Naked, but not getting dressed, in the gym locker room.

I received a membership to my local gym as a birthday present from my wonderful fiancé. I have gone to this gym in the past and I like it. It’s busy, but not too crowded. The machines are all state of the art and there are enough free weights to keep my old-fashioned sensibilities happy too.

So what’s the problem? Well…there is no problem until I get to the locker room. For some reason, the locker room at this gym seems to always have out of shape naked guys standing around.

Now, I’m not shocked to see nudity in a locker room. There are showers and people changing clothes, I understand that. What I don’t understand is what greeted me in my triumphant return to the gym’s locker room. There was a guy simply sitting on the bench, completely naked. He was staring at the locker door in front of him. I changed into my workout clothes, fished out my headphones out of my bag, put my stuff into the locker and headed out to rejoin those who are at least trying to stay somewhat close to fit.

The guy didn’t move once in the all that time, which was maybe 2 minutes.

This bothered me for a few reasons.

  1. Sir…You are sitting bare-assed on the bench. That can’t be within the rules. Sit on a towel. Or better yet…Put on a robe. How about getting dressed?
  2. Sir…Why are you just sitting there anyway? Are you done with your work out? Do you have anywhere to be? Are you considering the décor of the room?
  3. Sir…You are fat. I don’t mean to offend anyone, I’m just pointing out that seeing a naked man sitting down who is so overweight that his belly rests upon his lap is just something I don’t want to see. This is not to say that I want to see any naked men–I don’t–It’s just that when you weigh 300 pounds and you sit naked in the middle of the room, you’re hard to miss.

All right…maybe I’ being a little petty. The guy probably just had a tough workout and was catching a breather. Being overweight, he might have needed more of a breather than I’m accustomed to. I dunno.

I proceed to workout for about 90 minutes and then head back to the locker room. All is well. But wait…standing there chatting are…2 naked guys! Are they getting dressed? No. They are talking. Just casual chat. Now before you paint the mental picture, let me fill in some details…these men were older than me…at least in their mid-40s. Although not in the same class as the guy sitting on the bench earlier, they are still quite out of shape.

This appears to be a trend. Every time I’m in that locker room, there is an old naked guy. If the guy is even close to being in shape, he seems to get dressed right away, but if he’s overweight? He’s hanging around. Yesterday I saw a guy fixing his hair while naked. The day before there was a naked guy who took his bag out and rifled through it for the entire time I was getting changed…Why?? Your clothes are right there. Put them on & then search for your watch or whatever it was you were looking for.

The really in-shape guys who emerge from the showers? Covered in a towel until they get dressed.

If I’m naked in the locker room, I tend to be in a state of transition. I’m naked now because I’m endeavoring to not be naked very soon…I’m changing. I’m putting on clothes. I’m toweling off. I’m not sedentary, simply existing in a state of nakedness. I’m not chatting with another naked guy. I’ll fix my hair after I get dressed.

At home? Okay, do what you want. In a room full of strangers? Not for me.

Okay gym-goers. Here’s my questions…

  1. How casual are you with being naked in your locker room?
  2. What age group do you belong in? Are you under 25, 25-35, 35-45, 45-55, older than 55?
  3. Do you notice a trend among the naked folks in your locker rooms the way I have? If so, what kind of trend?

Let’s see. The guys older than you are comfortable with their bodies, despite not measuring up to your standards. Maybe they’re just more grown up and mature? Give it some time, maybe you will be, too.

  1. Slightly rushed, since it’s the lunch hour. And I only have, ya know, an hour.

  2. Not so much a trend, but I like to air dry. Otherwise, when I go back to work I sweat like a pig. My gym has dryers on the walls, so I usually stand under them for two cycles. If they didn’t have those, I suppose I’d have to sit on a bench and stare at a locker.

I’m 40. Back when I had a gym membership, lots of guys of all ages and shapes would be naked in the locker room, with no particular hurry to get dressed. I often went to the steam room or the jacuzzi naked, as did many of the others. It’s just not a big deal.

I have noticed at swimming pools too that it is the old, fat ladies who shower naked while the younger girls and women shower in their bathers.


Have you discussed this with your fiancé?

There’s these two sweet older ladies who work out in the morning the same time I do. One, bless her heart, works out in a pair of jeans, but hey, at least she’s up at 5 in the morning and hitting the gym. The other, for some odd reason, will walk to the shower with the towel covering her front but not her rear, so there’s a naked lady walking to the shower covering her front bits but not her rear bits. How hard is it to completely wrap the towel around you?

I’ve gotten less shy in the locker room…I will strip outside the shower, but I still cover myself walking to and from my locker. I will also dress outside my locker, but since I’m facing it, it’s still early, no one sees the pink-nosed puppies, and I pull my underwear up under the towel before I drop it. The only time I use the changing room I when I need to put on hose, and that’s because I need the room to stretch and pull and situate. It’s not that I’m shy (well, maybe a little), but more to preserve a sense of decorum.

