I really hate it when these things happen and I’m not informed. I mean, I go out there to run errands, go shopping, see a movie, and every time I turn a corner, I come across another Official Vehicle Cluster-Fuck[sup]TM[/sup] Site.
I mean, people stopping in the middle of traffic to hold conversations with the people in the approaching vehicle; people at traffic lights checking maps, rooting through their purses, building nests, writing novels, who knows what; people who forsake the rules of the road, right of way, even common sense; and the epitome of cow-like, pig-ignorant, I’m-the-only-person-in-the-world-syndrome behavior, a car at the end of a parking lot lane, with its hazard lights on, someone in the passenger seat, and no one in the driver’s seat! WHAT. THE. FUCK!! Did you decide that you couldn’t be bothered to actually find a parking slot and walk an extra 50 feet, like everyone else with even a modicum of civility does simply as a matter of course? Are you so special that you can intentionally block traffic while you run inside a store, assuming that you’ll only be inconveniencing everybody else who happens to use that part of the parking lot for a little while, and they’ll just have to live with it? That’s what parking slots are for, to keep things orderly and avoid what you just thoughtlessly caused.
But I realize it’s not your fault. It’s my fault for not being aware that today, Saturday, June 29, 2002, was officially Dumb Driver Day. Sorry for driving so safely, sanely, and reasonably. I’ll try to catch the official pronouncement and then I’ll have an excuse for driving like an asshole, too.
Didn’t you get the email? I’m sure your name was on the list ::shuffles papers:: Here it is, right…oh. Says Do Not Inform. Sorry, you’ve been flagged to not receive prior warnings for Dumb Driver Day, Goofus at the Drive-thru Day or Co-Worker PMS Days. I am however, allowed to inform you that next Thursday will be Traffic Cluster-Fuck Day. Have a good one!
You know what we saw at a traffic light today? Some guy getting out of his car and opening his trunk to get a book to read at the stoplight. :eek: Like the red light is going to be THAT long, buddy… :rolleyes:
Sorry to be the one to break it to you, Dave - this is only the practice session. Dumb Driver Days are officially scheduled for the 4th of July holidays… gotta drive, gotta drink, I’m an American!
It has nothing to do with June 29th. The operative word is Saturday. Every Saturday around here is dumb driver day. I swear, every dumbfuck in Denver has to hit the road on Saturday. I see stupid stuff every day, but Saturday has 'em all beat combined
I think perhaps it’s not the time but the place. Your location says you’re in Pearl River, but it seems you’ve been magically teleported to my home suburb of Los Angeles. These driving phenomena are common here. Do not adjust your set.
I spent a good part of the morning trying to peacefully get down Whidbye Island to meet some Doper friends in Langley, WA. I admit, I slept in a tiny bit, but really…did I HAVE to get behind the only ultra-law-abiding citizens in WA state? The ones who are so concerned with NOT breaking the law that they drive ten miles an hour UNDER the speed limit? And while we are at it, shall we discuss MapQuest? Who told me I could zip down to where I was going in 1 hour 36 minutes? :rolleyes: If my father hadn’t laughed out loud at the thought, I would have been even LATER…and I have never been late in my life. I am one of those annoying people who thinks that if I get somewhere on TIME, I am actually late.
kittenblue, why am I not on the list? I sent my request in ages ago. [sub]damn bureaucracy…[/sub]
Sassy, as close as I am to the Jersey Shore and Long Island, I shun them on the holidays. I’m not even crazy about the thought of driving five minutes across town to get to my parents’ house!
Dragonblink, the 'burbs of southern New York are fraught with hazards. There is a confluence of drivers from New Jersey, Connecticut, and Massachusetts, all of which are designated Safe Havens for crappy drivers. Add to this the blind, deaf, too-short-to-see-over-the-dashboard senior citizens from Florida driving their Oldsmobile Cutlasses around all summer long, and you take your life in your hands on the roads around here.
