Maybe they couldn’t afford aftermarket deuce axles and had to rig stuff out of Ford Econoline front axles. Maybe it’s just like how Buddhists are painted as secretly resenting the good wishes of Christians, in that Jack Chick can draw a little but he doesn’t know shit about some things.
“mmmm-mmmm-mmmm-mmmm
mmmm-mmmm-mmmm-mmmm
and when, he finally came, back, his hair
had turned from black into bright white
he said that it was from when the cars had smashed him sooooo haarrrrd.”
Crash Test Dummy, indeed.
Damn you Hook
Hilarity ensues when he inadvertently switches the plotlines, resulting in a tract where Little Susie swallows a lasagna in one gulp, and a Garfield strip in which Jon is conspiring with the Pope.
Kim Lee is hot. I’d choose her over Jesus too. maybe she’s not as hot as the chick in the D&D tract but she’s still a lot hotter than Jesus.
Diogenes: I don’t want to be Tentacle Monster anymore. I want to be Debbie!
I’d say something here about how Bhuddists often accept more than one religion as true, but a) all I really know from Bhuddism is from my practicing uncle, the one service I went to in Basic, and the Lotus Sutra and b) I doubt Mr. Chick has spent any time at all studying any other religion.
But which Jesus? James Caviezel Jesus? Jeremy Sisko Jesus? How about Willem Dafoe Jesus? Or the one from Jesus of Nazareth? Personally, I like Christian Bale Jesus, myself.
You forgot John Turturro Jesus.
Aw man, as a mackeral-snapper I feel left out. Where’s the contempt for us bead-jiggling papist genuflectin’ world conquering Catholics? Not even a mention of the Whore of Babylon anywhere? And if I was writing this, I would have had a tire from the villain’s car fly into the crowd and kill his wife, so she could greet him in Hell (she’d be on the express track to there, of course). At least we got a “Jesus is God?!”, which is still not quite as funny as those heathens who are born in America and have never even heard the word Jay-sus. But worst of all, Jack has left out the one thing I crave to see above all things:
There is nobody going HAW HAW HAW!
:mad:
No wonder so many people don’t like God. The situation of the tract is horribly unfair, I think.
The use of shading in the panel where the doctor looks at the x-ray is so terrible it makes me depressed.
What a lame ending, too.
Of course, the real reason God kicked the guy out was because God didn’t like the guy’s dancing in the last panel. Apparently the guy decided to get his groove on and God doesn’t like that particular dance.
Plus, the guy’s shadow in the last panel is wrong.
Chick putting Dale and Jeff in his most recent tract is an odd coincidence for me. The wife was discussing Sunday’s race with a co-worker (Bill) and a another person (Fred) mentioned being a casual Jeff Gordon fan. After Fred left, Bill looked at my wife and said, “You know, I didn’t mind Jeff when he first started, but I really got annoyed after he started thanking the Lord for everything, ‘I’d just like to thank the Lord for being with me in this victory’, ‘I’d just like to thank the Lord for my car starting’, etc. I used to sit there and watch that thinking, ‘Boy, what’s the matter with you, don’t you know that God is a Dale Earnhardt fan?’”
You might have to know Bill (or least read the above in a strong Southern accent), but it cracked me the hell up.
To be fair, he seems to have missed the big picture on Christianity as well.
Now I have an image of Jesus with an enlarged spiky tiara fitted with a flexible straw leading down to his mouth. Like a Beer Hat, except this would be a Crown of Coors.
Aw, hell, go all the way, and make the cross hollow. Call it a Brew-cifix.
So was Jack’s message:
“You gotta stop liking them women folk they’ll tempt you from God.”
Perhaps our friend Bob would have been better to spread that message.
I wonder if Chick thinks that beautiful woman should find a way to cover themselves up to stop tempting men?
A lame boring Tract.
No looney conspiracy, no seething hatred. Hell, not even a real reproach of Buhddism just a quick image.
Looks like for a second Chick was questioning his own beliefs through the panel asking “what kind of God would do that?”
I was really hoping for the answer:
“A Crazy one the Kid, a Crazy one.”
That might be an interesting message for Chick to develop: “God’s gone nuts! Humor him and do whatever he says!”
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Call me juvenile, but this is the third funniest thing I’ve ever read on the SDMB.
“Brew-cifix.”
HAW HAW HAW!
Hey, you guys missed the new book illustrated by Jack, in which Jack attacks the Catholic Bible. While it may be written by David Daniels, you’ll still find those wonderful allusions to Catholics and intellectuals being the pawns of Satan. How could anyone pass up the entire history of the bible in a 160-page paperback?
Hmm, David Daniels…sounds like a fake name doesn’t it? No self-respecting Christian would give their child the initials D&D, that would practically guaruntee his damnation.