At the end of your shower hit yourself with cold water for a minute or so. It will cool you down and stop you from sweating.

“pink nosed puppies”? awwww…how cute…

it makes me like tits even more.

“pink nosed puppies”? awwww…how cute…

it makes me like tits even more…assuming it’s possible.

like my father, the Very Wise Man once said, “son, if you’ve seen two, you’ve seen them all. but you want to see them all just to make sure.”

…after that, i really looked up to him…a source of inspiration, really.

Last night, after I finished a steam bath at the Y where I am a member, I accidentally walked into the ladies locker room from the pool area. From this, I conclude that there are naked people of all shapes, sizes, and ages to be seen in either locker room. Thankfully, I lunged back out the door immediately w/o causing a fuss. If naked people who don’t meet your personal standards of beauty are going to be an issue, maybe your fiance should cancel the gym membership and get you a bowflex or something.

You’ll get used to it, as will your younger cohorts. You are very unlikely to get sick from sitting on a bench that a naked man sat on.

My gym favorites that I have seen are:

  • The naked guy who would use the hand blow dryer on the wall to dry himself after a shower. The funny part was watching him try to dry his crotch that way.

  • The naked guy who would walk out of the shower wearing a towel wrapped around his head instead of his waist.

  • The naked guy who would swipe a stick of deodorant to his armpits… then a swipe in his ass crack.

Maybe the younger, in shape people are quite competitive and vain with their bodies, and prefer to hide them from other possible competitors, whereas the older, fatter gents KNOW they ain’t going to impress anybody, so why not just let it all hang out and have a good time.

I haven’t noticed it particularly with the overweight crowd. It’s mostly the older generation, though.

I’m fine with the bit of nudity between the states of dressed and undressed. But I don’t understand the walk-around-the-place nudity. I’m not offended by it, but it seems odd.

What I really don’t like is the naked guy shaving at the sink. Gee… You know the counter is just about the height of your genitals. It’d be kind of nice if you weren’t rubbing your junk all over the edge of the counter.

I never understood the urge to hang out naked in the locker room, but I’m not obsessively modest either. After my workout I strip and walk to the shower carrying my towel and shampoo and stuff. I’m butt naked because I don’t want to put a nice clean towel around myself after I’ve just been excercising. But I’m expeditious about it. I don’t hang out and linger over the benches.

Returning from the shower, I do wrap the towel around me, but this is not so much for considerations of modesty as it is to help divest myself of the final bits of shower water.

I am not an overweight elderly man.

I thought it was funny the time that the pool on campus was overrun with junior high girls who were presumably there for some kind of special summer program. They would hold towels up for each other, blocking off a small section of the locker room, so they could change without anyone seeing their naughty bits, giggling hysterically the whole time. Meanwhile, I’m standing three feet away, towelling off and getting dressed, unabashedly flashing buttock and boob. Maybe I was a crazy old naked person from their point of view.

  1. The towels provided are too small to cover important strategic areas when wrapped around me, so I usually just drape one over my shoulder and “fly casual.” However, I don’t dally between the locker and the shower and vice versa. In general, I’m with the OP. Locker rooms are a place of transition; they are for changing, for showering, for towelling, for applying lotions and deodorants. They are not for hanging around in your birthday suit just because you won’t be arrested for public indecency.

  2. I’m 31.

  3. In contradiction to the emerging trend, some of the old ladies at my gym take their clothing into the shower stall and change in there. This is more practical than it sounds because stalls are divided into two compartments, with the actual shower, a curtain, an area with a hook, then another curtain. Still, IMHO that’s just way too much effort to go to, and I can’t abide the thought of my undies accidentally falling off the hook and onto the damp floor.

That’s why I always grab two towels.

Hey…thanks for all of the thoughts on this pressing matter.

I’m not judging them, merely pointing out the fact. I’m hardly one to talk about being young & in shape.

The only standard I’m holding against anybody is their decision to dally in the locker room sans clothing.

Be that as it may, I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that he shouldn’t have bare ass on the bench. Folks wipe their sweat off of the equipment they use, although it’s unlikely to get anyone sick. It’s not about getting me sick, it’s about courtsey.

I think she knows I’m not terribly interested in looking at naked men…but yes, I’ve discussed it with her.

I couldn’t have (and clearly didn’t) said it better. I’ve seen the naked shaving guy too. I have not seen the towel-around-the-head guy yet…and I’m hoping I don’t.

I could have sworn I’ve heard a couple of these complaints called into a popular satallite radio talk-show verbatim a few weeks ago. Looks like filmore & AndyPolley are O&A fans…