolted by them, then I’d mention that, because it might change how you felt about her. In this case, however, your concerns are just that, concerns for her well-being, not an antipathy toward tattoos in general. let her know you care and you love her no matter what she chooses.
StG
QFT, particularly with reference to her recent work situation. Perhaps you could suggest that she waits 3 months or so, just to be sure?
You should also keep in mind that a full back & arms tattoo could easily run into the tens of thousands of dollars depending on the design & artist. (A process which could take up to several months or even a year before it is finally finished.)
I cannot imagine an amount of time it would take for me, personally, to come to the decision that I like something so much that I can live with it forever. Obviously, YMMV.
I wonder if anybody is working on a new tattoo technology that results in a tattoo that looks as good as today’s tattoos, and lasts as long, but can be easily removed if so desired.
I find tatoos on women extremely sexy-if done in areas not normall seen. Like this one fal-she had butterflys on the buttocks-onlt seen when wearing a micro bikini. But visible tatoos? No-a turn off, and a hindrance
If there’s a way to bring it up that doesn’t sound too cynical, have her look into what type of inks can’t ever be removed (e.g. white).
I can see where you’re coming from, except that my wife noticed her first–both in the sense that she saw her first and that she was the first to say, “Oh my god that woman is insanely hot! I wonder how far down those tattoos go! I wantto see!”
(Mrs. Rhymer is maybe 75% straight (which makes her about 20 percent less straight that me))
:eek:
Gods of earth and air!
Oh yeah, there’s that too. Tattooing is espensive! BTW, don’t haggle price. It’s just not done.
I think there are some really really interesting and cool tattoos, and I’m an avid fan of the shows Miami and LA Ink. I’ve thought from time to time about getting one, especially when going through difficult times in my life, but…still no tat. Mr. Elf would of course want one where no one but him would see it.
Could it be her way of ‘taking control’ of her body maybe? Wasn’t sure if it may be related to one of your previous posts.