Is there any reason the kids’ father is not suing for custody, especially as she left him?
Okay, I can’t answer everyone in turn because I’m dashing off to a meeting, but I promise to when I return.
I will however, answer a couple of common themed questions and misunderstandings:
#1. He worked for years as a steelworker. That’s the only history I know of him. I know steelworkers make some decent money (he worked on high bridges or some such thing) but that doesn’t explain the odd way he behaves with his money.
#2. According to his speech to my friend, he moves around. A lot. He’s got Washington plates on his truck (we’re in California). I took down his license plate number and gave it to friend’s husband, who called a cop friend of his to do a scan. We never heard back.
#3. It’s friend’s husband who’s going into the academy in a couple of weeks, not Mr. Wonderful.
#4. Friend did a people search on him and got hits for 20-odd men with his name in his age range in Washington. That wasn’t a whole lot of help.
#5. Awesome suggestion about checking out the title on the house. Friend told me it was put in sister’s name.
#6. Also, thank you for suggesting she check out the orgins of where that deposit came from. It was in cash. Unfortunately, sister is so in awe over the money (both friend and friend’s sister were raised in a blue collar family that seemed to have instilled the value of financial security above all else. One of friend’s comments upon learning about the house was “why didn’t I meet him first?!” If that tells you all anything.) Like I said, friend’s sister can do whatever the hell she wants. I’m worried about the kids.
I agree she should tell brother-in-law, and I’ll suggest it when I see her tommorow. Thing is, beyond telling friend to do it, I pretty much overstep my bounds. I don’t know brother-in-law and have never even officially met sister (we were never actuallyb introduced over the weekend, although I’ve spent time with her children over the past few years whenever they visit their aunt, my friend.)
All I can write for now. Thank you all for your comments, please keep them coming.
I’m with ccwaterback and Shirley Ujest: I’m thinking there are drugs involved, whether your friend’s sister knows it yet or not. I worked for a long time with a guy who bartended for a living in the restaurant his brother owned. It was a very small place, and the bar wasn’t exactly hopping, and yet this guy drove three extremely expensive cars, owned a giant house with all the latest and most expensive electronics, threw huge parties, etc. He was also single. Guess where the money came from? Hell, I watched many a cocaine deal going down before I even caught onto what was happening, because he handled it so smoothly and quickly. The guy was loaded, but his income sure as hell wasn’t legal.
My assumption is that Creepy Guy also has drug money, and is using your friend’s sister as a foil for his own money. The house and bank account are in her name, so the money cannot be traced directly to him without actual detective work. If the police or Homeland Security or whoever are watching him, they will not be able to find this money through him alone. The trouble is that if this is true, the sister could very well wind up in a heap of legal trouble for accepting and spending the money.
Anyway, if you know the husband, fill him in on everything. He has every right to know with whom his children are living. If I were him, I’d file a custody suit ASAP.
I have no expertise with these sort of things, but if I were the husband, I would immediately talk to a lawyer to see if I could get a restraining order against this weirdo to stay away from the kids. I have no idea if that would be possible, but the husband has a right to know when his kids might be in some type of danger so he can take some measure to protect them.
I’m with the others in thinking this jackhole is probably cooking meth. Or something equally bad that he’s looking to get this woman wrapped up in.
I’d try to contact the local branch of the FBI…the feds have the resources, man…and share your concerns with them; bring the facts you have and ask them to follow up with the stuff that is yet to come up. Tell them of your concerns of the kids, sister, and estranged husband.
Saying that, I’d just like to say:
Unless this guy has a 15 inch dick and can fuck for three hours at a time, I can’t see what she sees in him!
Free sig, anyone? 
I don’t think you’d be overstepping your bounds by informing the husband. If you are really worried about it, send him an anonymous letter. He has a right to know what is happening to his children.
When it comes to the potential for children in danger, there are no bounds. Someone has to do what’s right for them and it sounds like you’re the only one sane enough to do it.
If the mother wants to put herself in danger (physically and legally), that’s her right. She does not have the right to put her children in this situation.
I do see how it would be hugely awkward for Lezlers to go to the husband, but it may be possible to have the sister do it. If not, I would hope Lezlers would take it under consideration.
God, just reading this is making me feel like I’m going to lose my lunch. Please let us know what happens. I pray nothing happens to those poor kids. This guy sounds very dangerous.
A couple of things.
That marriage was already in deep trouble before Skeevy Guy showed up.
That’s why husband is apparently accepting defeat.
Skeevy Guy is either into drugs or porn or both.
I’ll bet he wants to make some movies soon.
I know someone who was in the 14-yearold’s shoes once. New dad swept mom and the kids away and bought them all kinds of cool stuff. Hell, she got a brand new corvette for her 16th birthday. Of course this included some trips to his favorite nudist farm and some special personal pictures of her and her younger brother. That’s the alarm that is going off in my head.
