The little plastic tabs on the bread bags are color coded alphabetically by delivery day. If you want to buy the freshest bread, stand there in the aisle like a dork staring at the ceiling and singing the alphabet 'til you get to your day/color!
When opening a champagne bottle, having taken the wire and foil off you should then hold the cork still and turn the bottle by the base, not the other way around. The base being wider gives you more torque, and the cork gives you a better grip to hold it steady.
Do bras up before putting them in the washer or dryer - otherwise the hooks rip the hell out of your other clothes.
Parking in a large unfamiliar carpark? Or, got a new or rental car? Use your phone to take a photo of your car including the location (blue E23 or whatever) on the nearest sign or pillar.
Replace “sink” with “mouth” and you really got something there.
Whenever I get an itch I like to slap it rather than scratch it. It provides relief without making the itch any worse, as can usually happen when you scratch something like a mosquito bite. Sometimes having someone slap the area for you can be even better, if that option is available.
Dunno if this is related or not, but…
When you stub your toe, if you immediately press the toe firmly back against the offending object* for 10 or 15 seconds, you will substantially reduce the pain.
*Actually, it doesn’t have to be the same object the toe was stubbed against, but usually it’s the most conveniently placed object that’s suitable.
If you get melted candle wax on the carpet, put a towel over it, then iron the towel. The wax will “soak” up into the towel (you can then wash the towel a few times with hot water and it’ll come out in the washer).
I’m always up for being dorky. So, to clarify:
Blue – Monday
Green – Tuesday
Orange – Thursday
Yellow – Friday
???
Or stick your wet phone in some dried rice for a while.
You need one of these. I’ve got one, and it’s great; a nice red bullseye to pee on (or a green glow if you’ll be sitting), and it doesn’t screw up your night vision.
I had trouble visualizing this.
YouTube to the rescue!
I can’t wait for the opportunity to be a hero and try this.
I feel compelled to issue a warning.
Years ago my boss got a whole lot of stitches in his hand after he slammed a bottle of wine against a door jam. He had been successfully using this trick to release the cork several times before that.
Yep. Just exactly like that.
If by “new” you mean “forever”…
I learned about slapping itches when I got my first tattoo - that’s great for that purpose as scratching a healing tattoo is very bad for it.
Also, for mosquito bites, put some Scotch tape on it. It probably just keeps you from scratching but totally works. Learned that here.
Dishwashing detergent (handwashing soap, not dishwasher soap) works very well for removing grease spots from clothes before washing them. If you dampen the spot a little then rub a bit of soap in and wash, it takes the grease out pretty reliably. I’ve used dish soap on other stains, too - it doesn’t do too badly with them, either.
Ever get a small burn on your finger? Sure, you put ice on it and it feels better- until you remove the ice, the pain comes back, and you can’t go around with ice all day. To fix the pain, you need to go the other direction. Dip your burned fingertip into some warm water (test with an uninjured finger- make it bathwater warm) until you can’t stand the pain. Remove your finger and the pain will subside and generally not return. Hurts like a bitch when you dip it in the warm water, but the relief after is long lasting, unlike the the relief the cold brings.
Works great on sunburn, too. Just take a warm shower (ouch!) and enjoy the relief after the pain from the shower subsides.
To add to stain removal tips:
Mechanics’ hand cleaner, such as GoJo or Goop, works wonders on getting grease, ink, adhesives, and other stuff out of clothes. As with other stain removal techniques, if the stain doesn’t come out in the wash with the first try, don’t machine dry the item. Let it air-dry and try again.
My secret weapon for sunburn is Desitin Creamy. Yeah the butt paste for kids. The creamy kind has aloe. Slather it on the burn and it’ll feel better and not peel. You might have to keep it up for a day or two as it heels, until it stops feeling hot.
I recently found that Desitin works for more severe burns. I grabbed a fork that had just come out of a fire, and my fingers were toast. I soaked them in ice for a bit but they still hurt like hell. I then dried my fingers off, slathered them in Desitin, covered them in bandages, took an Aleve and went to bed. As God as my witness, there was 0 trace of burn in the morning.
Also if you didn’t know, bruises are inflammations. Aleve (naproxen) and Advil (ibuprofen) are anti-inflammatories. If you get a bruise, ice it ASAP and take an anti-inflammatory. Bruises on me tend to be gone within a day if I manage to keep the inflammation down.
Toilet paper tubes = short electrical cord management systems.
Also, this thread has more wrong than I’ve come across in a long time…
Bruises aren’t from inflammation. They’re the result of small blood vessels breaking and blood pooling under the skin. The ice causes the vessels to constrict and limits the amount of blood seeping out resulting in reduced bruising. NSAIDs like Aleve can actually increase bleeding in some people so they’re not really helping reduce bruising.
Desitin, on the other hand, is very useful stuff. The original Desitin is an effective moisture barrier and very soothing. Quite useful on irritated skin in delicate areas. If you don’t mind smelling like a baby for a while. 
Laundry detergent works pretty well for getting crazy glue off your fingers.
This is from my post in an earlier related thread. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=9095832&highlight=conveyor#post9095832
Here’s how I unload my groceries at the checkout. ccc = my cart, M = me, < is the conveyor, C = the checker.
ccc
<<<<<<M
C
I stand at the end of the conveyor with the cart in the lane on my right. I pick up something with my right hand, then transfer it to my left hand. My left hand places it on the conveyor. This speeds up handling.
Another advantage of this method is that you only have to reach across the width of the cart. This is easier than reaching across the length of the cart as you would when standing at either end of the cart.
Years ago I saw someone else use this method and I adopted it immediately. It works so well I just can’t understand why everyone doesn’t do the same. I see someone else use this method only a handful of times a year.
Of course, there are cases when it doesn’t work. I suppose left-handed people might not like it. I sometimes go to a produce store which puts racks of snacks at my end of the conveyor. And I’m sure there are other cases.