On the way home from work, some asshole in the left-hand lane nearly totaled me when he swerved halfway into my lane trying to right-hand pass the person in front of him. I slammed on the brakes, he jerked back into his lane, a crash was averted.
Then a quarter-mile later, as I was approaching the on-ramp to the interstate, some schmuck ran a red light on the cross-street in order to make a U-turn against oncoming traffic. The car in front of me slammed on their brakes, the u-turner survived, and a crash was averted.
Then a mile later, traffic was slowed to a crawl by a fender-bender in the same fucking spot that there’s always a fender-bender, on a bridge over the river.
'K. Why?
Because people drive like assholes.
I’d love to have a National Don’t Drive Like an Asshole law, a law that would throw people in jail for driving like assholes. But I’m realistic. Can we start with National Don’t Drive Like an Asshole Day? It could start next year on September 18, in honor of today; or we could choose some other more symbolic idea. There could be t-shirts and everything.
In that case, how about a Remember, You’re Driving a Deadly Weapon Day? That’s the reason people drive like assholes, because they don’t remember that the mechanism they are driving can, with a moment’s inattention, kill someone - possibly themself.
Perhaps there could be an entire series of subsidiary days: Hang Up and Drive Day; Stop Putting on Your Makeup and Drive Day; Stop Trying To Pick Up the Lit Cigarette You Dropped and Drive Day; Scrape the Ice off Your Windshield Before You Drive Day; and so on.
People simply don’t remember that a car can be a deadly weapon, and thus requires due digilence and care while operating one.
There actually was a “Scrape the ice off Your Windshield Before You Drive” Day for a while, but as it was designated for July 7th each year, it was not widely celebrated in the northern Hemisphere.
You must live in S Cal Left Hand because that’s what was going on in front of me in the time it took me to drive home from downtown. Less than 10 miles.
I was just thinking something like this. I was driving up a relatively crowded street and approaching a line of cars stopped at a light. As I was turning left, I put on my signal and started into the left turn only lane.
As soon as I was mostly into the turn lane, the person previously stopped at the end of the line of cars in front of me starts to try to whip out in front of me into the turn lane. Then he got this look of “oh, what’s YOUR problem” when I laid on my horn after slamming on my brakes. My problem is that you drive like an asshole, asshole.
Look the jails in this state are full enough. Not to mention the economic impact when everyone with a license ends up jailed before they get to the end of their driveway, which brings up the question of who’s going to arrest, try, convict the offenders, and then manage the jails.
As a pedestrian, there’s an asshole move that I’ve been seeing a lot lately. Suppose I’m walking on a sidewalk on the right side of a busy street. I have to cross a side street that’s on my right. A driver coming out of that side street (where there is no doubt a stop sign) wants to turn right onto the busy street.
Now normally I’d look at the driver, he’d look at me, and it’s generally understood which one of us goes first. Usually me, because of that pesky state law. But I’ve seen a lot of drivers blow through at maybe 3mph without looking left, without slowing down at all, just merging into traffic.
Today, 22 September, is being observed in South Korea as “International No Car Day.” All public schools, including the one where I work, have closed their garages and parking lots. I think this day qualifies for all of the above suggestions for day names.