Scotti, I don’t have any comments on your post, but I just wanted to tell you I love you, my dear.
Kegg, cut the BS, I know that was you who cut me off yesterday! Wassamatta, were signal lights an option when you bought that car?
While you have my utmost sympathies and understanding, Dave, I do feel the need to point out one thing…
These people are not from Florida. With the exception of my daughter, and her little friend across the street (just two months older than her), no one I know in this state is actually from Florida. You can talk to 300 people a day around here, and every one of 'em will tell ya, “Well, when we moved down here in…”
It’s a little spooky. I’m starting to suspect that there’s some subliminal message campaign <Bush in 2000> going on, that causes people <Bush in 2000> from all over the US to pack up their gear <Bush in 2000> and head south. Dunno why.
And those oldsters with Florida plates driving around your town? All winter long they’re driving around my town with NY, NJ, MI, and various Canadian province plates. Same cars though. I think.
On a vaguely related note: What would make you decide, not to move, on a permanent basis, from Ontario to Southern Florida, but to make the trip back and forth, twice every year, through all those alien speed limits (mph/kph), measures of distance (miles/kilometers) that, well… are these people just metric conversion freaks, or what?
Skeezix, meet TroubleAgain. TroubleAgain, meet Skeezix. Nice to meet you, Skeezix. Now you know a genuine native Floridian (about 4 generations of native.)
Too cold in Ontario during the winters, most unkind to old bones. Too hot in Florida during the summer, most unkind to elderly circulatory systems. And gotta retain that Canadian citizenship, 'cause we gotta keep those medical benefits…the thought of having to pay American hospital bills gives us Canucks screaming nightmares.
TroubleAgain: Ye gods, you exist! I was honestly starting to think your species was just mythical… In all seriousness, how many folks do you know (outside your 4 generations, o’course) who are natives? Or perhaps, what’s the ratio of natives/Damn Yankees amongst your friends n’ neighbors? I think that’s more the figure I’m curious about.
tisiphone: Okay, ya got me. I concede the point. (Though I still have this nagging suspicion that people who can manage those conversions without a calculator and a rulebook are up to something sinister. And miles/gallon, kilometers/liter just puts me into mental fugue.)
To keep this post from becoming a complete highjack:
What is it with people who forget what the weather is like? To clairfy: North o’ the M-D, there’s always at least three idiots spun out off the side o’ the road during the first snowfall o’ the year, even if it’s just a quarter-inch of accumulation. Do these jokers forget that snow/ice on the roads requires you to apply the brakes in a slightly different manner (not to mention a touch earlier) than normal? South o’ the line, you can almost without fail spot at least one bozo (if not several) who nearly cause, or become involved in, a multi-car fender bender every single time it rains? Does this subset of clown fail to remember that rain, especially the daily-20-minute-torrential-downpour-style (TM) that we get served up here in central/southern Florida tends to make the roads slick for a little while, even though the temperature stays above freezing?
Look, you guys… When there’s a half inch of standing water on the pavement, jumping on your friggin’ brakes half a car length before the car in front of you ain’t gonna cut the damn mustard. Slow the hell down for a few minutes, learn to brake in some other manner than “Holy shit, that guy’s stopped now!” and quit bloody tailgaiting, and maybe, just maybe, your friggin’ insurance premiums will come back down out of the 5 digit area. Ya maroons. And we can’t even blame this on the snowbirds, since the rainy season in these h’yar parts is summertime, when the birds is roostin’ up north.
Whew. I thank you for your indulgence. Hrm. I think I need another little blue pill, now.
Back in the days when my wife was still driving, it took a major emergency to get her to drive anywhere when we got the first snowfall of winter. She could never figure out how every driver in Chicago forgot how to drive on snow during the course of the summer, and she had gotten tired of trying to deal with the idiots who slid into the crosswalks because they couldn’t figure out how to brake when there was snow on the streets, or sat there spinning their wheels when the light turned green. :rolleyes:
