So I’m looking for something to watch and run across National Bingo Night on ABC. Now, I’ve seen a lot of weird things they’ve put out in the last few years to kill time in the summer, but this is just messed up. A guy predicting ball colors or something like that while playing against an audience with bingo cards while some guy with a shaved head hosts and there’s apparently an escapee from a Mexican game show on Telemundo in a zebra suit saying whether or not there is a bingo.
Actually, I wonder if there is Spanish audio available. Or maybe Japanese. I could so see this in Japanese. I mean it, this thing is just screwed up. It’s a train wreck and I just can’t…stop…watching!
Yeah, I didn’t have high hopes for mankind when I saw ads for it a couple of weeks ago. Then I watched it last week, and it was like a trainwreck. A wonderful, glorious trainwreck.
I mean it’s obvious someone copied word for word from the “Handbook for Creating Dramatic and Riveting Primetime Gameshows” when they created this monstrosity. But damned if I could not change the channel. I fell entranced by the giant colored balls bouncing all around the giant metallic orb. Ashamedly, I found myself crying out “Is it gonna be odd?!?” or “Black! Black!” more than once. Even more ashamedly, I found myself wishing my printer was hooked up so I could go print me out a damned Bingo card.
I did not turn the TV on tonight, as I didn’t want to tempt myself into another Friday night full of shame-- well, Bingo-induced shame anyway; the shame I thrust upon myself I can deal with.
My problem is that it’s simply no fun at all to watch. I hate shows that involve no skill or intelligence whatsoever (my same beef against Deal or No Deal). Repeating the rules every 6 minutes is irritating. The whole suspense over “Is there a bingo?” is just a huge waste of time. The phony manufactured drama (complete with lots of screaming and begging before every damn ball) never fails to be irritating. Then there’s the blatant unfairness of the contests, some of which have grossly better odds than others. (“If there’s a ‘5’ digit on the ball, you’re 20% of the way toward the big prize! Boy, sucks to be the last guy, huh?”)
On top of that, given that the whole concept (and pretty much the only way you’re going to gather a lot of people at a certain time every Friday for a little kids’ party game) is that the nation plays together, the idea of a contestant who doesn’t want any of you to win is ludicrous. Every bingo player in the country already has competition…each other! Why anyone thought The Enemy was necessary or even any sense, I haven’t a clue. (Besides that, if you’re watching at home and not playing, who the hell are you supposed to be rooting for??)
I almost can’t believe this is the same network that did the right thing with Dancing With The Stars. If ABC did nothing else but bring that fun, freewheeling, never-too-serious attitude to NBN, that’d make it a potential winner.
Each bingo ball is actually a small American Gladiators-style hamster cage. Each “ball” that gets selected gets $1000, so the people in the balls have a reason to fight through a pile to make it to the bottom of the heap. People are betting on the bingo results, but also on the competitors in the bingo hopper. Wouldn’t that be so much better?
Dancing with the Stars was taken from a BBC concept, which seems to prove the maxim that the only good reality shows are those which are adapted from other countries. (Although I’ll admit I like National Bingo Night. No bingo!)
There is no shame in enjoying mindless entertainment–especially when there’s not much else on!
I like it. I said pretty much the same thing last night re the Bingo cards. Turned to Mrs. Know and said “damn, I was gonna print out cards this week!” By the time it started, I didn’t want to get up!
The contestants are pretty entertaining as well. Mr. Gay Shoe Clerk last night was a hoot! Tell you what, though–some of the games are harder to win than others. The first contestant with that chicken game–as soon as they showed it, I said, “no way in hell he wins this.”
And Ewa Mataya Laurence with her trick pool shots in the last game was a pretty neat touch.
One thing I notice–the use of sound effects (especially when the trigger is pulled and the ball comes down the chute) is very well done. Bet you jump a little when the ball hits the bottom of the chute, dont’cha?
I’d say the game itself gets about a 4; the production gets a solid 8.
I’m embarassed to admit that I’ve given it a Tivo Season Pass. I’ve printed the sheets & played along.
My only complaint, though, is that it’s incredibly cruel to the contestant. No consolation prize: if you didn’t get your $50k, cruise, whatever… you go home without even a lovely parting gift/home version of our game. Nada zip zilch.