In another thread the topic of being naked in front of your kids has been brought up. I have been thinking about this lately.
I (male) have a 10 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. While we don’t traipse around the house in the nude, we do change or exit the shower in front of each other.
My daughter is becoming more modest, which I can totally understand with puberty looming.
At what point does nudity become innapropriate? Does it matter what sex the adult is and what sex the child is?
Just typing this out I feel a little squicky. It seems just a second ago my kids were wee little things and nudity was a non-issue. Now I feel like I may have missed the “please cover yourself” window and have created traumatic childhood memories for my kids forever!
FWIW - this has never come up at home and seems to be a non-issue around the house.
My kids, now (almost) 13 and 11 cover themselves completely, as do we in front of them. But a scant few years ago they didn’t bother, and neither did we. You’re just getting into that range now. Once the kids begin covering themselves and feeling self-conscious, I would say that should be the cue for you to do likewise.
A couple of years ago I had a friend express concern when she found out I still walked around the house naked. But the kids didn’t care then, and so neither did I.
Again, I think you’re right on the cusp, but this is going to vary by household: probably by culture too.
I guess it becomes inappropriate when one of the people becomes uncomfortable with it. My wife and I are still occasionally naked in front of our kids (girls 9 and 7)- such as when getting into or out of the shower, getting dressed in the morning, etc. The kids are still completely nonplussed about it. I suspect in a few years they’ll start to think it’s oogy to see their parents- or at least daddy- naked, and they’ll make themselves scarce.
I agree, just go by the comfort level of the people involved. If you start to feel uncomfortable, stop. If your kids start showing more modesty, stop. Children might not tell you they’re uncomfortable with you being naked, but you’ll easily see when they develop an interest in their own body privacy, and that’s a good time to reciprocate, I think.
I think that people who get all bent out of shape over *other *people’s practices in this regard are equating nudity with sex. There’s really no reason to make that equation, but it’s prevalent in our society. (It’s really the only reason people go insane over public breastfeeding, for instance.) I tend to think these people are way more pervy than we folk who traipse around naked at home. After all, we don’t think of it as sexual - they’re the ones with the dirty minds!
I stay covered up in front of my daughters (10 and 6). It’s a comfort level thing with me. Lady Chance is frequently naked around them, though.
They still feel comfortable running around naked or near naked, though. The 10 year old, in response to my cry of ‘why are the kids running around naked?’ sung out with ‘Don’t worry. I’ll stop when I grow boobs.’
I don’t even remember how old my older daughter was when I got shy. Probably around the time SHE got shy. I still parade around the house topless with my younger daughter and she doesn’t even notice. She’s still grabbing them all the time, clothed or not.
It’s only recently she stopped begging for “Mewks”, which is what she’s always said when she wanted to nurse. She stopped nursing over two years ago but she still asked for it for a long time after. So glad that’s over, especially in public.
Always covered up around my stepdaughter (married her mom when stepdaughter was 12). She’s now grown and in grad school. Never bothered to cover up around our son (now 10).
I used to to take baths with mom… Up until… oh… 10? maybe 11? One day I noticed that mom was, in fact, a naked woman, and my body had the reaction that boys tend to have quite frequently at that age(much to my extreme mortification), and that put a stop to that particular habit. It was more out of concern for me than any cares mom had though.
Around these parts of the world (Finland, I guess Sweden, Estonia and Russia to lesser extent as well) we’ll see the same-sex relatives in sauna naked all the time so there’s no age limit there. With other sex relatives it’s a bit more like in US, but I do remember being in sauna with my aunts when I was 7-8 or so.
I’ve gotten the impression that Japan has a similiar bathing culture that makes nakedness less of a big deal, never been there though.
I don’t have any memories of my mother ever being naked in front of me which means she must have stopped when I was still a toddler. My father on the other hand did right up until I moved out (& still walks around the house naked much to Mom’s annoyance).
