This sounds to me like a planned conspiracy to get you to that house. Stay strong.
dear ex-bf
please go take a flying leap into the bowels of hell and I hope when you do you land ass first on a dildo spiked with razor blades!
Tell us how you really feel!
(And tell him to take my ex with him.)
No, they are designed to always go off in the middle of the night and then require batteries that you don’t have on hand, resulting in a middle of the night run to the local quick-mart to learn that they don’t have the batteries you need as well.
Speaking of middle of the night wake-up calls…I had a lovely Native American artwork piece, arrowheads mounted on hand woven fabric that decided to just fall off the wall at 0-dark-thirty last night. While I was sweeping up the glass, I missed an arrowhead and managed to step on it this morning and it got stuck in my heel. (yeah, yeah, I know I should have mopped, but it was the middle of the night.)
I think I’ve ranted this before, but since it happened again, here we are again… Fuck web retailers that offer mobile or app only discounts. ‘Get 5% off your order, but only if you painstakingly enter the order from your phone when there’s a perfectly good computer on the desk in front of you.’
Yes, I did try making my shopping cart on the computer and checking out from the phone. No joy. The cart didn’t transfer over. I did get somewhat around it by using the Firefox WebIDE tool to make the computer lie and say it was a phone.
Bastards.
The tabby cat is in the bathroom, crying because she’s locked up. The other cat is under the loveseat, where she spends most of her time these days. They just got into another screaming fight, which, after a few weeks of reasonable calm, have started back up again. The other cat is still on Prozac and hasn’t pee’d anywhere inappropriate (though I have no idea when she’s been using the litterbox), which is an improvement, but the fighting and the hiding really, really need to stop. We’re supposed to hear from the behaviorist any time now- the timeline was 6 weeks at the end of October, but I’m going to call first thing Monday to see if we can get some kind of appointment set up soon. BF is at the end of his rope and just wants to throw the towel in/get rid of the tabby cat, I’m having nightmares… the tabby cat has been with us for almost two years, since she was four months old, and it’s just been this year that the fighting/peeing has been going on, but it’s no way for any of us to live. 
Do we have a new thread? Is everyone out of rants?
Nah, I’m just bored of doing a daily “my effing FAMILY!!” update 
I could bitch about the weather instead - the local Christmas lights switch on has just been cancelled and me and the 4 yr old are suffering cabin fever, but simultaneously refusing to leave the house because it’s so foul out there
Can I put in a bid for the Decemberants thread to be called “Dec the Halls with Rants and Howling”?
-DF
I can bitch about the idiot woman who walked into my cart today at Target and then acted like I was in her way. I was standing at an endcap looking over the clearance stuff and minding my own business. I’m not blocking the whole aisle or anything, I’m as far over as I can get. I see this lady walking towards me out of the corner of my eye. She’s heading straight for me and I figure she’ll surely move over, right? Nope. Smack into the end of my cart. As if she couldn’t see me in my bright blue coat and my land-yacht sized cart. That could be a whole 'nother rant, the size of Target’s carts… She stands there glaring at me for a few seconds and then stomps off grumbling about rude people. Really? I just shook my head and moved on.
I wound up having to order what I wanted online anyways. Anymore I do more and more of my shopping online because I can’t stand the crowds.
Seconded!
If you’re the first one to start it, you can call it whatever you want. And then endure a week of whining from all the people who didn’t start it early enough to call it what they wanted it to be called.
My mom calls and leaves a message at 12pm and then calls again at 5pm not giving me a chance to return her initial call
She annoys the hell out of me and wish landline phones were still in use so I could take the phone off the hook
I like this one!
Good choice.
I wrote a lyric, just to give everyone an earworm, and will post it a few hours closer to December 1.
You or Dancer_Flight could go ahead and start the Dec thread a half day early. Better than what happened one month, when we all agreed, but a n00b swept in and made a long convoluted title (pun on an old obscure movie).
Ok, I can do that. Just give me a minute to re-think the second line. “Make up words like J.K.Rowling” isn’t striking me as such a killer rhyme, anymore.
I’ve been trying to correct the multiple ways in which the Fastabulous Multiple Governments of the Spains write my name in their multiple databases. My name is messy enough by itself; add multiple abbreviations thought up by different database programers / data cleansing dudes and sometimes I wonder if I have IDs or laminated hemorroids.
I finally got the name change registered at the beginning of last summer, and don’t ask me why “please spell my name in the same way everyfuckingwhere” requires a name change. Such changes are retroactive to your birth: the birth record gets ammended in the margins, which are very wide and lined specifically for the purpose of recording such corrections. Having given our Oh So Speedy Burrocrats time enough to write the marginalia, I have requested a copy of the birth certificate with marginalia.
Turns out that they only give me the uncorrected version unless I go… again… to my local court to ask the court to get the corrected version for me. The version which is corrected according to the orders of that same court. No, just taking the uncorrrected version plus the court order to the multiple ID issuers, SS and so forth doesn’t work, I need to take an official copy of the corrected version (FFS, it’s just a photocopy with a stamp! And how do they keep the marginalia separated? Why, instead of writing the corrections on the margin… they attach a copy of the judge’s orders).
I don’t think I’ll ever have a daughter, but if I do, I’m going to call her Ana just because it’s the shortest woman’s name I know (there were four Evas in my class growing up and I’m still eva-saturated 20 years later). No middle names, no compound names, no fucking anything other than Ana. And if her father’s lastname has more than two syllables, we’ll chop it up.
I took your advice, and posted it.
And I also took a little heat about jumping the gun, but thank Og for the International Date Line. 
They have trouble with Nava?
(I’m just heady with the power of posting in TWO monthly mini-rant threads at once! Bwaaaaaah-ha… Thanks, Dad O’ Kayla!)