The other possibilty is that Skeevy Guy is seriously trying to hide from somebody. Somebody who wants to hurt him and he is using this family as a shield. That’s why he’s insited on having the girl call him daddy. Somebody is looking for him (a single guy) and he is desperatly trying to hide.
And, Lezlers, isn’t it probably a law where you live that you have to report these kinds of things to DCFS? (I’m just saying I don’t think you’re overstepping your bounds here. It’s clear you’re very concerned about the kids’ welfare, and that is to be admired.)
To me, all this house/cash deposit crap sounds like money-laundering. I think your friend’s sister is headed for a heap big trouble. Doesn’t the bank have a legal responsibility to report this?
Yeah, smells like money laundering to me too.
Find out exactly how much money this guy put down on the 1.5 million dollar house. If there is still a substantial principal on the loan, and it’s in her name…Ouch!
For the kids sake, grab the bull by horns and do some serious background checks on this guy.
And whatever you do, please, please, please, tell the father what’s going on!
Definitely money laundering. He’s putting his money (cash) in her name so it can’t be traced to him. With the kind of numbers we are talking about, I would vote on the coke or meth angle. I am praying it’s not the porno thing, that would take this saga just too far over the top for me. But when we’re talking about 10s of thousands of dollars in hot cash, you can be assured people’s lives at risk.
Bingo. Keep us up and keep the husband even upper. please.
YOU tell the dad.
Either you’re right, and you may save these kids from something that could mess up their lives forever, or you’re wrong, and look a little silly/akward.
Looking silly/akward is a small price to pay to potentially save a kid.
“not my place” or “not my business” is what enables predators all over to hurt kids.
Lezlers, if I was you I’d go directly to the Police immediately. I’d tell them the full story just as you told us. They’ll know what to do. There are kids involved and any hesitation could potentially hurt them. You may know the separated couple in question, but you may not know everything about them.
This is a all complete and utter nonsense. If I didn’t trust you Lezlers (and I do) I’d swear this was the biggest whopper of story I’d heard in years. If all is as you have related, and assuming your friend is not pulling your chain, it’s slap-you-in-the-face obvious he’s a con man of some kind, and possibly a dangerous one.
Almost no one of real means in this society goes around with deliberately unimprinted checks and/or no credit cards unless they are criminals or con men. I would bet dollars to doughnuts all this talk about money in accounts and purchased houses etc is all a fairly tale in the end. Every wealthy eccentric I’ve ever met, no matter how strange, had plenty of credit cards and a regular checkbook.
Soon to be policeman daddy needs to step into this situation quickly. In fact I’m stunned he hasn’t already.
If someone just deposited $50K in cash into a bank account, you can be sure alarms are going off in an IRS office somewhere.
Thanks for all your responses.
I definately got the “he’s hiding from someone/something” vibe. His story is that he made really good money as an iron/steel bridge worker, lived really cheaply and made some really good investments. Hence, his fortune. But that doesn’t explain the weird, almost obsessive need to stay away from banks, credit cards, ect. You’ve got to have a little business sense to make that many good investments and good business sense dictates (to me at least) keeping millions of dollars locked in a safe in a trailer instead of a bank is a really dumb idea. Hell, if you’re that paranoid, keep it all in an overseas bank.
Unless of course you don’t want anyone to trace it, as has been suggested in this thread. I didn’t even think of his dumping the 50K in sisters bank account as laundering. :smack: Get with the program, lezlers! I’m not sure about the bank’s legal obligation as far as reporting large deposits go.
Drugs is a good call too. I should’ve picked up on that one. Hell, my father was a drug dealer, ended up fleeing the country. You’d think I would’ve caught on to that one earlier on. There’s quite a lot of signs pointing in that direction.
As far as a legal duty to report this to CPS, I’m not a mandated reporter. Not that I wouldn’t not walk, but run to the phone if I had some concrete proof, or “reasonable suspicion” defined by the California Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Law as:
The husband’s options are pretty limited as well, considering he’s not legal in this country. Yes, the web thickens. Friend’s sister is legal.
Anyhow, I most certainly will pass all of this on to my friend tommorow (I have to feel her out about sharing this before I disclose the fact that I posted all of her “family business” on a public message board) and strongly urge she tell her brother-in-law.
Jeez, California is an odd place. Here in Chicago there would be a couple of male relatives showing up and “thoroughly interrogating” this new guy.
Bolding mine.
If I’m reading this correctly, you know the mother of three’s aunt, as well as her sister? So, 2 female relatives of the woman who is being so foolish, correct? Why not pay a call to your friend, their aunt, bring the sibling of this woman along? That’s one of the things I’d do. I’d also be likely to call the father, and also consult with the police department. Hope things work out for the best in this, please keep us updated.