I’ve seen both my parents naked a thousand times, and I actually think it was good for me. I’ve always known what normal adult bodies looked like and never seen nudity as a big deal or inherently sexual, although when I was a kid I was pretty shy about my own nudity starting very young. I grew out of it.
I am female and have three sisters (both of whom seem very relaxed about nudity as well and don’t consider it sexual). Mom just doesn’t care about being seen nude by family, we are lucky to see each other once every two years but last time I visited I still saw her naked somehow (she’ll just strip and change anywhere). Dad began to make an effort not to show all his junk once I, the oldest daughter, got to be around 12 IIRC (I didn’t go through puberty until 14).Then he became disabled and we couldn’t afford daily care, I had to wipe his ass plenty of times when I was 16-18, so I’ve seen every hairy detail of his anatomy at this point…
Around my place I’ll be comfortable, no matter who is here. That could range from complete nudity to a loose tshirt. If it’s really cold, loose sweat pants and sheepskin slippers.
I’m in my mid 50’s and certainly no prize to look at, but my comfort comes before all else. My kids have grown up with it, their girlfriends and wives get used to it and my grandkids were curious, but don’t ask anymore. They just know that’s the way gramps is.
I just don’t care for restrictive clothing. If I have to wear anything at all it’s very loose and baggy. We live in the sticks, so outdoor nudity isn’t generally a problem either.
My kids became self-conscious early on, which is fine, I don’t give a fig one way or the other. The whole idea is to be comfortable.
The grandkids have been slower to cover up, but the nearly 9 year old granddaughter is starting to be a little more careful. Five year old GS takes after gramps and can’t wait to shuck his clothes when he’s here.
I just never understood the whole Nudity=Sex thing.
On the very rare occasions we have invited non-family company, I’ll don something for their sake. Or if the UPS guy pulls in while I’m outside, I’ll try and duck behind a tree or something.
Does that include guests? Because I was always taught that a host should make their guests comfortable, even if they had to spare their own comfort to do it. I’m not hatin’ on you or anything, just clarifying.
Again, if the whole idea is to be ‘comfortable’, how do you handle a situation where your comfort causes someone else discomfort?
I will readily agree that, at least in the good ol’ US of A, nudity and sex are too closely associated. That’s probably because most of the baby boomers grew up looking at ‘porn’ that was really nothing more than nekkid women-folk.
As for my own answer to the OP: we’re pretty casual around here about nudity, but only to a certain degree. For instance, if I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I’ll just walk from my bedroom to the bathroom (next door to my bedroom) without bothering to slip on a robe or anything. But if hubby and I are in bed (we both tend to sleep naked) and our 10YO daughter comes into the room, we will pull the cover up over us, mostly so we don’t embarrass her.
Other times (besides in bed and the middle of the night), running around the apartment sans clothing is not an option, because I manage the apartment building we live in, and there’s no telling when a tenant might come knocking on my door! :eek:
I believe I already answered your first question in my last paragraph.
On your second question: My house, my rules. If you don’t like 'em and you want to see me, invite me to your place.
A couple of my married children had to move back home shortly after they married and I didn’t have a problem with that at all, but did warn them that I’m not going to change my life to suit them.
With the exception of the DIL’s everyone else grew up with my habits and don’t seem overly concerned about it. Even the DIL’s, by virtue of having to live with me, don’t seem bothered by it, though I was aware that they were initially. I’m sure if they’d had any other option in places to live, they’d have done so.
So, for those of you that have a tough time getting your adult kids out on their own, you might take a hint!
It’s a non-issue here in Germany.
I frequently saw my parents and sister naked, perhaps a bit less during our puberties but still occasionally when I’m at their place.
But then again, public mixed “FKK” saunas are common here, and I even met my female elementary school teacher there when I was ten or so.
Between the ages of 14 and 19, I was in there with my friends from the swim club (both genders) almost every week after our training session.